DOSE:

50 mg

oral

AMT

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

97 lb

About two or three hours after taking the a-MT I was in the midst of feeling in between life and death. While vomiting for about the 7th time I stared into the brown sprew and thought to myself, 'Yea, I'm definitely gonna have to trip on this again', and as the story goes ....

It was passing time between 4th and 5th period when my boyfriend handed me a gelcap of an estimated 50 miligrams of a-MT he had eyeballed the night before. He took his own gelcap and our friend, F, had already taken his. It was Friday and we all planned to spend the whole day tripping together. The past three days, however, I was sick with a cold and had been on antibiotics which would later cause me regretting ever sneezing.

I remember reading that it took between 30 thru 60 minutes to start coming up on a-MT. Which completely confused as I started to feel the stimulating effects after 10. I tried to shake the feeling off as an excuse of anticipation. Less then 10 minutes after that I felt my hands grow deathly cold and the bricks beneath the chalkboard grew and shrank. I began to feel a bit nervous as I placed my hand on top of the arm of a boy who sits behind me. He winced as he replied how cold I felt but because he had no idea what was going on he ignored me after that.

The period ended and I went to meet my boyfriend. As I walked through the crowded highschool I noticed that the noises that fill up the hallways were unusually louder and I seemed to be walking faster then normal with no real effort. I saw my boyfriend and he informed me that he thinks he started to feel the a-MT last period. I breathed and told myself that he must be feeling the same way as I do. We hurried outside into some woods near our school so we could wait for another friend who we had sold the chemical to. In the woods my boyfriend, F, and a few others smoked during the wait. (I couldn't due to my two years of probation) During this time I found myself sliding my foot across the snow repetitively. I wanted to say something but talking seemed too complicated.

We all walked out of the woods that period and me, my boyfriend, and F, went out on the look-out for our other friend. We found him and soon found out that he had no intention of tripping with us so we left. We were headed down a busy road and I felt the cars and trucks come at me in full-speed. My heart quickened and my nerves tightened up even more. F became talking how he was kinda able to feel the MDMA and my boyfriend discussed that with him. I wanted to say something but talking seemed even more difficult.

We were all headed toward my boyfriend's job so he could get his paycheck. When we approached the store I began to feel faint and took his drink to gain some sort of strength. We all walked into the store and I felt myself trip harder. It was pleasent but as I was waiting by the Valentine Bears with F I felt something go terribly wrong. I walked outside without a word. F followed me and asked for an explanation. I shook my head. 'I don't feel good'. My boyfriend soon came outside and we were walking again. They asked me if I was alright. I told them I felt faint and maybe it was hunger or low blood suger level. (I had fainted from both before) We made out way to another store so they could look at the tents. Going inside seemed impossibly overwhelming for me so I stayed outside. The trip was coming in harder, I noticed that, but ... something was wrong. It was a little after one and my body began to feel like it was disappearing. I felt shaky and extrememly light. I somehow managed to light a cigeratte and smoked it in hopes of finding a normal self or to keep my concertration off my body. Time passed by very slow and I felt myself slipping away. My boyfriend and F came out of the stores. 'They don't sell tents,' they told me. 'I really don't feel good,' I told them.

We traveled to the dollar store to pick up something to eat. F went in and my boyfriend suggested we stand inside the doors. I agreed but once inside something overwhelmed me again and I went back outside. He commented on how pale I looked. My breathing became rash and when he asked me if I was okay I couldn't find the strength to reply. F came out with oatmeal cookies and we found an empty spot outside a movie theatre doorway to rest in. I was nibbling on a cookie and considered sitting down. I was too afraid though. My body was dying to sit but I was too afraid of not getting back up. There was something terrifying about just stopping at that moment. My boyfriend suggested for me to sit down and I knew I had to respond one way or the other. I looked down to the floor and then sat. I heaved a deep breath and felt somewhat safe in my boyfriends arms. Conversation started up between my boyfriends and F and I could understand what they were saying was funny. For some reason I couldn't even smile. My body felt extrememly hot and I started to take my gloves off but my boyfriend stopped me. I turned my back and started to vomit. Nothing came out but if felt good to know that my stomach muscles worked. I suddenly realized how important it was to walk. It meant that something was working. That I was capable. That I was alive. 'Lets walk' I ordered in a faint voice.

