DOSE: T+ 0:00	2 hits		MDMA
T+ 6:00	1 bump		Ketamine

BODY WEIGHT:

250 lb

I have only used MDMA on a few occasions. My last and I stress last experience with this substance was life changing. I began the day normally having eaten two square meals. That night I dropped the two double pressed tabs on the advice of a friend and I quote 'It's really good'. We proceeded to the local rave bar and I waited patiently for it to set in. Meanwhile I watched a wonderful comedy act. I was in a generally good mood.

Approximately 45-55min later the effects started to come on. First came the 'perma-grin', then a wonderful sensation of joy and happiness. These feelings lasted for about two hours. The next wave was one of a different nature. I was watching a very loud flashy show and honestly thought I was beginning to have an acid flashback. The lights were distorted as was the music. At one point a performer came on stage and I saw swords protruding from her head. This was the beginning of the end. I began to feel very afraid. I felt as though I wasn't grounded so to speak. Any object I came in touch with, people included I grasped a hold of firmly. I thought I was loosing myself. It was a panic type feeling. My friends saw I was having a problem and took me home as I requested this being about 6hrs after the initial drop. They gave me a large bump of K and tucked me into bed. I fell into a type of waking dream state. Eventually I fell fast asleep. Having visions of things to come, usually bad things happening to people I care deeply for. The next morning I was overwhelmed by a sense of fear and doom. I couldn't get the visions out of my mind.

I cried for days thinking that my friends/family were going to die. Being a healthcare professional I realized that this could be due to the drop in serotonin. But all attempts to reverse this failed ie smoking pot. This clarity of all clarity came over me. I decided right then and there that I was A: Never doing drugs of any sort again. B: That if only my family and loved ones were okay that I would spend every moment I could with them letting them know how important to me they are.

This was a life changing experience for me. It has made my life better. Before this happened I was afraid to go into public etc(due to a bad acid trip years b4) which was causing many of my close relationships to suffer. I am now so acutely aware that my life and my loved ones lives could end at any time. This has become my new motivation to spend more time with them all. I am now able to go into public places without fear and I make sure that all those close to me know how much I love them. This horrible experience with MDMA has shown me that I must change and that life is to precious just to sit around being afraid.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 12924
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 1, 2017	Views: 1,649
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Ketamine (31), MDMA (3) : Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Various (28)