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Warm Feeling of Happiness
MDMA (Ecstasy)
Citation:   Atman. "Warm Feeling of Happiness: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp22866)". Erowid.org. Oct 2, 2007. erowid.org/exp/22866

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
0.5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
  T+ 1:00 0.5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT: 60.3 kg
I was at a house party of a friend. One of my friends had bought a fair quantity of pills and was sharing them out. The pills were hexagonal in shape was a capital E indented on them. Being epileptic I was slightly cautious about entering into the MDMA experience. I had heard about non-epileptic people having fits of taking pills. Yet my gut feeling was that it would be all right. I always listen to my gut feeling as its the only thing you can really trust amidst all the propaganda and besides it had always been right when I had to make various decisions of weather to take pot, salvia and smoke MDMA. Therefore I would listen to it now.

However I thought I’d still be a bit cautious and so I decided to take half a pill and take it from there. After an hour nothing out the ordinary had taken place. So I took the other half. After half an hour I began to experience the come up. Everything around felt very intense. All of a sudden I was very wake and my eyes were wide open as if I had now seen the light. I found myself having to scale my surroundings to adjust to this new place. At times the intensity made up slightly paranoid and I thought I might have a fit. I told someone sitting next to me that this was my first pill and he said ride the high. These were the words I needed to here. I realised that if I rode the high, the paranoia would go away.

Then I was engulfs by this warm feeling of happiness. I was in a room surrounded by beautiful people. Everything was perfect. I smile normally to show that I am happy but this time I was smiling because I was happy. I felt a great closeness to all the people in the house as if we were all part of something greater, beyond human understanding. I wanted to go round and hug everyone around me. Time had stopped. There was no a past or future anymore but I existed in a moment within space and time. And a beautiful moment it was. Every aspect of it, the people, the surroundings all seemed to fit perfectly together.

The music playing was drum and bass. In a sober state I find its beat infectious and can not help but move to it. On MDMA this was more so. As I entered the peak I became one with the music. I couldn’t help but dance endlessly to its infectious rhythms. It didn’t matter that no one else was dancing. My ego was gone and I was truly free to dance without worrying what others thought of me and so I dance away. My body seemed to move naturally to the beats with no effort needed at all. I was charged up. And while I danced I began to feel that my body was not me. I was in fact a soul existing inside a body. My body was not what defined me as a self.

One of my friends wished to go for a walk. This is a usual occurrence at parties and most of the time I refuse to go into the freezing cold. But this time I agreed to go as I was sweating and egoless. But as I entered the outside I began to regret doing so. If as if I had left the beautiful moment behind to enter this dark strange unknown world. I had a longing to return to the house. I could also feel my body slowing down. As we returned to the house I was on the come down. It was feeling of where did all that energy go. I sat down on the sofa and every attempt to stay awake failed and I fell into a deep sleep. Apart from a few brief moments of paranoia to begin with, the experience was wholly a positive one.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 22866
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 2, 2007Views: 5,742
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MDMA (3) : Music Discussion (22), First Times (2), Large Group (10+) (19)

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