DOSE:

3 hits

oral

LSD

(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

75 kg

After last night. I have come to terms with my spiritual self.

3 double dose blotters. Dose.

I wanted to go for that earth shattering experience. And I got it. I really wanted to learn about my spiritual side this time...and I learnt. And learnt and learnt. I had a peak religious experience.

Comming up was rather chaotic and intense. I was with 2 other people. 1 one of them wasnt tripping, the other was on the same dose as me. I find being around 2 people a bit hard. I dunno. Once the 3rd person went to bed. Me and person 2 had such a better time. We put on some trance music. Had heaps of energy and started to dance. Felt good as usually. Decided to go into the dark bathroom and experience some sensory deprivation. This was kind of weird because it felt as though I was a voice with no body and head and I felt as if I existed in a spirit realm. Started to get really really good closed eye visuals. These were great. So many patterns and combinations of colour and light. Amazing. I didnt know this was possible. We went on our usual walk to the store to get some food. The world is breathing and humming and throbbing. Everything is alive and well at this point in time. We get back and start looking at some psychadelic posters with those kewl designs on them. This was kewl. I was enjoying this experience but it was nothing compared to what was about to happen.

My friend has a sofa bed/futon fold out setup in the lounge room so we rolled that out and had a lie down. It felt as if the whole bed was a raft and we were floating on some great ocean. As the carpet was waving and morphing at this point. Like water. The boat was going up and down with the waves. We were both experiencing this. It was amazing. We could see animal life swimming in the carpet and I felt as though I was really on the open sea. Wind blowing us around. Bobbing up and down in the water. I began to realise it felt so good just to lie still on the raft. And if concentrated enough on being totally still, it felt as if I was sinking into myself? Or like I was melting into a mould? It's hard to explain. But it feels so right. After awhile I started paying closer attention to the carpet. Upon closer inspection the whole sea was filled with letters! Everywhere I saw letters of the alphabet in random patterns and combinations and spiraling in and out up and down flowing like water. I got closer and closer to the 'water' and I saw more and more letters. They got thicker and thicker. It was like those fractal things they use in math. Never ending. It felt amazing just drifting there.

After that we start to lie on the other side of the bed and on the carpet on that side were cd's. All my cds were there and it totally changed the mood. It was like the cds reminded us of reality. We didn't like it at first. But then we started to ignore the fact that the cds were full of music. We started to notice the right reflections on the cds. And playing with them. It felt amazing seeing the light.

This is where it starts to get interesting : After my previous trip I'd become interested in Buddhism. I burnt some Buddhist and new age chant music onto a cd and stuck it in. I just wanted to see how it would be. And I realised instantly this was the best music I'd ever heard in my life! Ever. This was it. So simple. And soothing and relaxing. We began to lie there and a Buddhist chanter began singing. We BOTH at the same time started sweating! We felt so warm just listening to it. It was a really really nice heat. Comming from the inside out. It was bliss. Better then sex. Better then anything I'd ever experienced. We just kept sweating. It only worked with this particular chant though. It was really overwhelming...we slowly started to realise that we were in Tibet! It was like we were really there. I could imagine the monestary and the monks praying peacefully, not harming anyone. I felt so happy, and complete it was amazing. I felt nothing! No emotion but this pure bliss. Satisfaction. I wanted nothing but to be in a room, an empty room, just listening to that music. I wouldn't even have to see the speakers. That's all I needed! Nothing else mattered. Something as simple as a peice of bread was enough. It felt like an entire meal. The smell the texture was amazing. I could taste through my nose!

We continued to feel as though we were in Tibet. We could imagine everything. I brought a book about Buddhism along with me as I was reading it at uni the previous day. I flipped open to a map of Tibet. And I realised as tears came to my eyes, that it was home!! I've never felt so drawn to a place before. It was like it was the home I've been searching for all my life. Even now it's hard to come to terms with this. The simplicity and the peace of Buddhism was just moving me so much. I felt so good! So emotionally flat line. If aliens came down into the room at that moment I would embrace them. Not fear them! Which is what I would normally do.

We had been in our Buddhist world for 2 hours now. I felt like a chinese monk. I went and looked in the mirror and I looked chinese. I felt like eating vegetarian food. No meat. Simple foods.

Over the past few weeks due to tripping I've noticed that my sex drive had decreased. It's very low now. But the thing is, I don't really mind. I'm kewl with it. It's better then being horny all the time and not having any release. After experiencing what I experienced, sex is put in perspective big time! Its not that big a deal for me.

The sun was starting to rise at this point and my friend's appartment is overlooking a major freeway here in Melbourne. And it was peak hour weekday traffic at this point. This was a wonderful view. We saw a almost empty freeway burst into activity. People going to work. It was like everyone was in a panic. Rushing rushing rushing. I felt like walking down to the freeway and just telling everyone to stop and relax and hug each other and realise so much more. We felt like 2 enlightened beings looking down on a chaotic world, however we didn't look at them as lower beings. We felt sorry for them. I began crying again. And I said. 'The world is so beautiful... why'? Why do people fail to see this? We are the ones that create the shit in order to avoid the so called shit. Its an endless spiral of self denial.

All the while we were still in Tibet! We lay there and saw amazing visuals that played really well with the meditation music. As I closed my eyes I saw brilliant light. White and pure. I saw mountains, snow, valleys. Rivers. Nature. It was amazing. I was so relaxed!!! I can't emphasise how great this felt. This went on for 2+ hours. Meditation. We slowly began to drift into a deep peaceful sleep. The amazing thing is that when my non-tripping friend woke up he took a picture of me sleeping. And I had fallen asleep with a smile on my face!! I still feel really great right now. I feel contented. I feel I've had a peak experience. No more LSD for awhile because I wouldn't want to get bored of this because of repetition. It's so special. So so special. If everyone in the world experienced the same thing we went through, believe me. There would be no fighting. All I have to do is have an open mind in terms of my spirituality and LSD will lead me in the right direction. We as a world are beautiful. We are beautiful. There is no ugly. Only ugly thoughts. That is how I'm going to end this one. I hope I have had an impact on someone with my thoughts.

In the past few weeks LSD has done for me what psychiatry has been attempting to do for 10 years and was never nearly successful. I have been on anti-depressants, lithium and all sorts of other meds which never really worked. I've been to therapy groups and sessions. Spent countless hundereds of dollars for very little improvement. I imagined myself under clinical conditions when I took LSD. I wasn't doing it for a kick. I tailored my own treatment session. I designed the setting in my own personal way. And this worked. And I can't get over it. I have gone from being a depressed, anxious, angry, frustrated individual to being someone who is contented, happy, not anxious and calm. Each trip has made me realise that the world isn't as bad as it may seem. It has made me realise the true potential in my own brain and how amazing it is. It has made me become more self-confident in my abilities to learn, understand and experience. I have been able to concentrate and come up with better ideas at school. I show proper emotion now. I can relate to loved ones and family much better. I am finally living. It is truly amazing and I really don't understand why psychadelic therapy with LSD was banned. If taken for the right reasons the risks associated with LSD are no greater then the risk of taking an anti-depressant, which by the way are handed out like candies, which really messed me up. I can't even put in words how much I have improved. It's like I'm a new person. A person waiting for an opportunity to come out.

And LSD has done this. It was my miracle cure. Thank you Dr. Hofmann.

Exp Year: 2004	ExpID: 32307
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 23, 2005	Views: 14,645
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