First Trip, State of Absolute Pleasure
MDMA
Citation: Simon. "First Trip, State of Absolute Pleasure: An Experience with MDMA (exp119156)". Erowid.org. Sep 10, 2025. erowid.org/exp/119156
| DOSE: |
120 mg | oral | MDMA | (capsule) |
| BODY WEIGHT: | 65 kg |
I had previously used LSD twice (120ug tabs), mushrooms twice (3.5g dried golden teachers), smoked weed a couple of times and gotten drunk once. In terms of stimulants, I am also a frequent user of caffeine (in coffee and tea infusion forms) and sugar sometimes (I like ice cream ok?). It had been over a year since I had consumed any psychoactive substance besides coffee.
It had been over a year since I had consumed any psychoactive substance besides coffee.
I was 25 years old at the time, 177cm 65kg, so essentially tall-ish skinny fat-ish. Though I was very depressed during my adolescence, this was likely due to a combination of environment and mindset/worldview. As I matured, these feelings left me. I don't believe I suffer from any mental or physical conditions that would interact with psychoactive drugs in a negative way. My family does seems to have a general addictive personality, with affinity for both depressants (alcohol) and stimulants (nicotine, cocaine).
As a child of the information age, I am very health conscious and always do a ton of research before consuming a new substance. I was very careful about the set and setting.
For my setting, I was sadly at my previous living space (I moved recently) with my entire family. We were 5 adults living in a 3 room place, and I shared the living room as a bedroom with my brother and uncle. This wasn't much an issue, just meant I could not outwardly display my high state. It was a warm summer evening, I sat at my computer on the dining table, threw on some music on my headphones, opened Reddit and some video to have in the background, and had my pill.
For my set, since I got over my teenage angst, I've been a very happy person, probably happier than most. I had gotten a good job and was on the way to moving out, which was more than I ever thought I would achieve, so I was (still am) in heaven. No tragic events recently, no negative influences on the back of my mind. I mostly know the effects of the drug and am there to have a good time.
And man did I have a good time.
I ate dinner at 17:00 and had my pill at around 18:30. At 19:45 I was on the middle of my come-up. Huge feelings of anticipation, almost like a bit of a drunkness or a very light smoked Marihuana high. My energy kept growing and I kept feeling happier and happier.
These feelings kept rising. No negative effects like anxiety or panic. Next thing I know, I'm reclined in my chair petting my own hair with one hand and my leg with the other one, melting into a puddle of self-love. My body and mind are in a constant state of hyper-intense non-sexual orgasm. The music on my headphones feels like pure love coming out of my computer. I'm thinking about all of the people and good things in my life and almost crying at the beauty of it all. I want to get up and dance but I can't make a scene so I bounce my legs around to the rhythms.
It comes in waves. The intensity slows down, I gain control of my spine again, straighten up and open a new Reddit post to read. In minutes I'm back in the pool of infinite pleasure and I stay there for what feels like an indeterminate amount of time, before I come out again. This repeats a bunch of times until, around 3 hours later, each loop gets less intense.
I'm finally left with an euphoric Marihuana/drunkness that lasts for around 90 minutes until the main effects are done.
No comedown, instead, for the next 2 weeks, I'm left with an insane afterglow. Just remembering what the peak feels like makes me zone out and moan in pleasure, the flashbacks are so strong that I start petting my hair and I can feel the physical euphoria again. I'm super chill and more loving than usual.
For negative effects, my very short-term memory seems to have taken a hit. I don't know if this is because of the drug directly, or because I'm thinking about it so much that I forget other things. It gets better with time. I now take notes on everything anyways, just in case.
10/10 best drug I have ever tried. Very scary in terms of addiction potential, I have thought about MDMA every day since.
I have thought about MDMA every day since.
Neurotoxicity is still debated. It might be, and is likely at some level, inherently neurotoxic, because of neurotransmitter-receptor crosstalk. A lot of research also suggests that the neurotoxicity is due to setting and not the drugs itself, and I'm not a party person, I just like being at my computer. I'd rather be safe and assume some level of inherent neurotoxicity, even at safe dosages and usage intervals. However, I have tried it, and it's the forbidden fruit. Just like fried foods, which I know are actively, directly shortening my life-span, but I still eat some because they taste good, I will use MDMA in moderation, likely until the day I die.
| Exp Year: 2025 | ExpID: 119156 |
| Gender: Male | |
| Age at time of experience: 25 | |
| Published: Sep 10, 2025 | Views: Not Supported |
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| MDMA (3) : Alone (16), Glowing Experiences (4), Retrospective / Summary (11), First Times (2), General (1) | |
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