DOSE:

12 in

oral

Cacti - T. pachanoi

(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

220 lb

I had my first encounter with San Pedro yesterday. To prepare it I froze and thawed it two times, then scraped most of the flesh other then the core into a bowl, froze and thawed it too more times, then put it in a blender with vitamin-C and extra water. I allowed it to soak a few days in the fridge to allow most of the alkaloids to go into solution. On the day of consumption I filtered most of the liquid through a T-Shirt, then dumped a little more water on top to try and get most of the alkaloids out.

I first started off by sipping a very small amount at around 8:35 AM which seemed to have me mellow and relaxed within half an hour. From 9 until 11 AM I slowly sipped the massive amount of foul tasting liquid until there was no more. A euphoric body high came over me which felt some what like acid, but smoother, more natural, earthy, slower, and with an empathic push almost on par with MDMA. Every time I inhale I smell a delightfully sweet smell which can only be described as perfect. For hours now I have been in awe of the delightful beauty of nature, I still can't figure out why everyone doesn't enjoy being in the park.

I feel the grass being crushed underneath my feet and it saddens me. I do not wish to cause harm in this world but unfortunately our survival is dependant upon it. If you live, you will both cause and receive harm. The sooner you can come to grasps with this the sooner you can move on.

At around 11 AM I lay down and close my eyes, the sun is very bright and turns my whole field of vision white with the aid of Mescalito. The hints of shapes are moving within the light but it's so subtle it's hard to make them out clearly. Earthy color schemes primary of a brownish red and intense white nature flood my eyelids. Navy blues and every once in awhile an almost neon purple so bright it almost looks pink are ranking third and fourth in dominant presence. Subtle round geometric shapes begin to appear which remind me distinctively of Native American art.

The most distinct shape I see, I call 'The Eye of Mescalito'. Picture a disk with the lower half of an archetypal key hole protruding from all four corners, but their coming in a slight angel. It's filled with mostly darker colors that are also very vivid, arranged threw out like the rings in a tree, with the rings being most frequent in the center and growing fatter as it goes out. I never knew such a beautiful image could be conjured with these dark colors.

I open my eyes and begin to wander around. I head deeper into the forest and begin to have a conversation with the trees. Having a conversation with the trees is quite interesting, you have a thought which you wish to communicate with them, and then you receive a thought back which you just know is their reply. It's like your brain is converting the signal back and forth between a message they can understand, then their reply into one you can.

I've often wondered if it's the individual plant I'm speaking with, or some sort of collective unconscious of all species of that plant due to the fact as an individual they don't seem to possess much intelligence, but as a whole they seem very wise. It's also possible they have an intelligence I don't understand, or a combination of the two. One day I may know for sure.

We have a conversation that starts with me wondering, 'I never realized how many trees there are in this world. I'm amazed more people don't think about how many trees there are. There are probably more trees then humans.'

They then replied 'We prefer not to be noticed, if a person notices you it usually means trouble. Usually they want to harm you or cut you down for wood when they notice you. It's not kind.'

So I worry, 'Does that mean you don't want me noticing you?'

They gently tell me, 'No your OK with us. Your one of the good ones.'

With that I am at ease and continue my walk. I notice many birds, squirrels, and chipmunks running away as I approach. I tried telling them 'I don't eat you, I eat cows, you have nothing to worry about', knowing that it would do no good even before I spoke it. None the less I must try.

After walking threw the park for a few more minutes I realize an intense desire to empty my bladder. With people around, I decide to enter the porta poddy despite the fact they are renown as universal bad trip catalysts. I'm in luck! It seems very fresh like it hasn't even been used once yet!

While sitting down waiting to relieve myself the first open eye visuals are noticed as a fractaline morphing of the rich texture of the porta poddy plastic. The pattern is rich, pulsing in and out of existence to the rhythm of my heartbeat, slow moving, and much fatter as well as rounder looking compared to visuals that I have gotten off of other psychedelics. It is mild compared to what I have experienced in the past but none the less very enjoyable.

