DOSE:

insufflated

Methamphetamine

[Erowid Note: After a request to re-review this report, our review crew consulted with methamphetamine users and we agreed that the report is clearly exaggerated. Although it does communicate some elements of the obsessive, self-reinforcing effect of snorting methamphetamine, the words and phrases used should be considered to be reflective of the same kind of ego-inflation and exaggeration that is typical of the high dose / frequent use of this class of stimulant.

The absurd paranoid delusional ideation is also a little over the top, but does communicate a flavor of the types of thoughts and moods that accompany extreme sleep deprivation and over stimulation some people experience when using long acting stimulants for days in a row with no sleep.

Although we have decided to continue to include this report in our public archives, the reader should note that reviewers regard this as a somewhat humorous, hyperbolic rendering of the overuse of methamphetamine.]



Note from Author: I originally posted this on everything2.com

DO NOT take this lightly. This is NOT intended to be a joke. I realize this is long but please read through it. It was tough for me to share such a personal experience with everyone here, and I hope it was not in vain.

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Update: I have received numerous responses to this writeup claiming that it has prevented many people from ever considering using methamphetamine. This is the greatest gift I could have ever imagined from writing this. Thank you to all of those people who messaged me. Please do not destroy your body with this drug. It may seem like a good 'high' or idea at the time, but the consequences are severe. Regardless of whether you want to use it for recreational (i.e. to study all night for an exam) or as a drug of choice, it is a bad decision entirely. I wish this writeup could reach a wider audience. Thank you!
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I was 15 years old and a freshman in high school. I was a gothic freak at the time (i.e. pierced lip, all black clothing, jet-black hair, crucifix rings). Regardless of this fact, I was a virgin of many things. Ignorance was my downfall when I now look back at that time of my life.

I smoked pot, drank alcohol, and performed other typical rebellious teenage activities. A 'friend' introduced me to speed and claimed that it was 'awesome'.

The first month of doing crystal meth I was actually a perfect 'A' grade student. I lost my balance of weight that I detested and got most work done within a fraction of the time (i.e. cleaning at home). This drug was a heaven-send!

Meth was good. I LOVED it! I loved the burning from snorting it! I loved the drips that would come! And the rush of that euphoric dopamine! Ah, so good! I ended up doing more and more of it every day.

Let me fastforward after 3 months of continuual use...

A certain day I remember vividly:

8:00am: Let's make us a little line of speed here...maybe a little bigger...just a little more...ah! there. *SNIFF* Ah Yes! Is that an itch I feel? I can't find the itch, oh well. Did my stuffed animal on top of my computer just hiss at me?

11:30pm(that night): Ah, it's so fun to play with crushed meth crystals and make pictures out of the lines. Look Everyone: I made the first initial of my name. *SNIFF* Ah yes! Good: Leno is on TV, let's watch him!

11:34pm(4 minutes later): I guess I could do a little more of it, since there's so much left after all. Let's draw out a line. *SNIFF* Ah! Wooh, that was a good one. Wait...who do I hear talking? Is someone talking to me? Oh, that's just Jay Leno on TV. Man my heart is really pounding, I want to do something...I know: Let's cover my room with posters.

11:40pm(7 minutes later): It sure is a long night. Let's see if I can snort two lines at a time for fun. *SNIFF* *SNIFF*. Wooh! Now the room is spinning a little. Look at my beautiful pictures on the wall...oh my, wait...they aren't beautiful! They look like pictures in a hidden cellar of a serial killer! How did those get up there? I better take them back down and put up some music posters or something instead. Geez, my face sure is hot.

11:50pm(10 minutes later): I have an idea! Let's see if I can make a line of meth as long as my table and sniff it off. *SNIFF* oh yeah there we go. Wait!!! Where's the happy rush that gets me high? It's gone! Is the washing machine going because I can sure hear the 'wishy-washy' sounds somewhere. What the hell is Jay Leno talking about? Did he just say my name and look at me? Let's turn the TV off, he might see us in here doing bad things.

