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I Was Overpowered; I Crumbled and Cried
Mushrooms
Citation:   Fisher. "I Was Overpowered; I Crumbled and Cried: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp15318)". Erowid.org. Jul 19, 2005. erowid.org/exp/15318

 
DOSE:
1.0 g oral Mushrooms (plant material)
BODY WEIGHT: 121 lb
As a dreaming teenager and avid pothead, I delighted on the fantasy of psychedelic tripping and visual hallucinations. My father, being a lifelong user/guru of such drugs, I felt that exciting and meaningful trips were in my blood. On my journey to enlightenment and the hope of harnessing the power of the coveted LSD, I decided to start things off with something mellow. After hearing wonderful reviews from other students I decided mushrooms would be a good start.

My initial use of mushrooms was disappointing. Aside from a few mere-second breaks of whirling joy, the experience was dull and uneventful. I didn't feel high at all whatsoever.

Hoping for better results I tried mushrooms a few more times. On both occasions I got really, really stoned and my visual depth perception was altered mildly. I was jolly, silly, and felt as light as air. I was satisfied with these results and perceived this to be the definitive effects of mushrooms on my body. I was wrong.

On my fourth shot with mushrooms things changed dramatically. After consuming the spores the poisons began to take effect rapidly, progressing significantly with each passing minute. After briefly consulting my Jabba the Hutt toy, I felt prepared for anything. As I seated myself on the couch my artistic mind was suddenly flooded with an array of spectacular images. The walls began to melt and pulse randomly, growing distant, growing large. My hands turned to jelly and couldn't lift a book. Rainbow patches of fusing colors and twirling spirals revolved around my eyes pleasantly. I was bombarded with patterns of checkers, clowns, and a deeply layered systems of pipes and sprockets. As my father lie near me he was covered in sets of eyes. The embodiment of Ponda Baba gazed at me from afar. My ears accustomed to an electric buzzing, as random sound bytes echoed in my mind. The sensations were incredibly beautiful and I felt lovely and energized.

After a failed attempt to eat something, I rose and headed to the kitchen for a refreshing drink. Alas, I didn't make it far. I am one to dream, dream of the stars, as I often do. I entered into deep thoughts about trivial details of my everyday life. Meanwhile, on the floor my body spasmed and moaned as I travelled elsewhere, pondering the universe. Dad rushed to my side, though he was high 'I must help the kid.' When I then realized that I was alive, I went insane. Without any warning I was suddenly at my peak. The intense rush of it all was more than I could take. I screamed dramatically as I lost control of everything. I flailed, clinging to dad, slamming the wall, bruising my legs. It was psycho and crazed, I was over-powered, I crumbled and cried. I drifted from my mind to the world off and on. I would think for a second, then return, madness at full.

To the bathroom I went where I promptly puked, but things didn't end. Tiny purple dots everywhere cluttered my brain. I travelled back to my mind for a short time, then I came back. This time it was so fucked, I felt something strange, something I knew. It seemed, strange as it sounds, that my life had just began. I experienced something I can only define as 'being a baby.' With previous memories gone, I was reborn just for a while.

I was all paranoid, and thought that I was gonna die. My dad, close at my side, calmed me with words of reality. I lay face on the floor, hearing his words that I'd be okay.

I journeyed back to the couch where I lied still, calming my mind. I tried hard to fight it but thought bizarre immoral thoughts. It made me so sad, I wanted to die. I was constantly getting this deja vu feeling, I remembered everything. I went through several phases and each one was weird, distorted in look. I finally calmed down and I felt like the previous trip. Things looked kinda odd, funny and stretched but that was it. I looked back at my previous mushroom trips and laughed. I was nervous all night. I looked to nature to make me well.

I think about the whole experience a lot, it altered my state of mind. The details are forever imbedded there forever. My father advises me not to take any more hallucinogenics. He says people who are insecure about themselves shouldn't do them. I haven't taken mushrooms since but there is a part of me that is determined to. Another part of me is cautious and a little scared to try again. It's a paradox, I don't know what I'll do.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 15318
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 19, 2005Views: 5,197
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Mushrooms (39) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Guides / Sitters (39), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5)

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