DOSE: T+ 0:00		smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)
T+ 0:05	2.1 g	oral	Syrian Rue	(ground / crushed)
T+ 0:45	3.5 g	oral	Mushrooms	(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

I've done mushrooms a 'handful' of times and never had any ill effects and enjoyed the experiences, except the last time when I did a quarter oz. before going to school. INANITY! This is the only classic hallucinogen I've done. I've habitually smoked pot and its resinous derivatives, naturally. I've done the stupid things like take 50 100mg pills of Ephedrine w/ Guaifenesin, black out from too much alcohol a couple of time, drink too much tequila on 20 25mg Ephedrine pills. Then I stumbled upon Salvia Divinorum...whoops...my world exists where?!? I've smoked the 10x extract a few dozen times, maybe more. Every time it unfurled another part of the story. Then I made the 20x extract...aaaah! I was scolded by the Salvia people - too far too soon. It's like going to school. I can only handle so much.

My OEVs on Salvia are always pure energy (aka shadow people) and I remember that type of vision from meditation. I've never seen auras while meditating, normally, or on Salvia. I see white energy, which is somehow different. Salvia brings me to another reality, where everything is energy. Entire worlds have that hazy white outline in every structure. Nobody talks, for there is no need. I can hear their thoughts and that is the best part about that world. I completely understand without the error of language. They aren't even thoughts, it's just a complete understanding.

With continual use of Salvia I've somehow 'unlocked' a door in my brain to achieve a greater sense of existence. It somehow has given me the feeling I exist in two realities at once. I'm aware of my natural surroundings more and I feel good, even without use. I feel Salvia has allowed me to work through all the tensions inside from the day or even buried from years ago by forcing me to deal with them. I can easily relax or meditate without hassle. I can think of nothing and everything at the same time. It has an eerie relation to Zen philosophy.

Salvia's effect on other highs...
Marijuana takes me places I've never been. I trip hard and hallucinate like I do on Salvia but I'm in more control and it comes in waves. All I really need is a drag or two and I can't really feel my body anymore. The last time I smoked more weed and I began playing with energy balls - my 'chi'. It grew so big I could no longer handle it and then had the urge to put into my head. I only got a little ways into doing that before I couldn't push it anymore. When I'm outside everything that is natural is just beyond beautiful. I can feel its energy and it's just lovely to see and feel.
When I can't feel my body I basically meld with whatever I'm just about passed out on. Weed is no longer a recreational drug for me because of this.

Now for the reason I'm writing this.
Here's the short story:
Leaf wasn't strong enough->bought some extract (too much money) -> decide to extract a couple of kilos -> holy shit that's crazy -> pass it around -> hey customs is holding my 10kg wtf? -> hey I've got a great idea...let's do mushrooms again with some Syrian Rue, I hear it's supposed to make that stronger -> dear fucking god!!!

Dose:
T:0 - couple tokes off a jay
T:5 - swallowed 2g of Syrian Rue, that I crushed with a mortar and pestle, in capsules
T:45 - munch on 1/8 oz of some good looking mushies (gold caps/blue stems)

I started out feeling pretty high that day as it was: hangover. I didn't eat anything from 12pm and started the weed at 10:30pm, ingested the Syrian Rue shortly after, waited 40 minutes, munched on the 1/8 of mush for 7 minutes - mmmmmmmmm. I was typing on my computer until 11:30pm and tried to relax. My heart sped up past the point of anxiety and I started to get a little paranoid. I moved downstairs and I tripped out in my friend G’s room for a bit then decided I'd probably feel more comfortable in my room as it started to come on more pronounced. I laid down in the dark on my bed feeling quite anxiously tired. The mushrooms started to kick in. The reason I know they are starting is not the feeling but an electric shock that starts from my lower spine and jets up to my brain. It sounds like bees flying by my ears. I really don't know what the hell that is but this time it was way stronger than previous times. BTW, the last time I did mushrooms was a year and a half ago and I've never tried Syrian Rue or any MAOI before. This was very stupid to not test this out on the small level, but from what I read it seemed reasonable.