My body at this point was feeling nonexistent. I couldn't think, talk, or translate anything. All I could do was walk. So that's what we did. We walked all the way to some office buildings and stayed in the elevator. I didn't want to go there because of a pedophile that worked in one of the offices but I had no energy to argue. I huddled in a corner of the elevator and began to dry heave. It felt good. I was still alive.

I think it was about this time that I remember that I was on antibiotics and I just stopped the night before. But I had no strength to tell them and my insides felt like floating pieces of rubber.

A man must of heard me. He opened the elevator door and ordered us to get out. Somewhere inside my head I strung along a long line of hyphinated curse words to describe him. It didn't really matter though. I didn't have any coordination to put any energy I may have left into hating him anyway. We went to the back of the building and I praticed some self-induced vomiting. I don't really think my stomach hurt though. It was, again, just for the prupose of having something inside me work. The vomiting felt good. I was succeeding at a task that took life and energy to do. After about the 3rd sprew I heard my boyfriend say 'You might wanna lean forward' I pictured myself leaning forward. Missing my pants and all that other good stuff. But I couldn't translate it. My thoughts were hazy and incapable of any analyzation. I puked again. I didn't lean forward.

We headed toward my boyfriend's house and someone, possibly me, had the idea to get orange juice. We stopped on the way to pick some up and my boyfriend went into the store. F stayed out with me and an urge came again to vomit. I rushed to the back of the store and vomited a few times. F and my boyfriend found me and we continued our travel to his house. We didn't get very far when I decided that I needed to vomit again. We went in some woods and I began my vomiting ritual as F and my boyfriend smoked a bowl. 'You might wanna protect your pants' my boyfriend suggested. Again, I pictured myself doing that, and knew it was a really good idea but it wouldn't translate. I heard the word ambalance coming from their direction and I guess I would've been scared if I was capable of it. However, thinking into the future was impossible. It meant too many things. Too many things I didn't wanna think about. Even the next five minutes were impossible to think of. All that I could do was keep alive at the moment. Not faint (which my body was aching to do) or lose control (not like I had the energy) just to keep going.

Somehow we all managed to get to my boyfriends house around 2 thirty and I fell to the bed. The world spun and a bullet through my brain would've been quite nice. I leaned over and puked. It was around here that I informed F and reminded my boyfriend about my medication. Alarmed looks were casted. My boyfriend put out some bread for me and I ate it extrememly slowly. Movement would cause a dizziness I couldn't handle so I avoided being mobile as much as possible. Soon the weakness began to slowly disappear and an indescribable pain replaced it. F and my boyfriend kept giving me the same advice. 'Stay calm', 'Don't rush yourself', and blah blah blah (It really did help though) The pain that I felt was throughout my whole body. I felt as though my blood was fighting each other. I was twitching a lot and crying out a bit. Fortunately the pain subsided somewhat. It came in waves. Painful waves, but still, it was just waves. The waves grew shorter, more distant from each other, and less intense. I felt myself tripping in between them. 'Yup' I would think with a smile before another wave of pain shot throughout my body.

I was able to participate in conversation and even smiled a little when my boyfriend made a sexual slurr. My bladder was full and I intended to go to the bathroom but standing up just blew me down into the bed into spasms of pain. Finally I was well enough to head to the bathroom and pee. I came back feeling almost completely better. I played Mario Cart and rarely felt any pain at all. The trip was in full swing and I was having fun. I noticed how slowly time was going when examined but when looking back it went by rapidly.

We met up with some friends later that night but me and my boyfriend ended up ditching them to have sex. Sounds pretty dicky, huh? Well he was extremely 'stimulated' and we spent the rest of the night fucking and opening up. Old feelings intensified and I'm still feeling it now.

I finally went home at 12 thirty and plopped on my bed. I was too unmotiviated to do anything. I woke up (if i even slept) several times that night. It was a great trip (despite the near death experiance) but I feel kinda cheated because I was too sick to ease into it and apperciate it at all stages. Which is exactly why I'm gonna do it this Friday again!

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 4624
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 14, 2001	Views: 17,111
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AMT (7) : Various (28), Health Problems (27), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)