Released My Crappy Subconscious
MDMA (Ecstasy) & Tianeptine
Citation: Mr. Schiz. "Released My Crappy Subconscious: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) & Tianeptine (exp17631)". Erowid.org. Mar 3, 2008. erowid.org/exp/17631
DOSE: |
repeated | oral | MDMA | (pill / tablet) |
Pharms - Tianeptine |
BODY WEIGHT: | 130 lb |
Although i had problems b4 now i am really really bad. I am paranoid as shit, i think im weird as fuck and cannot communictae with ppl properly, am spaced as shit, nothing seems real, i have no motivation for anything, my memory sucks, cant get angry or cry even though i should, if someone in my family died right now i doubt i could cry.I just feel like i have emotions but my body wont let them out anymore and this feels like a gutting sensation in my stomach constantly. I see no point in living except to wait and see if i get better. The only reason i havent killed my self yet is because i havent the motivation or the energy. I used to be good at art which i was going to do as a career but because of pills - i have forgotten how to, i just cant do it anymore.
I think mdma realesed my crappy subconscious into my conscoius thoughts. The situations where my heart used to race now i simply sit and take the pain in my brain as evil thoughts. Apparently for ppl like me in takes between 6 months to a year to see 'significant improvements' but not recovery.
Even though it has done all this stuff to me i do beleive it has role with psychologists. The only positive from all this is that it has changed my personality from a shy scared person to a paranoid person who looks shy but dosent feel shy - i am myself but only in my head, i cant express myself - for some reason it feels painful.
There is actaully some medication I use to reverse mdma depressions - i used to use it until the online pharmacy closed. It is called 'tianeptine'. Instead of dulling my emotions like prozac does, it tends to amplify them. Tianeptine worked for me.
Exp Year: 2002 | ExpID: 17631 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Mar 3, 2008 | Views: 25,334 |
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MDMA (3), Pharms - Tianeptine (466) : Unknown Context (20), Post Trip Problems (8), Hangover / Days After (46), Depression (15), Addiction & Habituation (10), Health Problems (27) |
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