BAM! As I flush my body of liquid wastes, the spiritual burden hits me at precisely the same moment also wishing to be emptied from my system. My biggest work block is a result of fear of being alone. I have incredible talents but I couldn't find an inner push to use them and I could never quite figure out why, and this problem has been aching me for ages. If I begin working I will have a fortune in my hands and will have to move out away from my family, thus by placing me alone.

For me this wouldn't be such a big problem if I had a lot of friends to interact with but I had always been the shy loner. I dig deep and ask myself how I had become this. The answer was in placing too much value on interacting with my father. The man is incredibly stingy with his time to the point of being anti-social, and on top of that his people skills are rather lacking so those interactions he does have, he comes off gruff, harsh, and unfriendly.

My personality had become so needy for attention that I was willing to become a person who pissed everyone off and assaulted their senses just so some one would look at what I was doing, because this is the only thing that seemed to get any attention from him at all. I have acquired many bad habits such as snapping my fingers at regular intervals and not listening to people when they ask that I stop doing something that is bothering them due to the cravings for attention. I tend to avoid people at the anticipation of them not liking me.

I spend some time thinking about all the things people do for attention and that I am not alone in this even if the way I reacted has placed me so. People will give themselves piercings which to most in tuned eyes are ugly holes one puts in their body. They will dress like a goth because they want to stand out, even at the cost of making themselves ugly in the process. There are many more examples, I'm sure you can think of some.

'We could all learn something from the trees', crosses my mind. 'Be more like the trees, prefer people don't pay attention to you. It's alright if they don't always look and stare.'

The weight within me has grown heavy from feeling the darkness inside. I feel it and let it flow through me stronger and stronger, so that I may purge it from my psyche and take my life into a new and better direction. The weight starts lifting.

Just as I feel that I have had enough, and seen all that I needed to see, magically my ride home appears. She was late according to the time she said, but not late according to what I needed to experience. The universe provides.

Upon getting home my sense of humor is greatly enhanced and I make many witty remarks about various social situations. When hearing people complaining about who was going to move some boxes, I said 'To rephrase master Yoda, 'Do or Do Not, There Is No Bitching''. Many more entertaining comments were made on my behalf, but so many of them were made I can't keep track of them all. If I had a tape recorder to remember all the flood of information and then started rehearsing what I had learned, I'm sure I could be a successful comedian.

Things are winding down, most of the mental high and all of the visual high have long dissipated. I spend some time in front of the computer chatting, making witty remarks based on taking things literally primarily. One of the non literal conversations took place when I mentioned that San Pedro was good... Repeatedly in caps with many exclamation marks and emoticon smilies.

Some one jokingly said, 'Someone call the cop! He's on drugs.'

So I responded with, 'No, No, No. Drugs are bad. Feeling Good = Bad. Learning things that Could Improve your life = Bad. Being a Slave to System = Good.' All are entertained, a wonderful thing.

It's around 4 PM and all that remains is an enhancement of the senses and a great tiredness. I drink juice and the taste is not only stronger but it's slightly altered, incredibly pleasant. I try to watch a movie but it's dull and uninteresting so I switch on a tape to watch Carl Sagan's 'Cosmos', an incredibly trippy masterwork for those with interest in science (in a perfect world that would be everyone). Watch until about 6 PM then go to sleep.

Wake up 6 1/2 hours later still feeling mildly altered. I'm incredibly tired but at the same time rejuvenated. I drink some juice and eat some olives. The pleasant alteration and enhancement of tastes is still there, although milder.

All in all I would have to say that San Pedro is a VERY WISE teacher. He opens up a very deep head space without so much alteration that you become distracted in the aesthetic. Also for me most psychedelics point out the problem, but San Pedro is better for finding the root of the problem after it is revealed, making it easier to correct. If your seeking a teacher, I have yet to find a better one, but if your looking solely for entertainment, there are better options.

-D Max-

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 14453
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 16, 2004	Views: 31,274
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Cacti - T. pachanoi (64) : Alone (16), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)