DOSE:

oral

AMT

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

260 lb

Drugs have been a part of me for around two years now. What I experienced two days ago inevitably, changed me forever.

Life is something we cannot give, or take from someone. It is built into us. You cannot tear the soul from someone, or steal their psyche. Every individual is a temple of our own imagination; reality, thought, consciousness, being. It would be a waste of time to babble on about my feelings about life at this point, so I'll save you the time and maybe teach you something.

I have been using AMT/Foxy for a few months now. I have had around 5 experiences with AMT, and many more with Foxy. To me, AMT was a gift. For 12 hours on any certein day, my mood would be lifted, and I would appreciate everything around me. I just sit here and think about that saying: 'You never know what you had, until you lose it'

We had just started school a few weeks ago, andour group of friends have already been coming to school under the influence of various drugs. My girlfriend was always against my drug habits, and would always pester me about them. I guess now, she just gave up or something. I loved her with all of my heart, and truely believed we had something special, something that would last an eternity. I never knew that my utter stupidity would destroy the one thing dearest to me in my life. My girlfriend (we'll call her K) started watching what I was doing. She began to get interested in drugs and how they affected me. She was always open-minded and creative, she was just so perfect.

As she became more and more interested, the topic of trying drugs herself, came up. Since our families, or lack-of, had their differences, we would only see each other at school most of the time. Though I thought about the consequences of trying a substance at school for the first time, I remember saying to myself 'Bad stuff only happens to other people'. I just wish I could turn back time.

Meanwhile, I was selling Foxy/AMT at school to close friends, and was pulling in a nice amount of cash, which however, didnt weigh out the risk. But, I kept doing it. I guess I found some type of thrill or exhiliration in my endevours- or maybe I was just stupid.

We set a 'date' for K's first Fox experience, and that day me, K, and F (close friend) came to school and dosed on Foxy. Me and F had 15mg since we were experienced, and I gave K 12mg. All in all, she loved it. It was probobly one of the best things to happen to her in a long time. I guess I felt proud of myself for making her so happy, but on the other hand, her excitement worried me.

Regardless, a week later we had a brilliant idea. I was going to let her try some AMT, which was sure to raise her spirits and give her what she needed. We were both very excited.

The plan was to dose at 5 in the morning by giving F and K a drink to take home the night before, so they could dose the next morning before school. The night before I gave them the doses, I talked to my brother, J, who was in sense, the 'drug-lord'. He handled the chemcials, I sold them. I told him what I needed and I went to bed, he told me he would put it in the drinks and refridgerate them.

It was no doubt he was tired after a day of work, but he assured me that I could get some sleep and he would leave them out for tomorrow.
The next morning I woke up and dosed. The 40mg (or so I thought) of AMT was mixed in orange juice so it wasent that bad of a taste. An hour after I dosed I started feeling the beginning effects, so I started getting ready for school. When it was time to go, I walked outside of the house and immediatly new something was different. As I walked in the school my movements were fluid, like I was walking under-water. At that point I knew something was up. I had taken AMT before, and it was never anything like this.

When I met F and K in the morning, I asked them how they were doing and they said they were alright. I asked my girlfriend is she liked it, and unlike her response with Foxy which was 'Oh my God, YES!' she just said 'Its okay, I guess' which kinda worried me, but I didnt think anything of it.

Here is when I noticed something was very wrong. It was becoming increasingly intense around 2 hours into it, and I told F and K that this is 'normal' and J probobly gave us a few mgs extra.

I walked with K to her classes for the first 2 periods. Second period she told me something was wrong. I asked her how she was doing, and if she liked it, and she said no. This got me very upset. I started really worrying, fearing she was going to have a bad trip. She lied to me obviously, and told me she was fine and It's okay, and even told me 'It's Fun!' after she knew I was getting real worried.

After she left for her next class, I calmed down, and just thought that AMT wasent powerful enough to excite a full-blown bad trip, and I thought she would just kinda 'roll out of it', so I stopped worrying and destined myselfed to have a great time!

The next period was the peak. At that point I knew I was on something much more than just 40mg. I was getting incredible closed/open eye visuals and a lot of tracers, which didnt bother me. I felt that anything in the world could go wrong, and I would still be as happy as I was at that point. I was having the best trip of my life.

