DOSE:

repeated

oral

Alcohol

(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

I've been drinking pretty much every day for the past year. I first started (heavily anyway) when I met my now ex-boyfriend last May (2003) It started out as a few beers every night. I just wanted to be more confident around him/his friends/my friends but it's turned into more. I can go a day without a drink but I prefer not to- in fact since that day in May I've probably only gone a handful of days without a beer or two. Most often I at least attempt to get a buzz before passing out.

When I started out I could have 3 beers and get a buzz it now takes 8-9 (that's if I drink quickly) and I'm a girl who only weighs 120-125. I can out drink my friends under the table and hang with the best of them- something I used to be proud of until I stared being known as the 'alcoholic' among my friends.

I pretty much gave everything up for alcohol, school, friends, work, etc. Which is funny because in high school I was popular and did go to a few parties but I was never in any big trouble. I graduated as a member of nhs ranked 80/600, 3.8 gpa, with honors, and as a Texas Scholar.

I remember the first time I got drunk I was 17 and drank half a bottle of cheap whiskey with two friends. They ended up carrying me into my house and one of my friends who spent the night puked on my bed (as did I) and we both slept in it. I never did drink much after that just smoke pot.

My parents would go out of town maybe 2-4 times a year and I would always throw a party and all the left over alcohol would be stored in my closet, I never thought about drinking it, especially without my friends. But now a drink sitting there that long (I live alone now) is unheard of. But like I said earlier I gave up everything.

I spent all of my money (I also starting spending it on coke not long after I started drinking regularly) My parents we're alcoholics and always warned me against it but it's hard to resist and once I start it's hard to stop. I used to have a great job and after a year (once I started drinking) I would go into work drunk and smelling of alcohol and it wasn't long after that I was fired. I then started to get pissed at my parents because the wouldn't let me stay out drinking or they would get mad when I came in drunk so I moved out.

Now I either stay out all night drinking or get drunk by myself. I borrow money from my family and friends constantly just so I can get a six pack or bottle of vodka for the night. And as for my friends they kept trying to tell me that I was going down the wrong path but when you are drunk and anxious to have another beer it's hard to listen so pretty soon they quit hanging out with me. I've been trying to amend all my relationships and it's working a bit. We've all started to hang out more I'm trying to balance my addiction with them but I'm sure they will find out soon. I also got kicked out of college last semester because I would get too drunk to attend class, or would be passed out well into the afternoon. I've also been trying to fix that this semester but I've already withdrawn from two classes because they were too early and I couldn't get drunk fast enough the night before to get up early enough for them.

I also like doing everything drunk. I've gone to job interviews, class, court, seen family members, friends etc. It just seems like if I'm not drunk or at least buzzed then it's not right I'm not 'myself' One last thing I want to tell is this- I got a dui, my bac was 3xs over the legal limit and I had a glass of wine in the car with me (I'm only 19, 18 at the time of arrest) and I started going to AA meetings but even when I first went in to see the counselor I was drunk, in fact after I got out of jail (I was in at 11pm out at 3am) I was already pouring a glass of wine and driving my car (drunk again) to buy cigarettes. I never even skipped a beat after being arrested I wasn't even close to being sober when they let me out and I had no problem in having another drink as soon as I got back to my place.

Alcohol can be a good thing when used in moderation. I've had some good things happen to me- more friends, an ok job, connections (to more alcohol hah). I've also had bad things but it seems I've been able to remedy most of them with just a little alcohol (friends, new job, college) Sad I know but I feel more confident with alcohol and I can relate and interact better with people (it seems that way to me anyway).

All I know is when I'm drunk or buzzed I feel great and can do anything, when I'm hung-over and withdrawn all I can do is sleep and feel depressed. If you had told me about all this or asked me about alcohol a year ago I would've told you no way. In fact as I write this at 6am (still haven't gone to bed) I'm drinking wine and have been doing so all night along with vodka and beer.

Exp Year: 1999	ExpID: 30870
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 29, 2006	Views: 17,034
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