DOSE:	repeated	oral	Diphenhydramine	(pill / tablet)
	1.0 g	oral	Caffeine	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

86 lb

I guess it didn't start out as anything exciting. I'd messed around DXM (robitussin cherry cough medicine ... really gross stuff, but more on that some other time). The main reason for even trying this stuff was because I'd heard that it fucks people up like acid, only a lot worse or better, depending on how they see it. I was looking for something to induce hallucinations, but this wasn't it. And a short while ago I remembered that I'd done pain reliever/sleeping pills before, and it had been a pretty interesting experience, so I figured it would happen with this one too. So, I bought a pack of 100 mini caplets of Simply Sleep, (a nighttime sleep aid containing Diphenhydramine HCI), as well as a bottle of Jet Alert caffeine pills, located conveniently within one of the hundreds of shelves at the local store. And, since I'm still a minor, and shopping with my mom, they wouldn't seem too strange for me to be getting. (I'm somewhat of an insomniac, so my mom understood).

Anyway ... I got them, and that Thursday night, about 8 pm, I downed 8 of the tiny blue little pills, each 25mg each. So that resulted in about 200 mg altogether that night, which didn't seem like a big deal. But then again, I'm 16, hardly 5 feet, and I'm of a pretty small stature - 86 pounds.

Anyway, I was working on some school assignment, putting together a selection of music for some school oriented thing, and for about twenty minutes, to half an hour, to an hour, I was fine.

But then suddenly maybe an hour and a half later it kicked it, and I noticed the effects, as if they had crept up on me. I could barely move, and I was sitting on the floor in my room, but I noticed this sort of dizziness had set in, and the hilarious part was that I, as any teenage girl, liked singing along to music, (some old music - sum 41, the beatles, afi, the clash.) / soo... as I was singing, I realized that I could barely get the words out of my mouth. My tongue would barely move, and It was almost sort of funny. Then .... I couldn't accomplish anything, It was like a weight had sort of been thrown against my head, like someone had put an invisible 30 pound blanket on my head, body, and tongue.

Then I realized I couldn't breathe. I had to take deep gasps just to keep myself afloat, and I just had this really disturbing weird disassociated feeling. But it was a really awful feeling. I'm not sure where I went from there, I probably just lay in bed or something. But I'm a general insomniac by nature, and whilst the diphenhydramine did administer a sort of sedation, it also made any sort of insomnia 400 times worse.

The next day was Friday, and it just all out sucked.

I went to school normally, late as usual, and as I went to go get a late pass, I realized with increased fear that, holy shit, what was i going to say? I could barely talk, but I managed a few little 'yes mam's, thank you, have a nice day's', and then I walked off, and kept my mouth shut the rest of the day, because that morning - we had visitors over, and I tried to ask them a question, but I was rattled, not to mention, I had to ask in a foreign language (hard enough to begin with), so what I said came out as some hilariously funny garbled sentence with no coherent meaning. Anyway, anything I said had to be thought out very well, and I had to focus my entire being on getting those words out of my mouth. Then, I went to class, and the rest of the day, any conversations I had were purely fucked up. I could barely hear what the other people were saying, and I could hardly speak. I'm sure that they could see that I was off the wall that day.

(oh, and on top of all that - any thing I said, it felt like I was yelling really loudly.)

None the less, I went through school as normal, and after school,

Following the 2 caffeine pills I had taken during lunch, I took three more, 200 mg each, all in all ... 1000 mg altogether. By that point, I went home, and I came right up to my room and I was fucking scared. I had a concert to go to that night, but ... needless to say, I never made it. I lay in bed for the next two days, I was home alone, so I just lay there, every part of my body shaking uncontrollably, I cried now and then, and I was just in total misery. I could barely breathe, and I honestly thought I was going to die. That night I got up and came downstairs to watch tv, - bad idea. I was hit with a bad case of insomnia, and then I came upstairs after watching tv for a while, and I lost all sense of self. I had no grip over who I was anymore. I sat in bed crazed and annoyed that I couldn't get myself together. For that short moment in time I had really truly become insane, I had no history, nor future. Just a present. I wasn't myself anymore, and it was kind of the same feeling of when you're a kid, naive to everything, and suddenly - suddenly you realize that there's war and death and all these terrible things on the planet, when before, all you had known was your pet cat or dog, or the backyard, and your family. And suddenly there's a million things you never knew. Well, that was kind of the feeling.

From there on, I slept for about four days straight, and the visitors and my family left all day on Saturday, so I took a shower and I got back into normal routine, and the day went pretty well, it was just nice and relaxing, and after the general life-threatening side effects had passed, the pills kind of leave me in this weird state of feeling different, of not being myself, but - in a *good* way. I guess it depends on your surroundings and your mood, but I was pretty happy, and the drug-like effects escalated that. Saturday night I got depressed for a short bit and downed 6 more pills. 150mg, and there came that same breath-less feeling, but it was much less worse. And then all of Sunday was spent sleeping, and then Sunday night I woke up at about 12, and I watched Spinal Tap. (great movie), and once again, I was in a good mood, and everything was rather trippy.

A dark room was suddenly no longer a dark room, for example - the cool part was that if I went into a dark room or turned the lights off, normally I can see inside, and I can still see any light coming into the room, but with doing this diphenhydramine shit, turning off the lights means complete entire darkness, like when I close my eyes at night, only I don’t need to close your eyes anymore - it's exactly the same, and it's freakin' amazing. although I never experienced people that weren't there, or anything really fantastic or exciting, it was a good experience in itself.

So, Sunday after watching Spinal Tap, I went back to bed, and over the entire period of four or five days, I had some pretty strange dreams, and laying in bed was an awesome feeling, creativity and daydreaming came much easier to me, and that was the good part. Bad part was that it's still five days later, Monday night, 10:20 pm, and I still feel strange. Like an upside down headache. That seems weird, but it feels like I'm upside down, and I'm still feeling the nausea. And the bad part is, I'm not sure when this will ever end. I can still talk and move about somewhat, but even those simple things are mostly a chore.

Also, the entire period of being on this stuff, I didn't feel hungry at all, so I didn't really eat much, either. I'm also not sure if I overdosed, but I'm pretty sure I might have - and if you'd have asked me Friday I would have begged to be taken to the hospital, because it felt *that* bad. Thankfully, my parents never noticed, though they did show concern, but as of this point, nobody knows, and I'll be fine.

I thought the pills would waste away a few hours, but instead, it messed up any plans for the entire week. It's got some scary effects, and while the after effects are pretty cool, I had no hallucinations, just a strange mixed feeling in my head, but all it really does is mess me up physically and take away any of my normal bodily functions. To say one thing, though, after this experience - I no longer take my breathing, speech, or ability to walk and think, for granted.

I also, for the first time in ages, slept peacefully. and I realized that sleeping is good for me. (whereas before this I got about 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night, if that.)

Exp Year: 2004	ExpID: 37358
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 19, 2007	Views: 10,935
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Diphenhydramine (109) : Various (28), Retrospective / Summary (11)