12:30am(40 minutes later): My room seems to be getting smaller. Why do I feel so hot? Where is that damn itch and WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I ITCH IT? Is there a spider crawling on me? Better take a shower. But first,let's have a line...just a small one. *SNIFF* Nah! That wasn't enough, maybe a little more *SNIFF* There we go! Shower Time.

12:45am(15 minutes later): Who's talking? Do you hear that too? I turned the TV off so where is it coming from? Let's go check my email on my computer since I have nothing to do. Nope, no emails. Look, that FUCKING TOY ANIMAL KEEPS STARING AT ME ON TOP OF MY MONITOR. He knows something. 'What do you know?'. I don't trust him, let's go burn him outside with some kerosene so he can never tell on us.

1:30am(45 minute later): God I am tired. Why do my fingers look blue? Let's do some more meth and wake up a little since I have high school in the morning. *SNIFF* ah! Nope, didn't work. *SNIFF* ah! Now I'm alert. Is my chest shaking? Why do the colors on my computer monitor look blended together. Better open it up and fix it. Let's unplug it and begin fixing. Where are the tools? Oh wait, I could use a little more meth. *SNIFF* there! Let's carry the monitor down to the table and begin working on it there. Why does it feel like I'm walking on clouds? I'm getting kind of dizzy I better sit down and put the monitor next to me. Is a phone ringing? I better get up and go answer it. Hmm, no calls. Wait who was that? 'Who are you?' Let's follow him and see where he is going. Oh, it's just a box in the living room. I'm starting to get tired again, I'm gonna go lay down.

6:00am(morning): Why is my bed shaking? These fucking pillows are making me itch! Oh, it's my chest that is shaking. Do I have a fever? Let's look in the mirror in the bathroom and see how I look for school. Oh shit, look at my eyes. They have sunken in. Let's put some of that girlie-makeup stuff on them to cover the dark circles. Ah! I can wear sunglasses too. Damn, I need to take another shower, what bug is crawling on me? Let's first do some more meth to wake up. *SNIFF* *SNIFF* *SNIFF* *gasp and cough* There we go. Let's get undressed and in the shower. What the hell is on my white shirt? Is that blood? I just felt it hit my toe. Let's look in the mirror. Fuck, my nose is bleeding. What's that strage red line going from my nose to my forehead and then to my right ear? Is that a blood vein. It looks like an inflammation.Why do I look so far away in the mirror? Oh well, time for shower.

7:30am: Time for school. Let's start walking. It's raining outside but I'm so damn hot. What is wrong with me? Am I sick? Let's run into a restaraunt bathroom and do some more meth to wake up more. *SNIFF* Now let's get back on our way. Why is that FUCKING car driving near me? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?!? Quick! Hide behind that tree! Ok, good they are gone. Let's pull out a cigarette and have a relaxing smoke. Ah Nictotine! Oh My, what beautiful trees in the area. GODDAMN IT! Why is the sun so fucking bright? I'll put some sunglasses on. Did that bush I walked past just shake? 'Yes?' Nope it didn't do anything so I guess not. Hey! Did you see someone's window shade just close? They were watching you. Yes they were. They are getting on the phone now and calling someone to arrest you. Let's get out of here and start running.

8:05am(starting class): Everyone in here is staring at you. Is that guy talking to you behind you? 'What did you say?'. Why did he look at me weird and say 'Nothing'. Oh no, here comes the teacher, he'll spot me on meth for sure.