It started with classic geometric designs, but they weren’t interesting. My thoughts started to speed up and the electric shocks increased with intensity and frequency; with each one I became higher - this is normal but not to this degree of intensity. I start thinking like a mad man. I start with simple revelations that seemed so trivial before about my existence. It started to speed up and with every epiphany an electric shock followed and then all at once I unlocked a gate and a flood of knowledge came at me and I had the biggest surge of energy pass through me for what seemed to be a minute - probably only a few seconds. It was a domino/snowball effect. I came to understand the balance of the universe and how human ideas and thoughts were the imbalance due to their imperfection. It seemed to make sense that this was derived from quantum mechanics with how randomly probable they can be.

Almost as soon as I understood this, I felt like I didn't have a shape and saw the universe in its entirety; moving right along at breakneck speed I became a tiny microscopic view of the inside of my body. I saw what the toxins were doing to my cells and I could hear their screams and pain. I felt the mushrooms start taking over my body and that's when I started to panic because my body was yelling at me. I called for G as I told him beforehand that he may need to sit, it was about 1am (I love Sunday night/Monday morning experiments with hallucinogens). I headed to the bathroom from super stomach sickness as he made his way upstairs. Sitting on the can feeling sick is great, especially when you're too fucked up to care whose ass was there. I think I sat there for about half an hour in fright. That's probably why I only took a piss and sweated like I was in a sauna.

I get out and plant myself in a chair in the kitchen. G was there and thank goodness he was. He helped keep me grounded to this reality. The sickness faded and we chatted. The OEVs were insane. They quilted reality. By quilted I mean there were patterns in each part of the quilt and it bubbled out while the stitching kept that reality from being torn apart. All the hallucinations didn't seem to matter. I was thinking far too much and was concentrated on anything dealing with metaphysics - well I did when the Syrian Rue waves hit me. I enjoyed the feeling of highness I was in and laughed for awhile. There were some really intense parts when the rue hit me where I could only breathe in and out of my nose hoping not to die from the intensity. G, being an experienced sober observer, reassured me for probably 2-3 hours that I was going to be alright. I started to think how dumb I was for testing out this combination and all the consequences it could have had if it went wrong - just endless thoughts on that. Finally I snapped out of it and mushrooms were back in control.
My body was clenched for so long on the fact that I could be whisked away to a different reality, one where I'd never come back. It was at that time I began to understand that the living and dead coexist and all there is, is a thin veil between them. I saw a rip in the quilt and it kept getting bigger until I could fully comprehend what was going on. Then like magic I rose out of my body a few inches and became the objective view. However, I had three distinct views all interconnected: reality, rip in reality/dream reality, objective observer. When G left for a few moments here and there I felt the relationship of the three fade and I inched toward the rip in reality. I really don't think I could have handled that or what that other reality meant for my physical body.

Time passed incredibly slow. Hours were minutes. Tracers were everywhere. Conversation was here and there and still comprehensive. I started to feel as if I was melting and then the kitchen started melting. It was slow though and it didn't seem to bother me. Although when I felt my ear it frightened me at first because my ear is supposed to have a certain shape but it was mushy and huge as if it was turning into a mushroom. That's when I started getting crazy silhouetted CEVs of mushrooms chasing people and the picture stretched and warped smoothly like it was a wave and then mutated into other pictures that I have synonymous with Hollywood’s interpretations of these things. What came first the chicken of the egg in this case? I was thrown into 'Alice's Wonderland' and then G came back. G’s antics made me laugh and gave the trip a comfortable ease - why must peanut butter melt on toast in reality at such a perfect time: GIDDY! He said that my high made him high because I was so incredibly intoxicated and I’m guessing it spread from my chi to his and then to him.

I'm pretty sure I was borderline coma for awhile. I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head a couple of times when the rue waves hit me again. I had to stop talking during these waves. One of these waves was exceptional in that I seemed to go through each system of my brain and I was learning how they worked. I seemed to only implicitly understand it at the time so I naturally forgot and just know that it is somewhere still in my knowledge.

After feeling like I was on a different plane of existence, like I was a higher form of being, I came down a little bit and everything inside hurt. My stomach, my kidneys, my spine, my head. I relocated to the can at about 4 or 5am, taking full advantage of my ability to walk. I swear I thought I was going to shit or piss my pants. G left me for a bit because the majority of the peak was done but I was still going full out. I did the typical reflection thing and so from hilarity to sadness came the tears. I tore myself apart and then headed into changing society. Before the changeover, I felt the sadness of all the inadequacies of my existence. All the things I should've done and the amount of care I should have for everything. It really made me want to hug and love everybody. This is when I had thoughts about the second coming of 'jebus' and that it was me (this was something in my head telling me this, not the objective view)....hehehehhe... yeah right.

