DOSE: T+ 0:00		oral	Alcohol
T+ 24:00		smoked	Cannabis
T+ 48:00	2 hits	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

Hi, my name is Cheryl, I'm a 31 year old stay at home mom. Prior to this time I had done one hit of LSD five years ago and had a good time with it...it took forever to come down-I felt the effects the next day but otherwise good. I had smoked pot maybe 5 times in my life, I liked to drink to have fun...I don't believe you have to do drugs to have fun. I had suffered from depression on and off throughout my life and in the last 10 years had experienced some panic attacks. This is my story:

In the end of August 2003 my husband and I went to Jamaica for his friends wedding. I was anxious about the trip...leaving my kids (a boy 6 and a girl 3) but he really wanted me to go. Two weeks before the trip I started taking an antidepressant and decided not to take it the week we were in Jamaica. The day before we left I had a really bad feeling about the trip and left a letter for my kids in case something happened to us, telling them how I loved them, etc. (I wish now I had just stayed home...but listen..)

The first day in Jamaica I got really drunk on their Banana Daquiris and the next day I had the worst hangover of my life. So I decided I would smoke pot (very uncharacteristic of me) all day since I couldn't drink. Then the next night I made the biggest mistake of my life. My husband and his friends were sitting around the pool and offered me some acid. I was on vacation, I figured what the hell. Well his friend gives me two hits of acid, one brown, one white. That is when my Hell began.

After taking the LSD and sitting around for a while I remember walking around with him and a couple of his friends and everything feeling out of touch. When we went back to our room and layed down it was like I went inside myself and I felt different personalities emerging and I felt that my husband was trying to pick the one he wanted. I was overcome with a fear that the real me was dying and that my husband was evil and the devil was coming into me. That was the first of many hallucinations I had for the next 3 months.

We got home safely from Jamaica and I was still out of it... 2 days after getting home I was admitted to the Mental Ward for 10 days. I was assigned a Pyschiatrist and he diagnosed me with LSD-induced Psychosis. That was the first of five trips (each was about a week long) to the Mental Ward from September through the end of November. The time I spent there was an experience in itself too. Many different kinds of people there-drug addicts, suicidal people, severely depressed people. It was not what I had always believed-people wearing the white jacket.

I was on three different antipsychotic drugs...one, I think it was Haldol...made me a zombie and I was so depressed becuase during all those months I couldn't take care of my children (had to go to daycare during the day), I couldn't even drive a car-it came to a point that I just wanted to commit suicide. I couldn't do that though because the love I have for my children carried me through. My nurses can attest to that - I forgot my own name one time I was in the hospital but I knew I had my kids.

Well here it is May 2004 and I have not went Psychotic since the end of November and I have been off anti-psychotic meds for 6 weeks. Right now I am just on Zoloft (anti-depressant) and Depakote (controls mania). But I have been severely depressed and have no energy and have gained 24 pounds in the last 5 months. I have been living in fear of relapsing and disrupting my children's lives again and being locked up in the mental ward again. Last night I had such a vivid nightmare I woke up and had a full blown panic attack...It was like reliving my ordeal in Jamaica with my 'personalities'. My pyschologist made me feel much better today. She said anyone that has lived through a tramatic experience will have times that are tougher than others. Its kind of like I have post-traumatic syndrome now.

On top of all I've mentioned above we have hospital bills totalling about $2000 (insurance only pays 30 inpatient days) and the added cost of daycare for my children for the 3 months I couldn't take care of them. It ended up being a VERY expensive 'trip'.

Sorry this is such a long story but I have wanted my voice to be heard on this subject and I have found an outlet here. I don't believe anyone should try LSD. There is also the fact I quit taking my anti-depressent and smoked pot the day before dosing that may have added to the damage LSD caused me. But I believe and more importantly, my pyschiatrist believes, this wouldn't have happened had I not done the LSD. I'll never underestimate anything that can have an effect on my mental stability and I warn everyone that reads this to think about it too. Even if the chance is one in a thousand of this happening to you...do you want to gamble with your mind?

Thank god I got mine back...I'm just praying my brain chemicals are back where they are supposed to be and stay there.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 33340
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 11, 2006	Views: 11,827
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LSD (2) : Depression (15), Post Trip Problems (8), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)