The Wheel of Fear
Salvia divinorum (10x extract)
Citation: shadow. "The Wheel of Fear: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp12324)". Erowid.org. Jul 1, 2002. erowid.org/exp/12324
DOSE: |
2 hits | smoked | Salvia divinorum | (extract - 10x) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 195 lb |
Feb 2, 2002
First a little background. I've been using drugs for about a year. It started with Freon, then moved on to traditional drugs like Marijuana. I tried DXM and Dramamine/Diphenhydramine a few times as well, but for the biggest part I was untrained in the world of powerful hallucinogens.
Nevertheless, I've done extensive research and thoroughly desired any new experience. I had been hunting for traditional psychedelics such as LSD and Mushrooms for a while, but due to various circumstances I have never gotten my hands on any of them. I have also been on a two year quest for DMT.
My experienced friends called me crazy for wanting DMT or Salvia to be my first real hallucinogen - though none of them had taken those drugs, they were right. Ignoring their advice, I ordered some 10X Salvia and another type of extract, plus some Mimosa Hostilis rootbark.
I had previously tried raw leaf Salvia, and felt that there was some kind of power locked in the drug but didn't break through. I smoked the 10X first with a friend, and simply laughed heavily for five minutes. He felt little.
Over the next few weeks, I tried snorting extract, as well as gel-capping some and taking it orally. I refused to give up - I knew this drug had power, and I wanted to feel it. Today is the Saturday before Super Bowl Sunday, and as my parents were gone to the store, I felt I would go to the back yard and casually smoke a bowl of 10X. I knew I might eventually get something out of the drug, and the more I used it the more likely I would be to break through. Besides, I had temporarily stopped taking my prescription Zoloft, fearing it may have been blocking my experience.
I packed a large bowl of 10X, sat down, and took a hit. I felt strange, stood up, and took another hit. As I was holding the second in, I was thrown into the Salvia world at lightspeed.
I guess I dropped the pipe and managed to pocket my lighter before I fell completely out of reality.
What was the Salvia world like? Punishment. I did not respect Lady Salvia on this day, simply wanting an experience. She obliterated me for it. In real life, I was rolling around on the bushes up against the fence. In my world, I was part of a giant 3d wheel, spinning in this black space. It had lines going from the center to the outside - no, walls - that were made of people. The people had their arms stretched out, and neon signs on their bodies pointed out to the edge of the circle.
'Hello Chase, Now Chase' they chanted, over and over again. I had forgotten I had smoked the Salvia, briefly recalled it, then forgot it again. I thought that the women that seemed to make up the walls of this wheel were trying to direct me into the right place. That place ended up being into my house (having to travel around my pool - it is a fucking godsend I did not fall in and die from aspyxiation in the ice cold water). My sister was at the piano holding her electric guitar. I mubled something and noticed how she saw how weird I was acting. I made an attempt to prove my sobriety but gave up and went into my room.
Keep in mind that I kept cycling from the real world to the wheel. I ran into the bathroom, locked the door, and shed my clothes. I turned on the shower, hoping to regain my footing in reality. I was scared shitless - paniced. Nothing I read, no one I talked to could have prepared me for what was happening.
I sat in my shower desparately trying to force myself back into reality. The mere thought of closing my eyes caused me to temporarily be re-integrated with the wheel. I was scared to close my eyes. I tried masturbating to allow a real-worldy sensual experience to overrun the Salvia.
I remembered my research - light, noise, and distractions made the Salvia experience less powerful. I had my lights on and the shower was very noisy. I think if it were not for this I would have been freaking out somewhere, probably about to get myself in a mound of trouble.
I swore off ever doing drugs again. I was fearful of every noise - was it my parents getting home? Did my sister call the police or an ambulance to deal with me in this state? I forgot what happened to the pipe. I eventually got the courage to sit up and look in my pockets. I had the Salvia, I had the lighter, but no pipe. I feared my parents coming home and finding it. Where had I dropped it?
I turned the water temperature way down - fearing the heat was holding me into the experience. I got out of the shower, locked my bedroom door, and got dressed. I put my lighter away and put my salvia away. I realized the need to find my pipe. I went outside barefooted and tried to maintain my cool - I was still very much in shock. I found the pipe after a minute of searching. It was by the edge of the bushes. I hit it upside down several times to try and empty the bowl - mcuh of my extract is probably wasted now, I had packed a rather large bowl.
I came back in and put the pipe up. I relayed the experience to a few friends on the Internet. I went back outside to look for the filter I had knocked out of the bowl trying to get the Salvia out. I talked to my sister a few times to prove my sobriety. She didn't question what happened at the door. I am thankful for that.
I took some asprin and used the restroom. I'm sitting now in my room, 2 hours after the experience. The drug has worn off, but the emotional shock is still strongly affecting me. I have rationally began to take apart my experience, piece by piece. I will continue to use hallucinogens, even this salvia.
However, I *will* be more responsible about it. For one, I'm never doing any kind of hallucinogen without a trip sitter. That was a dumb move - I had an opportunity to DIE by falling in the cold pool. The DMT in my closet was going to be freebased today and smoked, but I'm going to hold off for a month. I need mental equilibrium.
To lady salvia: I'm sorry. I disrespected you, and got precisely what I deserved. I hope our next meeting is on better terms.
To my readers: Take this as a lesson. I don't give a crap what anyone says about Salvia not having any effect unless you're in a dark environment. I don't care if you had used the drug almost five times like me with no effect. If you disrespect Salvia, you will be blown away. Have a trip sitter, and be in a safe environment. Don't take this for granted.
Peace.
Exp Year: 2002 | ExpID: 12324 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Jul 1, 2002 | Views: 36,725 |
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Alone (16) |
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