DOSE:

8 oz

oral

DXM

(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

I tried DXM for the first time in my life yesterday, and although I've had many intense experiences with mushrooms and the like, I've never had anything quite like this...which is why I decided to write about it.

As far as preparations - there really weren't any. It was all kind of a spur of the moment type thing.

I was feeling fine when I first took it, I was totally relaxed and everything...but I went through a lot of insecurity and fear during the actual trip itself.

I’ve always been the experimental type, and I’ve always been willing to try new things…but when it came to DXM I never really had much of an opinion on it. I had seen other people on it and it didn’t seem all that appealing to me. You know, it was just one of those things that I couldn’t care about one way or the other. But the other day I got a bit curious, and on a spur of the moment decision I picked up a couple of 4oz bottles of Tussin Maximum Strength Each bottle contained approximately 300mg DXM, so I was pushing 600 that night.

I chugged the bottles one after the other sometime around 4:30-5:00 in the afternoon…and I was noticing effects within the first half hour. At first all I remember feeling is that whole ‘impending cloud of doom’ feeling I get sometimes when I think something bad is going to happen but I don’t know exactly what. And at the same time I was feeling kinda queasy…like I wasn’t sure if I’d feel better if I induced vomiting, or just roughed it out. To be honest with you neither were looking all that tempting at the moment. I decided to wait for it to past.

During the first hour or so I felt like I was in some kind of time loop where I just kept doing the same four or five things over and over again. I’d find myself taking a piss, and every time I did I’d look in the mirror, and I always looked different. Then I’d turn around and flip the light switch off, open the door, and stumble down the hall (hanging onto the walls as I walked) and somehow or another find my way to my room. Then everything would turn black for a second or so and the next thing I know I’d be in my bed, and then suddenly I’d be at my computer and be feeling just fine. I’d turn on my music, then open up a word document and type a few lines about how I was feeling, and then I’d have to go to the bathroom again. So I’d minimize all my windows, turn off my music, and wobble back to the bathroom. This went on again and again and again, and I know I wasn’t just imagining it cause I had about twenty or so windows open this morning when I woke up.

So obviously I kept repeating myself…but for some reason though it felt like I was doomed to keep repeating myself forever; like I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. The odd thing about all of this though is that every single time I went through this whole ‘time loop’ thing I noticed a bunch of little differences from one to the next. For instance when I looked into the mirror I noticed my pupils getting larger and my eyes getting glossier every time, and my room kept getting more and more distorted. (the room itself kept getting smaller and everything in it kept getting bigger…at one point in time I was even hunching over because I was convinced I would hit my head on the ceiling if I hadn’t)

I finally broke myself free from this terrible trap by going outside for a little while. I thought that if I were seen just going outside for a few minutes my old man might get suspicious, so to make it seem like I had a reason to be out there I took one of my larger pictures with me and put it outside in the laundry room. This gave me enough time to break the chain of redundancy and clear my head. I also noticed at this point in time that my family was watching a race on TV…which was great for me cause it meant that no one had even noticed the couple of dozen times I went to the bathroom within the past hour or so. I also remember grabbing a drink of water before heading back to my room, which helped tremendously. I also remember holding the glass with both hands cause I was so afraid I’d drop it (after all, I wasn’t exactly walking too straight at the time, so I couldn’t have been too confident with myself) I must have looked like a nut at the time…but again, the family was preoccupied at that time so no one took notice.

Anyways – I got back to my room and then all at once things took a turn for the worse. I was fine for the first couple of seconds or so, but it didn’t take long at all for me to start feeling claustrophobic. I was caught between a rock and a hard place, seeing as I didn’t want to leave my room for fear of being caught, but I also didn’t want to stay there either.
So I decided to just lie down for a while and see if I could sleep it off, unfortunately though that didn’t work. Granted, I felt comfortable as all hell in my bed, but I still couldn’t get to sleep, which of course made me feel uneasy. Then completely out of nowhere I had the most bizarre experience of my life.

