DOSE:	150 mg	insufflated	Ketamine	(powder / crystals)
		smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

So I was in northeastern India, sikkim to be exact, gangtok, the capitol, to pinpoint and situate you. if you, whoever you may be, haven't been to sikkim, uh, it’s the foothills of the Himalayas and then the Himalayas and then the Tibetan plateau. that would be going south to north. down to up, which is the movement of what I am getting to, eventually, for you. maybe after being with an old friend, arf, for about an hour (a rendezvous planned yet spontaneously enacted within the previous hour) he let me in on the scoop that he had in his possession a handful of vials of liquid ketamine that he had purchased from a veterinary medical supply shop sometime in his six weeks of residence in this terraced town. gangtok.
he put me in possession of these vials saying, 'we're gonna do that.'
I responded to him quizzically yearning childish and desperately, 'now?'


maybe a week later we had moved locale and were put up in a typical guesthouse sans tele in yuksum. Buddhists are always up in the temples/monasteries getting it going on and we happened to be in this town as they (the nygmapa maroon robed and all alike) were partying to celebrate an auspicious number of days their new shrine/temple in town had been in functioning order. the extravagance tumbled from its walls, literally. food, of all varieties (bags o' chips, tropical and temperate fruit, chat, candied butter rice balls, etc.) was piled in and around the site in a profusion not unlike an exploded American grocery. we were included in opulence, going home that first night there arms loaded, filled, brimming with these snackies and crinkly plastics.
a wonderful night it was: perfectly attuned to the mindset of the vajrayanists who, at the ceremony, had chanted while we lit our bodies on fire with local whiskeys and brews and field weeds. back at the pad it was quiet and chill pleasant. arf and I chatted. me and arf smoked. it was his idea to read my mind and say what I was thinking, 'tonight it might be a good idea to take the k.'

'I agree forthwith and full on.'

we had lifted candles from the sikkim tourist lodge where we had eaten korma and tenthuk the night before in pelling. I lit one, steadied it, poured one vial (50mgs. if I am not mistaken) onto a stationary and hovering above the flame spoon. after a minute it was fizzing, crackling, spitting bubbles of boiling psychotechnology all over the literature that had become strewn about somehow earlier in the few hours of residence in this double bed hot water hotel room. a profoundly abstract landscape print of a painting, looking local, was hung between the west facing and north facing windows. a cheap photo of the world trade center taken from Jamaica bay with Canadian geese caught in flight imposed in front of the gone buildings hung framed by arf's bed, on the other side of the western window. maybe three minutes later the liquid had fully evaporated leaving a crystallized residue similar to cheap cocaine. we cooked two more vials and scraped all the dust onto a burroughs book accordingly stupid and chopped it up and laid it out.

now this was more what I was thinking it would look like. I had never seen ketamine nor been around anyone that was on it, I think. but I had associated it altogether with another physical situation. arf had turned down my bed for me and propped up the pillow and had me get under the covers so I could be warm. that made me feel a little uneasy like it was some shit that I was in for. I voiced this.

'well, we want you to avoid the k-hole, dude. you don't want to go there. it's like a syndicated television show with an abrasive laugh track caught on repeat constantly being played out in front of your eyes, whether they are open or closed,' arf exhaled in one long, slow and quiet breath.

'k-hole, huh. mmm. we want to avoid the k-hole.'
'exactly.'

'sure.'

'yeah. take enough to get where you think you want to be. once it hits it will ride out for a bit then you will notice it starting to fade-'

'like how long will that be...' I posed on the anxious verge of trepidation.

'uh. you'll know. ...when that happens, when the intensity begins its dénouement immediately sit up, take another line, the same size and hit the chillum hard.'

'rip it corestyle?' the Albuquerquian wonders.

'huh? ...fiercely.'

'whatever you think, doctor.'

'that's right. ready?'

ready? what is that supposed to mean? I lingered on that one after I snorted what should have only been 75mgs. of the powder, but, uh, that line of thought didn't last very long. within the time it took me to lay back and pull the comforter up the dissolving ketamine had begun to affect the goings on of mine. the tickly nervous energy that I had when taking the rail remained but slowly grew and from it sprung a more deep-seated, lolling oscillation of harsh nervous stimulation. I warm cool. I was cold hot. my eyelids fluttered as I willed them to stay shut. I focused on the only sounds in the room that I could make out. heartbeat and breath. seemed like a good idea. simple, my own. I concentrated on evening the breath and turned my palms upward and disengaged my tongue from the mouth roof. from behind my eyelids, as I still recognized the lack of light and object related to the physical fact that I had closed my eyes, I began to see object. I could sense light. forms gained shape and their colors emerged. at this point I had fallen away. the simple act of shutting off my eyes from the outside world had almost immediately, as soon as the full effect of the element became grossly apparent, displaced me from sikkim, yuksum, the guesthouse, the room, the bed and finally the body in the bed. I use the nominative pronoun me cuz it just seems to make sense in relating this situation we are presently dealing with. you have to understand somehow, if you have not experienced something similar, that at some indiscernible moment I separated from I. uh, me no me. ? a complete and total dissemination of the I that I think of myself as or that I actually am, ya call that the ego doncha? until there is no more. still there remains a realization of being, of entity, yet that understanding simply just is. there was no human garbage along for the ride. eye said byebye to that.

