DOSE:

Methamphetamine

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

I am currently 19 years old and my bad habits started when I was at the ripe young age of 15. Now I say ripe young age, because that seems to be the time in high school where every kid starts experienting with their drug of choice. I started my adventure smoking pot and drinking whenever I got the chance.

So my story starts out with me and my friend, lets call him Jake, and I went to rave out in the beautiful city of LA. Now Jake had been an avid user of E and had experimented with other more powerful substances. I on the other hand was just a simple minded pothead who just wanted to get to smoke bowl after bowl of that very dull plant. So as we went to were on our way to LA my friend jake told me that I will be trying E whether I liked it or not, now he said this in a joking matter, but I knew he was serious, but at the time I didn't mind, I wanted to experience new horizons.

So as the party went on and the music was banging, I downed that first magical little pill that sent my mind spinning into another world. I had never felt so happy in my entire life, for a few hours everything made sense, and my life was in order. Throughout the course of the night I took about 5 pills, which I now realize could have potentially killed me.

Now as the night ended, I wanted more and more of the euphoric sensations I had endured during the night to return. Sadly we ran out of E, and pot, so we made our drive back home. Now I wanted to enjoy the nightlife on a regular basis, and that began my steady decline. For the next 2 years ages 15-17, I snuck out of my house hitching rides out to the party scene and loosing my mind, with my friend Jake. We both knew we couldn't keep going on living this lifestyle forever, so we decided to end out raver days short. Now this put me back on good terms with my parents, as they knew I was sneaking out, and turning my brain into swiss cheese. I slowly started living something that resembled a normal life, but my mind and body still craved for those euphoric desires.

It was about this time at age 17 towards the end of my junior year in highschool that I began experimenting with methamphetamines. Now I found 2 very reliable sources for meth, because they were my friends, I knew they would always have my fix, and at such a great deal. I was paying 40 dollars a gram. So for the course of my junior year I began smoking meth every morning, and right about 10 am hop in the bathroom have a little pick me up rail, and at lunch, have another, and then smoke some more meth before I went home. Now my parents had somewhat of a clue of my activities as the summer I turned 17 I wieghed a whopping 195, and magically lost 45 pounds in a 2 month span. They did not seem to concerned about my wieght loss or my late night activities, which consisted of banging loud music, and reading through 10 chapters of any given book I owned.

Now during my junior year, my meth use was frequent, but not a problem, as my grades were so much improved from previous years. See my gpa through the first 2 years of high school was a very mediocre 2.17, and when my junior year arrived, I finished up with a 3.5 GPA. So in my head I thought I found the trick, I could use my lunch money to buy meth dirt cheap, eat one meal everyday which was dinner at my house, keep my grades, up and nothing would go wrong. Every students ideal dream. Boy was I sadly mistaken.

My junior year came to an end, I was doing better than ever in school, my social status was peaking, and could not get any better. So summer approached, and basically every single day of summer was exactly the same, and I do mean every single day. I would wake up in the mornings and tell my mom and dad I was heading out and I won't be back untill later. Now I'm not sure why they were not concerned frankly it didn't bother me, I would be gone for 2 or 3 days at a time sitting in the corner of my friend's apartment getting spun out of my mind. By this point and time my friend/dealer was hooking me up with free shit, because I brought him an enormous amount of buisness. Anyway I spent my whole summer getting high and higher and higher, until I was at the point where I would be spun out of my mind for the 5 week days, and crash on Saturday and Sunday, and repeat the process.

Now it was time my senior year approached. I thought I would just continue where I left off my junior year, getting spun doing my work, and keeping everything under wraps. Now I was so lost in my own little world that I had no idea I had lost an additional 20 pounds. Now me being a 6'0 tall male weighing 130 pounds people start to notice somethings wrong. So I slumped through my senior year of high school completely ignoring the actual 'school' aspect of it all. I spent my time on campus figuring out when and where I was gonna get high, and with who. I completely blew off my schoopl duties. I went from an outstanding 3.5 GPA, to failing 4 classes and barely passing 2 with D's the first semester of my senior year.

At this point and time my parents lost their mind, they took my car away, and completely shut me up inside my house. This was their attempt to stop me from tweaking, they knew by now, they just never addressed it before, God knows why. So it came second semester and I was still scoring free meth from my dealer, coming home locking myself in my room hunched over in my closet, spinning that glass pipe back and forth, because it was the only way I could feel sane, and keep my thoughts in my head.

My brain was so fried by this point in time, that I couldn't speak without stuttering, trailing off, or just flat out stop in the middle of a sentence. My mind was done for, I somehow managed to pass my second semester of high school and graduate. I don't have a goddamn clue how I pulled that one off, someone out there muct have been looking over me. So sumemr approached, and my family was planning on moving out of the state of California, and into Arizona, because its not only cheaper to live there, but it would be a nice escape for me, a chance for a fresh start. They always looked after me no matter how fucked up my life was or how complicated I made theirs.

Its summer time now, I haven't broken my addiction, I'm about to move out of this now shithole of a house in about 2 months time. Every single night I come home I lock my door sit in my closet spin the pipe, and stare at that oh so beautiful glow in front of my nose, waiting for my life to get better. My life right now has no direction whatsoever. I'm almost positive my parents have given up on me, I'm about to move to a new state leaving everything behind, and walking into a new situation a fucked up drug addict. I'm not to the point where I'm sticking needles in my arm, but I feel that day is coming very very soon.

Exp Year: 2001-2005	ExpID: 42650
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Aug 24, 2007	Views: 13,657
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Methamphetamine (37) : Not Applicable (38), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)