During 5th period, K's lunch period, I was walking down the hall to go to the bathroom, and I passed a school administrator that had one of those walkie-talkies on. It must have been God's will that gave me the urge to go into that hall and pass that administrator at that exact time. I heard over the walkie-talkie : ' (My girlfriend's full name) needs to be escorted out of the bullding'

I stopped dead in the hallway and the worst fear ran through my body. At first I thought it was a hallucination, but my better wits told me it was very, very real. I was totally panicked, I started walking around the empty hallways searching for some sign that this was really happening, but I didnt find one. I started thinking that maybe something happenened that didnt involve her tripping, but I blew that out of my mind. I was never so panicked in my life. I had no idea what to do. I started thinking that maybe this was a hallucination, but the fear still remained. From that point on to 6th period I was getting visuals of police officers, which I knew was a hallucination. I was very scared, I thought I was going to have a very bad trip.

During my lunch period I saw my friend who is drug-free, and I told him I was tripping and he asked how I was doing. I told him im fine but I think theres something wrong with Katrina, she might be hurt I dont know. He told me im tripping and to calm down. He treated me like a baby, like everything I was saying came from some insane person. I also saw a few of my other friends who know I was tripping, and know K very well. I talked to them and they told me they heard that something happened with K. This reassured my worst fear. Most of them told me they heard rumors about people telling them that 'K was rolling so hard that she was biting her lip so hard it was bleeding'. Others told me that something just happened to her. I was so scared.

I decided to leave the cafeteria and go out to the Courtyard and talk to my friend alone, and see if he could reassure me or something. Well, it just so happened that there was also one of those officials out in the courtyard, and yes he had a walkie-talkie on (This wasent out of the ordinary at our school). I started hearing words from the walkie-talkie, and then... the worst part... I heard them say my full name. I totally freaked out. My friend calmed me down and said I might have just heard it, but then they said it again and he heard it. We went back to the cafeteria and our group of friends started talking and I told them what happened and asked them what to do and all. They helped me out a lot (I was still very much tripping). I went through my school bag, pocket and everything and threw out everything I knew that had to do with drugs' all the notes from K that talked about us tripping, and even a dose container. It saved me A LOT of trouble cleaning my school bag.

I was never so nervous in my life. I walked to my last period class, but on the way there I saw a group of administrators in the hall. It was my grade-level administrator, the principal, two police officers, and the head of the district (this was High School, by the way). They immediatly told me to step into the office. This was the end of me. I was never lower. I tried to remain calm but it was hard. They brang me to a room and I sat down with them. They told me im in a lot of trouble. Of course, I played dumb thankfully. They started asking me if I gave anything to K today. Of course, I denied it. Then they started telling me about K, which blew my mind. They told me that during 5th period, her lunch period, she flipped out totally and she had to be takin to the hospital and restrained. They told me she was in very bad shape. Again, I denied all of their accusations that I was involved.

They then looked into my eyes, which were ALL pupil. They asked me if I was under the influence of anything, and they tried to 'fool' me into cracking uder pressure. They messed with my mind, trying to get me to admit to it, but luckily my defenses were up. At that point they called my house. I live with my grandmom, so thats who they talked to. They told her that I was probobly under the influence of something, and that I gave some kind of drug to my girlfriend, and shes hospitalized. My grandmom rushed to school, and blah blah blah.

Bottom Line: Since I denied everything, and when they searched my schoolbag they found nothing, I was set free. They ddint suspend me or anything (at least not yet), but I had to go for a drug test (urine/blood).

-------- Epilouge ----------

It is now Sunday as im writing this. K is out of the hospital, but the establishment she lives in is prohibiting me from ever seeing or talking to her again and the school expelled her, Im never going to see her again. Depending on the drug test results, which arent looking to good, I might be suspended or worse. Im assuming that there is a search warrent for the house, so my brother is getting rid of the chems. Im not sure if the establishment K lives in will press charges and if I will have to go to court to defend myself.

I found out today WHY this happened.

My brother, J, gave us all EXTREMELY high doses. It was a mistake, he was tired and didnt measure right. Im guessing from what he told me, that me and F were on somewhere above 60mg, and K was on 45mg, HER FIRST TIME!

I just wish I could turn back time, to recover.....
my love, lost.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 17806
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Apr 8, 2003	Views: 19,306
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AMT (7) : School (35), Relationships (44), Second Hand Report (42), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Difficult Experiences (5)