DOSE:

2 g

oral

DXM

(capsule)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

I was In the hospital for a catheter.. You know a giant tube jammed inside your pee-hole to pump the Urine out.. The Reason why I had the Catheter was because of the Extreme Overdose I had the night before... It was December 6th I havent Pee'd for about a day due to my side effect of DXM use.. I passed out awoke on the 7th at about 6 In the Afternoon I had plenty of DXM and nothing to do so I popped 4x 500 Mg Capsules I called up my friend Anthony (My Only Friend at that moment due to me being a huge asshole). Him and a couple of his friends said theyd be over at around 8 So I decided to listen to Music and Write my Poetry. In the meantime after about an hour I started itching so much but no matter how much I itched and no matter how hard I did, It Didnt go away, I walked up stairs to look in the mirror to see if I looked as fucked up as I felt.. I was wrong I was much worse.. I found that my whole face was extremely red .. It might have been an effect of the mix of my Anti-Depressants and Anti-Biotics.

Either way I was itching until I bled.. The Blood seemed to be the only thing to ease the Itching so I itched until I bled and Bled... It was about half an hour before I relized I should stop itching.. Even worse was the itchin on my head.. It felt bumpy in the scalp and it felt so warm and burnin hot my whole body felt like it was on fire...I felt nothing on my body just the heat and itchin I decided to have a cigg to take off distraction of the heat.. The ciggarette drags felt like nothing it was just like breathing air..I accidentally ashed on my arm and noticed a little bit of the cherry burning my flesh ... I didnt feel it... I decided it would be an interesting thing to put out the ciggarette out on my arm didnt feel it at all....

I then decided to take a nap until my friends were over I couldnt sleep at all but then I found myself in somewhat of a dream with my eyes closed but it wasnt a dream it was my life... In this Pseudo Hallucination in a sence, I was a green liquid floating in a deep black void... As I was floating parts of the liquid (me) started drifting apart then I became the little peice of liquid floating alone the larger core of the liquid froze as if time stopped for it and as the green liquid I expanded and I saw my self I had memories of my life, Stupid little things like seeing someone I found attractive and doing nothing. Then the moment froze and I changed what really happened as if I could go back in time and change what I regretted not or actually doing, I saw my life in a hole new perspective. After the peice that drifted away was done with the memory, time came back for the larger core and the cycle continued but with a different memory... To many memories visited to list but you get the point either way I awoke by a push and constant shoving of my friend apparently he was doing it for quite a while he said 'I thought you were dead... I was all excited because if you die I get you big screen tv... And by the way wow you look shitty' I laughed and offered him some DXM he took about a hundred mgs of it maybe more I was to busy trying to realize what just happened.

It was 8:30 My cousin Christopher drove me and Anthony to the Movie Theater I dazed off staring at his new CD System with a bunch of lights all of a sudden I was smacked from the back of my head and two other people were in the car and we were at the movie theater it was about 9:10 and we were walking into the movie we bought Tickets for.. It was 'OCEANS 11' the movie theater we went to was a huge one with stadium seating it was so confusing walking first off because I couldnt really control my legs they sorta just went the direction I was looking... And doing a shitty job at that everything was all chopey like if there were missing frames in a cartoon, things would seem to just be skipping so much id move my hand left an right and it would just show up as my hand appearing on the left side then appearing on the right side no sign of my hands moving between the to intervals... Anyways I sat down and started talking to Anthony he started laughing because he said all my words were melted together as if I would say a hole sentance as one big word.. He also said Id trail off about the littlest things and babble and babble about unimportant shit...

Either way after that the movie started and it made no sence whatsoever it was like it was a different movie starting every 10 minutes.. I would constantly think about the stupidest things like I wonder if that steak in the movie is as good as it looks and how Julia Roberts was completely over paid for not even beign in the movie at all.. Movie ended we all stopped at the bathroom before going back home I stood there trying to pee for about 10 minutes no matter how hard I tried nothing would come out.. If I was lucky a drop or two the whole time I was there, after that Anthony convinced me to have more liquids (dumb idea when you feel like your gonna explode to begin with) but I still had some 7Up.. It seemed as if we just appeared at my house.

