DOSE:

1.75 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

165 lb

My medicated schizophrenic friend payed for an 8th of long skinny grayish white and blue with small brown capped mushrooms. I ate half the 8th in his car on the way to a city park where I was going to spend the night in the hopes of waking up early the next morning to hit the close by labor pool. A small hint of the effects were slightly apparent about 20-30 min. after ingestion while still in the car. I was dropped off at the park and found a spot to lay out my sleeping bag.

This park is old and in the mid-town area of a somewhat major city and is for the most part grass and trees and old sunken in metal benches with a statue, pathways and a small picnic area. It was vacant except for a couple not too far from me having a small argument which lasted about 15 minutes after I got there, a cop car parked at the edge of the park aware of my presence, a sleeping homeless guy and various other peasants and crack addicts here and there. I was in a good mood despite I had been feeling a bit adjetated and swimmy headed all day partly due to the fact that I had taken a Welbutrin the day before for the first time which was by then completely worn off.

I layed in my sleeping bag and dazed and thought and read a little bit out of the Bhagavad-Gita As It Is. The effects subtly came on strongly and were extremely pleasant. The body high was very strong and felt great and the trees would shift every so often. I remember laughing to myself about some kind of silly thought. I eventually ended up withdrawing into my sleeping bag. I somehow felt some kind of loving and compassionate connection to my aunt who is a loving and compassion member of my mom’s side of the family who I’ve always felt like the black sheep of.

Before I knew it I was coming into the reality of the suffering and goodness of various people in my life including my sister and an alcoholic friend and was crying like an infant. I battled my ego in disgust of it. This happens to me every time. I went deeper into myself/soul or however you want to put it, snotting and wrenching the kind of cries that come from essence of the soul. Something very spiritual was happening to me as I asked and experienced forgiveness from God who I addressed as Jesus.

A local homeless crack addict walked by and was disturbed at the sight of me. Eventually I got up and I don’t know if it was that I allowed my mind to take me in to my void and personal hell, if I just had to be taught a lesson or if I had actually come to the realization and disturbing truth of what is taught in the Bhagavad-Gita of this material existence being a punishment or result of something I as an eternal soul did a long time ago, hence my falling from God and continue to do as I pursue comfort, illusion, and selfish desires. As I walked into the city bare foot, and beginning to hyperventilate, I don’t know if it was my mind, a demon or some kind of spirit teacher making me realize and condemning myself for always having to be 'so cool' and 'so punk’.

The realization of the fact that I’m dying and focused on the wrong often negative and hurtful things was not pretty. I walked through the city (still in the same area which was mainly void of traffic and people) to the city hospital for criminals and people with low income. I walked into the lobby barefoot and obviously quite comical in appearance expecting to be taken into the mental ward or something like that in the hopes of some kind of doctor or good soul to help me. I was having somewhat of a hypertensive crisis and my hands and arms were going numb. I was very much aware of the fact that I was dying-even quicker at that moment-yet was refused emergency treatment, it being made known to me that I have to wait just like everybody else although I was damn near falling out.

Just about everyone in the emergency room including the workers seemed to mock and laugh at me as I was going through a crisis. I just wanted somebody to help me but had to accept that this world can be a very cold and backwards and that actually no human can do anything for me when it comes down to it. I walked out of the hospital into the city as people seemed to glare at and laugh at me. Ignorance really is blindess that works evil and I witnessed the same bad human nature that drove people to crucify Jesus Christ. I walked around the city in a panic, realizing that no amount of mental prayers were going to save my soul as I felt as if I was decending into my own private self-induced hell.

Realizing the truth that the mind is a terrible thing to waste and that while we are in these human bodies the best thing we can be doing is cultivating the right knowledge and applying it which for me (I only say 'for me' so I don’t 'push my beliefs') was the science of self-realization, the Bhagavad-Gita and chanting the Hare Krishna mantra - which for the first time after a month in a half worth of mostly silent practice - chanted loudly and effectively experiencing its transcendental powers, as I achieved pleasure and hope of liberation.

This went on for several hours as I realized that chanting Hare Krishna is the only thing I need to be doing. Not sleeping, not trying to be cool, or popular or chasing dreams but rather building my spiritual body. I at one point was on my knees 'dying' and trembling as I experienced void and hell. I refused it and got back up and chanted loudly and almost irately. I walked by a group of thuggish teenage kids who proceeded to laugh at me and possibly jump me but backed off as I chanted irately - my tone quite defensive- and pointed at one stating 'There is a hell!' which seemed to be quite disturbing and effective for them. Keep in mind I was still hyperventilating and 'dying’. I decided to take my punishment like a man and chant victoriously to my very last breath.

I walked around and chanted for several hours. As I achieved the transcendental vibrations it seemed to be agreeing with peoples spirits that I would pass by and I believe alot of the people who witnessed all this knew what was going on with me/what I was doing, including the cop parked at the edge of the park who seemed to be some kind of angel as he casually just observed and it was almost as if he knew exactly what was going on.

Anyway thankfully I am still occupying this body although I feel as if I suffered a little brain damage from hyperventilating for so long. Obviously I was being taught something as it wouldn’t be very fair for my loved ones for 'me' to just expire with out any explanation towards them and having so much unfinished business.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 42966
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 29, 2008	Views: 8,250
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Mushrooms (39), Chanting (456) : Mystical Experiences (9), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)