Being Nothing At All
5-MeO-DMT
Citation: Traveler #042772. "Being Nothing At All: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp28754)". Erowid.org. May 4, 2007. erowid.org/exp/28754
DOSE: |
10 mg | smoked | 5-MeO-DMT | (powder / crystals) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 200 lb |
Setting:
Having given thought to this trip, I planned it as a private experience. Though some people I am friends with had offered to be sitters (yes, I know they are important with new psychedelics), I have only known them for a short time so would not feel 100% comfortable. The person I did ask outright refused to sit with me due to strong objections to drug use. But, I thought, since I was mostly a loner on previous journeys, why not this time also?
The location is my bedroom. A generally dark area, even though it is the middle of the day. I prepared my six-hour incense burner with a combination of 'flavors' that will alternate while burning: sandalwood, oriental, and patchouli. It has been burning for about 120 minutes now; the area is already nicely fragranced.
Lighting consists of five wall-mounted candle sconces, a lava lamp, multicolored rotating light, and a Christmas tree (yes, it’s already up). The background sound I’ve chosen is Relax With... Thundering Rainstorm, one of those relaxation CDs of natural sounds enhanced with subtle music. It will be playing softly on the stereo to fill the room as I have chosen not to use headphones. Other than my cat, the house is empty.
Mindset
I believe myself to be a person slightly skewed to the pessimistic side of life. I have always been this way, since about age 12, but I’ve come to deal with it. This time of my life, however, may not be the best time for a psychedelic trip; in July my department at work was 'reorganized' giving me a new boss. I’m not very assertive and in previous dealings with this person have developed a strong intimidated feeling from her. Since about mid-August, in order to deal with stress, I’ve been taking 10mg of Valium on a regular daily basis. Today, though, I am refraining from this substance, as I want to experience Harvey clearly.
In mental preparation for the experience, I started with a long, relaxing, hot shower, followed by reviewing a few of the basics about Harvey, and then by listening to the relaxation music for about 30 minutes. As I believe happens with most people, I have a slightly anxious feeling about trying something new. I am hoping this 30 minutes of soft music will help alleviate these feelings.
The Trip
Start time is 12:30pm on November 27, 2003. I inhaled the smoke as the crystals melted. It wasn’t too harsh, as I had read it might be, but had a somewhat pleasant and familiar taste. I laid back and held it as long as I could (maybe about 30 seconds?).
As I looked up from the floor, resting in the cubby of pillows and blankets I had made, I watched the motionless mirror ball above me and the lights, a combination of the flickering candles and rotating colors from the disco ball, as they reflected off the mirrors. I thought, 'I should have tuned it on!'
As I exhaled, the sound and colors blended; I felt as though I was the dancing lights and the music at the same time – then 'crash' as the recorded lightning’s thunder played – I felt like the lightning.
Then, maybe another minute or two later (time is hard to judge) as I closed my eyes, I thought, 'I’ve been here before...' But when? I knew. It was when I was younger, in 12th grade, when I had taken a lethal dose of Phenobarbital to prematurely end my life. But, it wasn’t 14 years ago, it was now; not the same feelings or thoughts, but a convergence in time? I believe I touched the same moment in space-time like in the movie 'The Philadelphia Experiment' where the same test of cloaking technology caused two separate events years apart to merge across time.
Then I opened my eyes after what felt like hours. I expected to still see the motionless mirrors above me, but I did not. While 'out' I had rotated within my cubby and was face-down where my feet had been. By the knots in my hair, I had apparently rubbed my head around the floor enough to tangle it, but I did not see signs of thrashing, as the pillows and blankets were still nicely arranged. I do not know if I made any noises.
It’s probably best my friend declined sitting with me as she most likely would have called 911 within five minutes. I looked at the clock and saw it was about 1:05pm; only some 35 minutes had passed. As I sat there, everything had that stop and go feeling, like a movie that has jumped the sprockets on the projector.
I noticed I had some cleaning to do. I guess breakfast was a bad idea. So, I went to take another shower.
By 1:30pm I was nearing baseline. I was able to walk without problems, think clearly, and write this report longhand on paper. It has taken some time to write (about 30 minutes, which seems long to me) so there is apparently some lingering effect.
All things being equal, I believe this was a good experience. No spiritual revelations (I’m not too big into spiritual things anyhow) and no fears of loosing myself. Just good emptiness - nothing bad, just being nothing at all for a short while.
Recommendations:
Try this, but be prepared. Do read about it and, if someone is to be with you, make sure he or she does so too. Harvey is powerful, but a friend. And, of course, don’t eat before hand.
Exp Year: 2003 | ExpID: 28754 |
Gender: Female | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: May 4, 2007 | Views: 8,150 |
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5-MeO-DMT (58) : Mystical Experiences (9), Music Discussion (22), First Times (2), Alone (16) |
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