DOSE:

repeated

insufflated

Methamphetamine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

170 lb

I wrote this to relate my first meth experience to others, so that they may make an informed decision regarding their own use of it. I am not recommending anything. To use or not to use is your decision.

Cocaine is my drug of choice, I know the ritual all too well. Buy, chop, snort, feel the rush, ride the rush. Then crave, crash, and repeat. Having doubts or feeling guilty fits in somewhere during the crash. The ritual gets repeated again and again, until I either run out, fall asleep or down a z bar and a couple of shots.

For the past 5 months, I've spent every weekend, and a couple of weekdays, repeating the ritual. Two of us would go through at least 4 grams on a typical weekend, but many weekends 8 to 10g was normal. My body, mind and wallet knew the limits, but that next ride made me push those limits to the max. 1am would turn into 6 am which would turn into 10am, and I'd wonder where the time went. 'The sunrise is nice this morning' I'd often say. Then 'just one more'.

As sweet as the high was, the craving, crashing and guilt were a hundred times worse. I hated it, despise it, still do. Many times I thought I should quit completely because of it, but by the time the following weekend rolled around, I was thinking more about the ride. After the first few weekends, I learned to cope with it crashing and craving, but the guilt was always there. If I wasn't addicted, I was exhibiting addictive behaviour. A specialist would probably say they're the same thing, of course, but things weren't falling apart around me due to these behaviours, so I continued.

I wasn't actively looking for meth, far from it. With all the bad press about it, I had decided to pass on it. The devil's drug. Highly addictive. Widespread usage, must be good, I thought. Easy to get, ok that's good. A little is all you need? Now we're talking. Who wouldn't be curious?

As it turned out, one of my friends began dating a meth hookup. They both described the stuff in terms that any coke head would relate to immediately. No crash. No craving. None. A gram could last a month for a weekend user. The high was described as a very pleasant rush, followed by up to 8 hours of alert, wide-awake but at the same time altered state of mind. The rush feels a bit like E, which I was familiar with, but not as strong, they said.

The dealer chopped up my taste test and slid it across the table. I looked at it and said 'You're kidding'. Where was my monstrous first set of rails? The amount was tiny compared to even a small line of coke. A gram would definitely go a long way, I reasoned. The comment from my friend put things in perspective. 'You'll be up for days if you do much more'. Good advice. So up it went.

Ah, the burn. Unpleasant if you're not prepared for it. Worse than the burn from bad coke, for sure, but still manageable, and it faded after about 15 seconds. My eyes teared up as well, but that too passed. When the effects hit, within 5 minutes, I felt the similarity to coming up on E. Very pleasant. Excellent in fact. Too bad it didn't last 4 hours. After around 15 minutes, I think, the rush subsided into a calm and alert state. A really excellent introduction. Similar to E which is no surprise since they are both methamphetamines. After a while I had a beer, which tasted great. No dry mouth, just a bit of burn in the back of the throat. My palms were sweaty, more so that on E or coke. That was really only side effect. As the minutes turned into hours, I was looking for that first sign of a craving or any sign of coming down. Nothing. I still had the high. There was no reason to do more. Prior to the bump, my friends had remarked 'Once you do meth, you never go back to coke.' An interesting comment coming from a couple of veterans of the white. As I settled in, I understood their remark.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

All too soon it was time to leave. Riding home was easy, alert, focused. No wonder this shit has been popular with long haul truckers for years', I thought. Gives new meaning to 'Six Days on the Road'. And as for all the guys on the road with 10 Jack and Cokes in them, well...no comment.

Another Saturday. Another sunrise. Once home, I certainly didn't feel like sleeping, so I went about a normal day. House work, web surfing, dog walking, etc. I had another couple of bumps late morning. A nice refresher, but probably not necessary. Lesson learned. Late in the day, I felt a bit tired from time to time, so I lay down for 30 minutes or so. By 5 pm I was texting my friend 'When will I sleep?', half joking, half serious. The response came back 'Just lie down, you'll drift off'. It worked. By 5:30pm I was sleeping. I woke up later and looked at the clock. 'Shit, is it Monday?' I felt so good, like I'd slept through Sunday entirely. No, just 3 hours, but I felt great. It was Saturday night.

By 11:30pm I was downtown. I did a bump and felt the rush. I headed in to a club and talked to a few people. Had two drinks, wandered around downtown, then called it a night. But not before another bump. Again, very nice, but not entirely necessary. Once home, I sure didn't feel like sleeping, but TV and the computer passed a few hours.

Sunday was very chill. I lay down when I felt like it. Did a few chores. Snacked on food even though I didn't feel hungry. I noticed that food was a lot easier to eat since I had no drymouth. Water and sports drinks, too. My urge to eat was definitely gone, but eating and drinking were quite pleasant. I also had a couple of showers. The shower felt awesome. My research had previously found the fact that tweakers often don't shower or bathe for many days. I'm surprised, it worked for me.

A couple of times on Sunday I thought of doing another bump. Not to fix a urge, but to repeat the ritual. Instead of another bump, I lay down for 1/2 hour. It worked, what I really needed was a bit of rest. Now that I knew just how powerful this drug was, I also knew that another bump would have set me up for a real shitty Monday.

By 6pm Sunday I was completely down and by 9pm soundly sleeping. I woke up Monday at 7am feeling 110%. No guilt, no loss of a day, and lots of leftovers in the baggie for next weekend.

Positives

Great rush
Nice, long lasting high
No craving
No crash
No congestion
Very low cost per bump
Can drink in moderation
Good mental state, alert, awake, functioning, in control

Negatives

The burn
The sweats
Some teeth clenching, but not a much as E

Things I did which might have led to a positive experience

-drank water to compensate for the sweats
-ate a little food regularly
-took a shower
-rested when I felt like it
-cleared my schedule so I had the whole weekend available

I'm no expert on addiction, but I can now easily see the dangers of the ritual with meth. If you do bump after bump of this stuff, chasing the high, not only will you be awake for many days, but you'll build tolerance, which in turn will make you do more and more. Not good. Keep it fun.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 46650
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 16, 2007	Views: 42,634
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