I actually felt like I had died and was brought back in time to a time about two years or so before this whole experience, where I had apparently gone through the same exact thing but forgot it in it’s entirety. I had the most intense Déjà vu at that moment. I could recall everything that was happening, and I knew everything that was about to happen even before it happened. Almost as if I had done the same exact thing a million times over. It was strange though cause it seemed like there was some sort of a wormhole or something between last night, and a non-existent event that was just like it, only two years earlier.

Then I began thinking about all the mistakes I had made within the past two years, and I started thinking about all the things I would do differently this time around. I truly believed that I had gone back in time…words can’t even describe it.

So anyways – I begin replanning my future when all at once I’m pulled back to a time that was two months ago…this time though it was just for a moment. I found myself visiting with my grandma when she gave me the picture I had just taken outside to the washroom earlier. I remember taking it into my room and going to bed. Then I remember walking up a second later and the picture was gone – I was back in the real world again. This is when I started getting spooked. So instead of allowing myself to jump through time anymore I just went back to my original ‘time loop’ of going to and from the bathroom.

I thought that even that would be better then reliving anything else over again. Unfortunately though this didn’t work quite how I had hoped it would. You see, earlier it was like a natural reaction, but now that I was trying to force myself to do the same thing it didn’t seem right. My legs felt more wobbly then before, the hallway kept expanding and contracting, and my eyes kept bugging out on me. Finally I decided to lie down again. This time though I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was going to die some time that night (assuming of course that I hadn’t already) I don’t know why I felt like that either, but for some reason I became unbearably worried about death…which is very strange for me seeing as I haven’t worried about death or been afraid to die since I was real young.

The thing that sucked about this is that I started out thinking that I’d get hit by a car or something and that the only way I’d be safe is to stay in my room…but then I started thinking that it would be a power cable falling through my window or some shit like that, and that the only way I could save myself would be to leave my room. So once again I was stuck in a bit of a rough spot. I decided to leave.

By this time it was some time after midnight, but not quite one yet. I put on my socks and shoes and cruised on out the door, without a word being said. I have no idea how I looked, but I felt like I was still having a fairly tough time moving. But no one took notice, and no one asked where I was going, so all was good. As I was walking down the road I kept jumping back every time I heard a car go by (many times the car was on the next street over) and when I got towards the store I saw a huge Mack truck pull out onto the road…once again I was experiencing Déjà vu. I couldn’t help but think that this truck was gonna be the one that flattened the crap out of me. I just stood there like a deer frozen in the headlights and I waited for it to get close enough to do its job. Of course the truck was only going about ½ a mile an hour, but that’s beside the point. I didn’t move out of the way or anything else like that, I just fuckin stood there. I watched as it came closer and closer, and then I watched as it turned onto the road I was standing in front of. I couldn’t help but think that I might really have been squashed had I not stopped when I did. And then all at once I wasn’t worried about dieing anymore. It was odd.

So I continued on to the store and picked up something to drink, then I headed back home and busted out a couple of glow sticks. I danced around for a bit seeing as I was actually enjoying myself now, and then shortly after that I went to bed. I was still a bit out of it this morning, but all in all I’d say (looking back on what happened) it really wasn’t all that bad. I don’t think I’m going to be doing it again any time soon, but I don’t think I’m going to give up on it all together either. I’d say it’s definitely not a recreational drug though. But I am thinking it could have some possible uses in self discovery, and things of that nature. Perhaps some day I’ll look more into that…for now though, I’m just glad I made it through my first DXM experience alive and unharmed.

Also - some things that I forgot to describe were the physical aspects of the trip (seeing as so much of it was mental) I had a warm kinda glowing feeling from my stomach and chest, but my arms and legs felt pretty chilly. And I kept getting these waves that came over me throughout the night...they sort of made me feel like I had huge piles of blankets on me or something (basically I'd feel really heavy all of the sudden, and then all at once it would go away again).

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 15057
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 18, 2006	Views: 24,614
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DXM (22) : Alone (16), First Times (2)