DOSE:

smoked

Salvia divinorum

(extract - 10x)

I re-met one of my shamans this week at home. He was walking by a smoke circle; I felt him and looked over, he looked right back and joined us. Very soon he began to explain (with a memory so direct I could feel MYSELF sliding in, fast, just off of his presence) what Salvia is and that he wanted to share it with anyone interested. I told him I needed to calm down but that I really, really would.

Later that night, he introduced about six people to 6x extract. A close female friend with whom I've travelled before went in first; everyone nearby said they felt lightning come off the pipe as she took her hit, and we all stayed near and comforting as she went in. She emerged breathless, happy, a little frightened, and unwilling to try it again, much less anything stronger. Then a brother and I went in together - it was, we all agreed, as though a mosaic of energy tic-tacs was resting just in front of you. You couldn't seem to DO anything, but it was apparent that you were supposed to. Then one of the tic-tacs sucked me through for a time unit, while my brother was having his body yell '13 IS THE WRONG MICROSPHERE! 17 IS THE WRONG MICROSPHERE!' etc. I believe he was talking about the tic-tacs. My own reaction was one of mixed awe, confusion, and worry ('am I the one shouting in that reality? Is there actual shouting?') - but primarily joy. I have tripped at home before, and learned irrevocably that every one of us is 'there' too, supporting and cheering for one another; at home, the whoops of delighted drummers can be heard in a very special way by my real self, squashing the Fear and helping me to 'skip over' the 'oh my god where am I what is this HELP' stage that begins a major adventure.

I popped out much sooner than I wanted to, because I was worrying about this reality, and my guide immediately told me 'you handled that extremely well' and offered to expose me to the 10x extract the next day. He was a very concientious guide and wouldn't turn people on twice in the same day, on other substances apart from ganja, if he was still too far inside, or if they seemed afraid. I told him 'of course.'

I found him (or he found me?) The next evening and we returned to my tent. He recommended I lie outside, because coming back to this reality in a tent would be too confusing (EXCELLENT advice, not to be inside, it's so much harder to figure out - insideness). This was a 10x extract prepared by a shaman friend of my guide, and I could tell by 'looking' that it had been charged with big energy. My mind began to reel, but I smoked one large bowl in two huge tokes; from the first second I could feel myself leaving and had no desire to exhale, but did so anyway and took another one. I lost conciousness entirely for a sliver of a second and then woke up - THERE. It felt like I was in a prison for my mind - like I was coming to in my tent, except that I couldn't seem to wake up my body. I struggled for a long time, begging my body to come online, thinking 'my mom is gonna kill me if I'm stuck like this,' etc. I couldn't do anything at all and was scared witless. I managed to send my body here a command that came out as the word 'help', and my guide said:
'This is what it's supposed to be like. Just relax and enjoy it'

Then 'it all started laughing'. I was trying and trying to do this thing that was apparently impossible. When I realized how silly that was, it was like every entity in the universe started clapping for me at once and welcoming me back. The clapping had a rhythm, and the rhythm was a word - a very long word, or perhaps it was only LOVE, as all I can see of it now is corners of letters being 'unzipped by us-elves.' I turned my attention to unzipping. There was a feeling like this word was made of magic fire, inextinguishable, that everyone unzipping it was ancient beyond imagination and had known one another for epochs longer that our universe's existence, that many of us had formed associations stretching back longer than memory and that the only important thing (there or here) was to find them, that communication was taken care of for us. The 'I' I know had no existence at all, and the entity operating there was some kind of composite energy, a node in a web. The isolation was still almost unbearable, and it felt like I was screaming in the back of my mind the entire time, but knowing that the Others were there (and feeling my guide next to me in spirit throughout) was enough and I was a little sad when I felt myself clap-clap-clap-clapping back down to this speed.

My guide again said that I was handling the news very well, explained what my corpse had done (tried to move on hands and knees once before returning to my bag, asked for assistance), and told me more about his own adventures. As fascinating and revelatory as they are, he knows too many people, so I won't share his heartsong without his permission. I told him I thought I would need a long break and probably would need some courage before I could go there again, and he nodded. This is not a recreational experience. It is the most intense thing that can ever happen to a person.