Noon(lunch break): Let's do the last of the speed in the bathroom real quick so that I can stay awake through my next class. That sure seems like a lot, oh well, *SNIFF*

1:00pm(Last Class Starts): I'm feeling really dizzy.
Teacher: 'Hey, are you still with me? This will be on your quiz next week'
'Yeah..I..well...I..eerr..cuz..the...making...no I mean...writing letter...I mean for a friend...which I will give to them later...not now...but I mean after class.'
Why did everyone stop talking and look at me? Oh god NO! They all know!
Teacher: 'Are you OK? You don't look too good'.
I hear a comedian telling standup jokes. 'HA HA HA that's funny'.
Why is everyone staring at me? 'WHAT?!?'
Teacher: 'Do you need to see the nurse?'
Nurse, yes. 'Yes, the pass...nurse...pass for the nurse...I mean to see the nurse would be good yes.'
He hands me a pass to go see her. Ok, let's get all my stuff together and get out of here. NO!!! My legs will not work. Why is my head humming? Everything is going in trails ... and getting ... getting really dark...

I woke up on a stretcher being pushed into an ambulance.

EMS Guy1: 'What did you take? Can you see my fingers? What did you take?'

Me: 'Taking it all. Did I finish my letter to my friend? I forgot to sign it. Where are we going? Am I in class?'

EMS Guy2: 'He's out of it. He probably had a stroke'

EMS Guy1: 'Yeah. Probably on meth. His blood pressure is high and his temperature is lethal. Take him to (blank) hospital'



I had a stroke. Actually, I have had 3 minor strokes. So few for age 20 huh?

Crystal Meth is not something to fuck with. I started when I was 15 and stopped around 17. For those two years, I did it daily...and alot of it. The shit I've seen would be something from the movie The Cell or Hannibal. I have had many friends, now very few. Not due to drugs, but because they have literally exploded inside their little garage meth labs. How about one of my friends who is now completely bed-ridden from being in an explosion and living with acidic scars, and brain-dead due to the use of the drugs? They have it lucky I guess. Some of my other friends are not even alive any longer from overdoses (leading to lethal CNS problems)

Listen (and I'm talking to you younger kids in high school/middle school). Don't fuck with Methamphetamine. I'm 20 years old and only did it for 2 years and have to take heavy doses of blood pressure lowering pills daily(when you stop meth your pressure doubles almost...not a myth, a fact of long-term use), valium(I have symptoms like parkinsons for the rest of my life), aspirin(to avoid a heartattack), and many other pills no one my age should be taking. My liver is shot, my kidneys can be compared to that of a mummy's and my brain is pretty much fried. I was a highly intellectual kid and was hoping to be a scientist or something some day. I am now a computer programmer and UNIX/Linux Admin and struggle hard. I cry on those late nights when I remember the shit I did to myself. I have to read chapters in books twice just to remember the first paragraph. I forget names and numbers from things I learned the day before or even that same day earlier. My body is riddled with prescription drugs in attempt to naturalize my body. I get to take all these pills for the rest of my life. I have to avoid physical exertion when at all possible due to the sad tendency that I may have another stroke or cardiac arrest. I can no longer feel happy anymore. All the dopamine receptors in my brain have been pruned back as far as they can be. Imagine that thrilling feeling you get when you get a new girlfriend, car, present, or win something...and not being able to feel the 'high' that accompanies it.All of this is because of my ignorance when I was younger.

The reason why I am asking the younger teens out there to please reconsider getting into this drug is for your own safety. I could go on and on about what has happened to me in detail, but I doubt that will help stop you. So you smoke speed? Great, you get to crystalize the cilia in your lungs. And you think smoking a carton of cigarettes a day is bad? You prefer to sniff the meth do ya? You'll get a nice showtime piece like the right side of my nose with the hole decayed away on the side from all the fucking bleach and acetone in that shit. Like to whistle through your nose when you breathe since you have no nasal membrane left? Are you laughing? That's fine. Laugh all you want.

But in any case, just please remember what you read here when being presented with meth by a friend.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 18679
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 6, 2002	Views: 36,961
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Methamphetamine (37) : Various (28), Post Trip Problems (8), Overdose (29), Addiction & Habituation (10), Health Problems (27), Retrospective / Summary (11)