DOSE:

2 tablets

oral

MDMA

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

Summer of 1999. Bliss!

There I was, a 23 year old graduate, good job, having fun with alchohol and dope. I'd just split up with a long term girlfriend after deciding it was time to settle down or split up. Moved into a house with some old uni friends having what I thought to be a great time.

Summer came and so did the the boyz summer holiday. Destination Ibiza!

I had never rolled until then, I'd always pretty much stuck to dope and alcohol. Wow, what a fantastic introduction to pills. Pacha, Space, Manumission.... What an unbelievable time I had... I couldn't believe that you could feel as good as when you're rolling in a room full of hundreds of people all doing the same. Doing pills seemed to bring out the real me, uninhibitited by the usual insucurities and shyness I was a GOD.

By Christmas that year I was completely fucked. Early in December I was out clubbing in London, dropped a couple of nice pills had an excellent night (as usual) and felt the world wasn't such a bad place after all. By the time I got off the train home all that had changed. For some reason I just couldn't remember how to get home from the train station. The next day (about 8-10 hrs after getting off the train) a house mate phoned me up wondering where I was. He came and picked me up, dropped me off at home and then went off to his girlfriends for the weekend. I can remember feeling pretty spaced out and laughing that I couldn't remember where we lived...

Since then I've realized I spent the 8 or so hours trying to get home from the train station, when it was only a 15 minute walk.

Monday came and I didn't turn up to work, I'd forgotten that I was supposed to go to work and couldn't remember where it was either. Eventually friends and collegues realised that all wasn't well. They took it in turns to look after me for a couple of weeks, hoping that it was something temporary, maybe one of the pills had ketamine or something?

I spent two weeks being looked after by different friends every day as I couldn't remember even simple things like if I'd eaten etc. I carried round a bit of paper with notes about what had happened to me so I didn't keep asking them what had happened to me...

Eventually they realised I wasn't making any progress and it looked serious so they got in touch with my parents and I spent a miserable Christmas with them feeling guilt, shame, and being scared shitless that I'd really screwed up my brain.

Eventually I was coaxed into going back to work, a manager at my company was a good close friend so the idea was that I would go back and work in his team for a few months to get back into the swing of things and eventually be OK.

Well, since then I've made little/no progress. I'm generally in a permenant state of confusion about things that involve short term memory, my long term memory (Childhood and events that occured three or four years before this happened seem ok) I've been made redundant from a job that I used to excell at, I've had to quit the replacement job I found, because quite frankly I'm embarrassed at how poorly I performed. And now I'm at home without a job and money is rapidly running out.

I don't sleep properly, I don't have dreams any more, and people treat me like I'm a freak or really stupid because I get easily confused in simple conversations, I no-longer have any sense of direction and after a couple of years of this I'm now completely depressed.

I realise that the long term effects of E will be different for each and everybody who does it, but listen to what people are saying. Question why the best nights rolling are the one's when you first start taking it. Listen to those experienced in this and most of all don't believe you are indestructable....

Exp Year: 1999	ExpID: 14198
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 1, 2002	Views: 18,352
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