Now to rationalize that it was the thought that everybody could be 'jebus'. Everyone has the potential to love to that capacity, even if it is a mythical story. I loved everything and everyone to the point that someone like that could. Shortly, after I figured out a good way to change the world though. If people would just correct a problem with tolerance and a little nudge instead of a push then it'd be easier for people to love. It'd be easier for people to get along and have respect for each other. Understanding this concept and thinking it are really two different things. Also, understanding that this is by no means a quick solution is difficult too. There’s no way I could see this happening anytime soon. Eventually. You have to disconnect your brain to figure it out. Once you do that you'll realize that your body will take care of your brain and they aren't separate anymore. We still are stuck in the 'sum of the parts are greater than the whole' stage. We aren't by any definition a whole society or whole people. Like I said before it starts with self.


When I finally started to come down it just finished raining at about 9am-ish. I was still hallucinating and found that I could play around with the hallucinations like the squares on the linoleum. The mushrooms were swirling them around but I could control where they went and for about half a minute I had fun. I soon found boredom, put them back in place, and went on my merry way to sobering up. I came down really fast, almost by choice. That didn't happen for another hour. I finally cleaned myself up and just as I was about to leave the bathroom I noticed myself in the mirror. I must have lost all my fat from clenching and sweating. Not that it mattered but did I ever look wrecked. My stomach and kidneys ached. My lower back was a mess from sitting so long in one position. It's about 10 or 11am now and I try looking at stuff online because I'm too agitated and sick to sleep. That became uninteresting. I finally went sleep at about 2pm still feeling buzzed. I woke up at about 6pm and continued on until about 12am.

This was by no means a fun trip. It was so intense that I'm quitting all drugs and alcohol for almost half a year. I'm not too sure why it was so intense. There were too many factors to consider. It was so mentally and physically exhausting that I'm not sure I'd have been able to handle it if I was out of shape or think so much. It also helps that I have a mild case of insomnia. I don't need more than 4-5 hours of sleep to function. I'm slowly being cured of that ailment though. My stomach is still acting funny but it feels almost back to normal. I could hardly keep anything in my system for longer than a couple of hours. I'd say the peak had a peak for about 4-5 hours and the peak lasted for 10-11 hours and the total effects lasted about 24 hours.

I’m still having troubles figuring out why I did this. It’s not like I wanted to do this. It was almost mindless, as if I was meant to do it. I can say one thing for sure though, this was a defining moment in my life. If I crack and start doing drugs or alcohol before that half year is up, I have this inkling that my exploration of the mind will go nowhere. Patience is key, and I can’t rely on drugs to get me where I need to go. I need to work with this new awareness. It’s almost like how mushrooms unfold another part of the story, you just need to learn and move on. After that trip there’s no way I feel right abusing a drug as powerful as mushrooms.

Lao-tse
Tao Te Ching

Know the masculine,
but keep to the feminine.
Become a river
To all under heaven.
As a river flows,
Move in constant Virtue;
Return to the infant state.

Know the light,
But keep to the shadow.
Become a pattern
To all under heaven.
As a pattern repeats itself,
Act in constant Virtue;
Return to the beginning.

Know the high,
But keep to the low.
Become a valley
To all under heaven.
As a valley provides in abundance,
Give in constant Virtue;
Return to natural simplicity.
..................
The Great Way flows everywhere,
To the left and to the right.
The ten thousand things
Depend on it for life.
It nourishes them all,
Holding nothing back.
It accomplishes what needs to be,
But takes no credit.
It clothes and feeds all things,
Yet does not claim
To be their lord.
It asks for nothing in return.
It may be called Small.

The ten thousand things
Follow it,
Return to it.
Yet it does not claim
To be their lord.
Therefore, it may be called
The Great.

So too the wise may become great,
by becoming small.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 25036
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 27, 2004	Views: 10,984
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Syrian Rue (45), Mushrooms (39) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3)