DOSE: T+ 0:00	10 mg	smoked	5-MeO-DMT	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:10	10 mg	smoked	5-MeO-DMT	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:20	10 mg	smoked	5-MeO-DMT	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:30	10 mg	smoked	5-MeO-DMT	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:40	10 mg	smoked	5-MeO-DMT	(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

Set:
Two friends tried 5-MeO-DMT, and had truly horrendous, frightening experiences. They'd seemed to go back and forth about whether I should or should not try it. Initially, when it was described to me, I was kind of horrified that they had tried it, and I said I'd never experiment with the substance.

I carefully considered their descriptions of their experiences though, and thought about what they seemed to get out of it. I read experience reports and whatever literature I could find on the substance and decided that my only real reason for not trying it was caution that I'd have an unpleasant experience. I decided that whatever there was to face, I should face it, and whatever I might learn from myself or the experience, whether good or bad, I shouldn't shy away from it.

I've been on a shamanic path for many years, and was familiar with 'altered states' long before I ever experimented with any entheogen or the like. When I've tried other things, I've felt that I was more or less prepared.

With this, I didn't feel prepared. But in a way, that's what I wanted. I wanted something that I would not be in control of, that I would not know precisely what to expect. I went into it knowing I might have a very bad experience, and I was somewhat nervous. But I'm pretty good at dealing with feelings of nervousness. During the day, I'd mentally attempted to prepare myself, and to ask either the universe or my subconscious to give me whatever I needed, good or bad.

Setting:
I went to a friend's apartment… a place with a good energy, where I feel very comfortable. It was just two good friends and I present. There was a comfy bed to fall back on after I inhaled.

Usage:
Several 8-10 mg doses of crystalline 5-MeO-DMT granules, rendered into vapor by heating over a lighter. (I felt like such a druggie!) The initial four doses did almost nothing. I wasn't sure I felt anything at all. The fifth dose was slightly larger, and that resulted in an unutterably powerful experience that came on within a single breath.

When I inhaled the first dose (rendered into smoke in a small glass pipe), about 8-10 mg…nothing happened. A friend who was sitting for me, had me wait a few minutes, and we tried again. The only thing I felt was that the nervousness vanished as we joked about how resistant I seem to be to some substances. We waited about 10 minutes in between doses.

It was not until the fifth dose, slightly larger than the rest, maybe 10 - 12 mg, that anything happened. I laid down on the bed, and felt…different. I remember that the sensation was so incredibly powerful…so far beyond anything and unlike anything that I'd felt before. But it was accompanied by absolute bliss. It wasn't a 'body' bliss, or even like a serotonin-happy feeling. It was as though nearly all of my mortal-ness had dropped away, leaving me only a tiny connection with which to speak.

I can't specifically describe the visual effect of what I was seeing. It was like a background to the actual experience…the only thing that I could say was that things seemed to beautiful during the experience, that I felt like closing my eyes was a waste, though there was no discomfort at doing so. I felt as though all the answers to things that I already had waiting in me, from my accumulated life and experience, were sitting right there, and I could understand them, put the pieces together.

For a few moments, I lost English. I couldn't speak in English (though it's my native tongue). Because I wanted to share a little of what I was experiencing though, I began, a moment later to speak. It was as if my body were acting on it's own to convey some of what I felt and was experiencing.

It was as though my body, my personality, were only a sort of window through which my larger soul viewed the world.

There was no sense that 'everything is an illusion' precisely…nor did I feel a 'one-ness with the universe' precisely. What I felt was the impression that at some point, everyone and everything had been created by some unknowable source, that we could no longer completely and directly perceive. I felt like everything that I was, was a smaller part of that whole pattern, like a piece of a greater image, containing the basic patterns that could be used, perhaps, to create the whole…but which did not at the moment contain that whole. I felt that there was no way of really knowing if I was 'right', or if what I was made of was really 'perfect' in origin…but I felt that whatever made me either knew what it was doing…or didn't…and that all I could do was trust and act as if it must have known.

And then, I had a feeling as if I'd stopped, for a few moments, being this mortal person that I am…that just the most refined, and larger parts of myself were active. It was like suddenly turning my head and realizing that the real me was this big divine being…not God, but created by some great Creator. Full of self-will and the ability to decide what was good, or right, or beautiful, and strive to make it part of creation. Okay…really, there are no words at all for what I felt. I read these and they're just not good enough. I've had difficulty describing this even to people close to me, because…well…you've heard the word 'ineffable'?

While it was happening, it partly seemed to go on forever, but at the same time, a part of me kept track of time pretty normally. I didn't feel any real time dilation or distortion had occurred. After I started to come down, I felt, for about 30 minutes, just really great. The only thing I can liken it to is MDMA, except that my brain felt incredibly clear. I felt so clear-headed about everything that I asked my friends to just go ahead and ask me something, anything. One of them asked me 'What's the meaning of Life?'

I replied that the meaning of life was that for whatever reason, we've developed the capacity to decide what is meaningful. That there are all sorts of possible things we can decide the meaning is, and that it's entirely up to us. That we are, in a way, if not co-creators of the universe, that we are creators of ourselves, and how we choose to define beauty. The meaning of life is what we make of it, and the purpose of life is what we choose to do with it.

After that, I felt a relatively rapid and pleasant return to normal thinking. At no time were there any unpleasant sensations.

One of my friends decided to try some again, himself…and said that he felt like his experience was just on the cusp where it could go bad.

After he was finished, I decided to see what would happen if I didn't leave well enough alone…and tried again. This was about an hour and a half after the first (working) dose. This time, I only had to try three times before it 'caught'. The sensations were very good, but this second time, it was more of a physical thing, rather than the mental/spiritual experience the first time had been. It felt, in a way, as if I'd already 'used up' whatever the experience was that I needed, and the second one was really just meaningless.

I have to mention that other people have described the taste of the vaporized 5-MeO-DMT as being bad-tasting. I thought it was sort of pleasant, and mild…and after I came down each time, my throat felt like I'd inhaled menthol vapors.

By about an hour after the second 'trip', I felt completely normal, with a normal amount of energy and clarity. Actually, slightly better than I usually am. It was as if I hadn't used any drug at all…there were less lingering effects than smoking a cigarette or having a cup of coffee. My body felt completely normal and pleasant, with no sense of weariness or artificial 'upness'.

I think that if I use this substance again (I almost certainly will, it was completely positive for me), I will try taking a larger single dose. It may be that part of why my experience was so good was that I did several 8-10 mg doses before it hit, and I was slightly affected by those before the slightly larger dose worked. I just want to see the difference.

The whole time, I had the feeling that this kind of experience could be perceived as incredibly bad, or go wrong easily. My experience was wonderful and invigorating, but it was so powerful that I would suggest that people not treat this substance lightly, or without respect. It didn't seem to me the type of thing you'd use for 'kicks' or entertainment. I'm pretty sure if I had done this lightly, or when I was younger, that I'd have ended up with the screaming-meemies. This is great stuff, but it's not a toy!

Exp Year: 2004	ExpID: 30499
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 27, 2005	Views: 10,111
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5-MeO-DMT (58) : First Times (2), Mystical Experiences (9), Small Group (2-9) (17)