Anyway, the next day, I went to the big peace celebration. Others could feel me coming, and I them; we exchanged hugs and silly blessings and time together, and very soon I was half-inside, as usually happens to me on that day. We called out a rainbow, for the third year in a row, and everyone cheered for everyone else and themselves (because, when we find the Others and touch the word, we realize that we're going to achieve 'whatever it is we're doing,' but that it will take such a long time that it will take longer than time, and so loving one another is the energy behind the effort). I left feeling so amazing that I found my guru - actually, found him in his tent and still very much inside peruvian torch, so I found him again when I felt him come back (believe it, I got there less than 30 seconds after he came out) and told him I wanted to go in again. He looked me close in the eyes and said 'ok.' I gave him an hour to work back down to this reality, and then sussed him out again.

This time, it was daylight, and we were lying near a stranger's tent, he in his cactus and I in my sage. We talked for a while first and agreed that we needed to see each other in Babylon and keep working together. He asked about the setting, but apart from my worries I could feel that it would be fine, so he loaded my dose and I went in. (for the second time, I cashed the pipe; he seemed to think this was significant as he had chosen the amount using subtle guidance.) This time was nearly the same: I woke up, I couldn't do anything at all, I was scared, I remembered, there was clapping, there was the word and the unzipping. This time, though, I wasn't scared by it for very long, and just set myself to work while trying to twist my consciousness around so that I could see my guru directly in that world. I was eventually successful, and he told me later that he'd been sitting with me looking around when he suddenly felt himself sucking in. We were looking around together, talking slowly and calmly about it, for about 20 minutes. That day was full of energetic shouting, drumming and clapping, and the sense of its being somehow 'for me' and 'as encouragement' even as it was entirely some spontaneous thing in their own world was palpable.

After what felt like a million years, I began to slowly clapclapclap-out, and this time the clap-laugh-bang-fire unfolded like a book into this reality. My guide and I talked for a long time, then hugged for a long time, then parted ways for now. My sense is that this life is a practice round or a metaphor for the Real Reality, and everything about it except loving one another seems completely silly to me now. Words have this magical laughing quality in the back of my head - each one is a joke and a challenge, 'wait'll you guys hear THIS one!' because of the way I came back in the last time, because I could see the clapping slowing into pages and the pages slowing into this reality, I don't believe I will ever forget again. I can see the magic reality in people's eyes, around everything living, in the way things move. I can hear it behind every music. Sometimes it even happens with what people say, like they said one thing for this world and one thing for the Real Reality at the same time and I heard both. All this comes from a mushroom trip that only took me 1/10 as far as salvia, but since I met salvia it is almost like this world is going half-transparent.

It is the strongest medicine. It is so strong it is scary at first, or maybe just leaves me alone until I'm ready (I smoked salvia leaves a year or more ago, in high quantity, with no effect at all). I think - all my thoughts 'about it,' and everything is 'about it,' feel half-channeled, but they're still my thoughts and prone to being bullshit - it is something I build a relationship to, probably over my whole life, at first with careful guidance and a very strong personality that is already half-aware of the Real Reality. But it is a very, very good thing. Salvia is a good thing, every entheogen is a good thing, recalling the Real is a good thing, but most of all loving one another as both the means and the end of the Big Mission is an amazing super-good thing. We have to find our closest nodes, love every node unflinchingly, mean love all the time. I think I know why we all look so weird - it is to be recognizable, to draw attention to the higher self, to be silly and beautiful enough about this life that Others will notice right away and make contact that carries through on several levels. If we only say a word to one another in this world, it's working.

Just words, just words, they're right and they're not, they're meaningful and complete poppycock. You 'can' trace them back into Me if you have seen It through any vehicle, and probably otherwise you wouldn't be reading this, so HI THERE! I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE DOING SO GOOD! I HOPE WE CROSS AGAIN SOON! And for heaven's sake, don't waste or end this life, it won't save us any time. Advice: be careful and deliberate and industrious about making yourself and the world the spectral, shimmering vision of the higher world! We will overcome if we come over, hey hey, hey hey :)

Lovepeat

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 15862
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 3, 2005	Views: 5,686
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Guides / Sitters (39), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)