a gigantic swirling pink green brown blue orange earthworm swung from the heights of the oil puddle that I was examining on the ceiling of the seen. a definite emotional and something that could be likened to a physical sensation (here a slight remembrance/recognition that I am temporarily housed in flesh) activated itself throughout my being and soon I was in cahoots with this earthworm cosmic beanstalk. swoon. immediately I was swirling. I was gigantic. all was greenbrownblue. I rode that one out fro a while. got into it. breathing deep, seeing where it went...letting the will of Whatever take me for a spin. I suddenly had the release of being entirely detached from my caucasoid bag o'bones. this brought happiness, endless happiness (Black Dice: Beaches & Canyons. DFA; 2003). this happiness somehow translated itself to the tangible me, that fucking lil'homie laying there all zoning out on expansive crystals. what a cumbersome obligation! all of a sudden I flashed aware of something. a smile. my face was smiling. oh shit, Body! my eyelids flickered open for a second. I sighed. I heard a movement next to me. someone close by. arf. my friend. I was told I was making sounds but I made one then that I could listen too. it was vocalization of this endless happiness. my eyes again.

'here, sit up, ' arf compassionately demanded.

'hmm...where...here...this one here?' I asked really trying my absolute hardest to squint and make out the extremely fuzzy liquid looking line of ketamine that I was supposed to inhale. the tooter seemed much too odd in my clammy nubby and impossible hand. I wasn't altogether aware of the feeling of the granules flying up my nose onto my brain. next thing I knew before I could pass back out physically, I was told no and saw a bouquet of illuminescent yellowredwhite dill flowers spring from arf's handheld tool. I tried to enact proper chillum style but it was heinously difficult. my limbs felt disorgani(c)zed.

'just put it in your mouth,' arf spoke.

I giggled. took as big a puff as I could.

'exhale it. now. take another.'

the second one perplexed me. I couldn't really tell what was going on. I was taking smoke into my lungs via my mouth? the bizarrity of this simple action did not register. my sign read closed. I laid back trying to think of holding in the smoke but instantaneously I was gone. not there no more. nuh-ting. crackling eruptions spoke through the ether and translated the colors that gathered and split throughout the introspective vision movie of the erratic unteathered mind that I saw. that I saw.

like a velvet liquid, I twisted, merged, pulled through this endless film that created a boundary, signifying something beyond it, a movement towards. a tearing nightmare of brushing aside foliage, ripping masks off the thousand faces approaching, digging through mounds of their hair, hoisting away heavy gelatinous stones from the path and swimming, swimming through viscosity, iridescent viscosity. continuous. channeled. wearing away the layers of this interzone, this bardo. a concrete transgression while the body lay ecstatic, churning moans of passive glee only noted by the adjacent, comparatively unaffected anesthesiologist. as this floating me-essence began to finalize this chapter, this stage of the experience, more and more calm built itself into the scene. the intensity had run its course and all was like drinking water. but then, as the final curtain lifted, a new state was entered. a lighter one, familiar, motionless relatively. the trajectory and momentum subsided and the feeling suspended itself in a naive holiday happiness. blissy. here the geography seemed indefinable yet made of objects, ever shifting. clouds. upon them, these greyblue shaded white masses of sofa, sat further objects, lifelike, emotional. vague. out there reachable but vaporous. were they iconography of deified entities inhabiting an ethereal plain that I had just suddenly become privy too? they, now two, now four then eight, settling on three, all visible humanoids in response, as if waiting. their garb Asian, stately, robes, blankets, a woman and two men, looking at me, looking into my eyes and opening their mouths.

breath. body breath. air. back against bed against floor upon earth and eyes again. blink flutter blink. still hallucinogenic on the sights in the room. Fully not identifying with any of it so I just laid there until I had the wherewithal and the fresh memory to tell this tale I have just told to you.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 44769
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 27, 2006	Views: 37,224
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