Once at my house I went to the bathroom trying to pee for about an hour and a half before giving up, I came downstairs to find Anthony going through my pills and popping some he offered me some more DXM and I said no thats alright, I tried to go to sleep for what seemed like ages just so I wouldnt feel the pain after some convincing Anthony made me come to the conclusion that if I took more DXM Id be able to go to sleep I was desperate and figured it was worth a shot he passed me a capsule I dont know how much was in it, But then again I didnt really care.. I took the capsule and he was right after about 20 I was asleep I woke up and everyone was gone, I went up stairs to go to the bathroom and still couldnt, It was 2 days since I peed the pain in my blatter turned into more of numbing pain all through my midside, My mom asked me what was wrong and I told her that I hadnt pee for 2 days she told me to drink Cranberry juice so it will help my urinary traction.. No such luck it made things worse then she drove me to the nearest Hospital...

I arrived at the Hospital after waiting for about 20 minutes the Specialist finally attended me... After her whole check up she told me to take off my boxers and put a gown on.. There were like 3 doctors there poking around at my crotch theyd poke and ask how bad it hurt I was beign a smart ass to them and still my words were being melted together they thought it was just my bladder being so full that it made me look high anyways I doubt you want the details about the whole process so Ill skip to after the hospital, I went home and fell asleep I felt so extremely well after finally being able to have my fluids drained (On a side note the doctor wanted me to keep the catheter on for a couple days but I said no because my girlfriend was coming over the next day and it didnt seem like a cool thing to be with her while I have a bag of piss taped to my leg connected by a tube in my peehole) I passed out woke up from a call... It was my girlfriend asking me if we were still on for Sunday or if I just wanted to take time to feel better I told her I was fine and took another DXM and went to sleep (Wow I never learn my lesson do I?).

Next day came we were together it was perfect until I fucked it up by not kissing her after she had Burger King (My girlfriend was the most beautiful girl Ive ever seen offered to be a model and everything.. Damn I was a fag...) Either way when she had to go home I was on my way to the car but then I started blacking out I wasnt sure if it was the stress of the fight me and her were having or a side effect of the DXM either way I slowly fell to the floor and started Hyperventilating, her and my mom thought it was just a prank and it took the about 15 minutes of screaming and hitting me before relizing it was really happening.

They called the ambulance and they started asking me if I did any drugs (They asked me that about 30 times before the night was over) I just said no again and again they put a mask over my face to help me breath, My body was jumping on its own and I was taking fast deep breathes until my body went numb and I felt relaxed.. I asked the ambulance paramedic for a cigarette he got pissed and lectured me on how smoking is bad.. Either way Ill just wrap up the story by saying I got dumped by my girlfriend at the ER and it burnt for a week everytime I peed because of the catheter. Anyways I was in the ER twice in the past two days but hey at least I got to keep the cool white tags they put on my wrist... Right?.. I stopped doing DXM and stopped drugs completely so my girlfriend would take me back. That lasted 2 days then I was back on my constant conquest to numb body from my hell... My life... Either way Im going to attach a poem I wrote while I was on DXM.

Deeper Into My Addiction

Reprise...
Devour my insides
Bones have become
Paper Thin..
Frail...
Im disgusted
With this reflection I see
Why... Why must this be me
Tare threw this glass
Shatter this obstruction
Knuckles cracked
Eyes are black
All i see
Is blood before me...
Pitty...sorrow....self loathing
Cradle me inside your arms
Protect me....love me.... Fear me.. Kill me...
Fill me.... Leave me... Unsatisfied
Deeper inside my filthy addiction
Boil my love prepare for injection
I jam the needle
Beneath my skin
Healing scabs
Torn again
A drop of blood
Assures me love
No comforming.... Dulls my pain
To rush into my veigns
To rush into my brain
My blood flesh and my bones
Or triggered by this aid
And no matter what you say
I see no other way
I need this to heal me
I need this to fill me
I need this to trick me
I need this to glue
My shattered hope
Once again.....
Hope of change
Hope of things that will never be
I want you........
You try to get up but you always fall down
Try to get up
Youll just fall down


Written by me Ivan Rivera
(PS: Feel free to E-mail me or IM me if you have AOL when ever you would like to get any other information on this or one of my many other experiences.. O yeah and other people posting.. Show some balls and give your Email address and real name.. This can really help alot of people... Keep that in mind..)

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 12598
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 12, 2010	Views: 9,025
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DXM (22), Pharms - Antibiotics (480), Pharmaceuticals (73) : Combinations (3), Overdose (29), Depression (15), Health Problems (27), Small Group (2-9) (17)