DOSE:

150 mg

oral

Pharms - Venlafaxine

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

I have been on Effexor for three years.

Depression hit me hard at 14. I spent almost an entire year in my room. Lights out, crying, listening to depressing music until the diphenhydramine kicked in and put me to sleep. I was initially placed on Celexa, which did not help. In January of 2001, I was placed on Effexor.

For the first couple of years, I thought it was a miracle drug. I was what I saw as my 'true' self. I acted and felt much as I had before depression. A few mild side effects are a lower tolerance for alcohol, and sleepiness during the day if I take it in the morning when I was just starting on it.

However, Effexor withdrawal is hell. I am not a responsible person, and missing doses is not uncommon for me. However, I am never off of Effexor for long, because withdrawal effects are intolerable.

After the first missed dose, I do not feel much of a difference. After a second missed dose, I start to feel a bit dizzy, a bit nauseous. After a third missed dose, I feel completely disconnected from my surroundings. I get sweats, 'brain shivers,' blackouts, nausea, headaches. I frequently get quick, sharp waves of extreme dizziness from head to toe which last only a second but are very acute. I am extremely irritable and snap at anyone who tries to talk to me. Noises and voices cause my muscles to tense and I feel violent, like I need to hit something. I do not want to be touched.

I am generally a very affectionate, touchy-feely person; however, when not on my Effexor, someone's hand on my arm or a hug can make me feel violent. I am not a violent person. I cry frequently over little things, whether it is a comment someone makes to me or a sad song on the radio. Television commercials can make me cry. I am barely functional at work, as movement causes dizziness and I can barely think straight. I have a general feeling of confusion. It takes me a minute to process what is said to me. It feels as if my mind has slowed to a crawl. Simple tasks become difficult. I become very depressed, feeling worthless and completely alone. The feeling of being alone is extremely strong. I feel as if I do not belong anywhere.

I have never missed more than three doses. Whether the reason for missing them was because of lost medicine, need for a refill, or intentional, I can not tolerate the symptoms for very long, so I do not know how long it takes for them to go away.

My missing of doses is often intentional. After a period of time taking my medicine consistently, usually about 4-6 months, I start thinking too much about it. I think about the book The Giver, the movie Disturbing Behavior, the scene in Camazotz in the book A Wrinkle in Time - conformist societies. I feel as if the Effexor is controlling me and making me someone that I am not. I feel as if I can only be my true self, who I am intended to be, if I stop taking it. After a few days off of it, I am desperate to be back on it, and a few hours after taking it I feel better.

On one hand, I see this stop-start process as a kind of RESET, like I need to be reset every once in a while to feel my best. However, the truth is probably that the actuality of being off of Effexor is scarier than being on it, and I can not bear the withdrawal symptoms long enough to be free of it.

I will not deny that it is a very effective antidepressant. It has helped me for years.

My doctor started me on Celexa with free samples, which did not help. He then gave me free samples of Effexor. He has an Effexor clock on his wall, and an information poster on reasons to take Effexor. He recently diagnosed me as bipolar, and gave me free samples of Zyprexa. I did not take them, and I am going to start seeing a psychiatrist. I no longer want to trust my mental health to a general doctor who decides what I should take based on what he has free samples of.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 30147
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 19, 2006	Views: 13,011
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Pharms - Venlafaxine (191) : Medical Use (47), Not Applicable (38)