DOSE:

1.5 leaves

smoked

Salvia divinorum

(ground / crushed)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

Sitting at home, playing around on the computer, I was overcome with an urge to get high, to trip, to alter reality psychedelically with absolutely anything I could. I love psychedelics, so I didn't question this at all (yet). I thought over the contents of my drug briefcase - a couple dimes of weed (which, for various reasons, I was definately not going to smoke) and a bag of dried Salvia Divinorum leaves. Normally, I don't even consider Salvia, but I thought about it this time. It appealed to me.

So I went and got out my briefcase and was about to open it when I stopped myself. Why was I doing this? Salvia isn't a fun trip at all, there is absolutely no euphoria. So, I must have a reason. But, what is it? My girlfriend? Nope, didn't have any issues there. My drug use? No, not really. My religion? The stuck something faint. I had recently elaborated an enormous amount on my beliefs while on marijuana and, while I believed it intellectually, I hadn't really been able to absorb it and understand it emotionally - I didn't really feel it. I wanted to change that, and what better way to display religion than entheogens?

I built a makeshift (like MacGyver!*) bong out of a water bottle and an old wooden pipe, packed a leaf and a half of crushed dried Divine Sage (usually called Diviner's Sage, but I hate the way that makes it sound like the shaman is the instigator, controller, and content provider for the experience. I think He is not - the Universe is) into it, and took a hit.

Then another one.

Then another.

And another. And another, and another, and another. I felt the first effects, my limbs seperating and the filter that I normally perceive the world through being dropped away, piece by piece, like a shattered window. I lay down on a mattress, continuing to hit the Salvia until exhaling was too bizarre an experience to keep up.

I shut my eyes. Beings of all sorts towered over me, argued with each other near me, danced and laughed and played. I was a swimmer, I was a little kid, I was sideways. A toy next to me came to life. Then I realized that all the other beings who were doing things around me were the personalities of the objects in the room... my bong, my couch,
my computer, my drum kit, my ceiling lights, my windows.

No! No no no, I had to CONCENTRATE on my purpose for being here! Getting an emotional understanding of my spiritual beliefs! All this stuff, it's quite distracting. But, I have to fight past it, ignore it, and... wait...

This was exactly why I had done the Salvia in the first place. I gasped - I added a serious, definate intention to the trip, and Salvia did exactly what I asked of it. I was so grateful. Now I understood how overly euphoric things, like Psilocybin, could be used entheogenically - because you add an entheogenic purpose to them, and that's what they do for you. If you have an honest intention, psychedelics will be happy to play it out for you. Otherwise, euphoria, fun.

Nothing else to do, so you get random things thrown at you, and many people find this fun. To add to this, you get euphoria, to ensure that you understand the power of the drug, even if you give the trip no purpose. Otherwise, why would you come back with a purpose? You'd think the drug did nothing, and look elsewhere. Salvia has no euphoria. I have experimented with it simply because I have it. But, I had always been using it without a reason, just letting it play, and I ended up with mainly just feeling very hot, having major problems with my motor control (due to the initial fractalling and removing of your perceptions), and very minor not-really-open-eye, not-really-closed-eye, more 'mind's eye' visuals.

A thought struck me - it'd be interesting trying to do something basic, like getting some food or water, while under the influence of Salvia. So I got up and headed down the hall. Into the bathroom. The mirror seems normal enough, aside from a small perception shift looking downwards into it. I look at the electricity outlet, contrasted on its wallpaper background, and I see them as two different layers, like things appear through a ViewFinder. Then, I realized that these things ARE on seperate layers, as anyone familiar with computer graphics can visualize. I left,
skipped the drink and food, and headed back out into the hall.

I collapsed onto my knees on the carpet. The world, coming tearing, racing and screaming at me through my eyes and ears, it demanded that I give my full attention to a billion different things - the carpet, the wall, the light, the doors, the cats' food dishes... I dropped to my knees, covered my ears and closed my eyes. It was so hard to deal with all this stuff that I pass by every day without giving even a first thought. Now, I saw the personalities in every object. And energetic, determined personalities! They all had purposes, and they were trying as hard as
they could to fulfill them. They screamed at me to help, but I didn't realize what they wanted at the time.

You can't see these things all the time, because of how overwhelming they are. So, our perceptions filter reality, just to dull it a bit. Our perceptions let us put things into smaller groups - piles of rocks, forests of trees, planets of rock - instead of how we would group reality without this filter - everything. We wouldn't see a division among collections of things, we would instinctively know the connection between things, while seeing their individuality even more. As if a glass layer seperates everything, and when things interact, the two layers are merged, and when they discontinue interaction, the layers seperate again. The shapes of their contents may be different (as in an eaten apple - the core is discarded, and so separates from the eater... but the eater keeps the apple's flesh in his stomach) but this change makes no difference, because the two are connected through their energy, even if not physically connected.

This is how smaller cells can form organs can form beings - when the cells join together, they merge into one thing. The organs join together in a system, becoming one thing. This doesn't happen in systems like human society, however, because we don't truly, deep down, support and want the society to function perfectly, for the benefit of the society as a whole. Our system is not natural, has no intent, and is moving towards nothing but its continued existance. So, it fails.

Everything in life needs a real purpose if you want the Universe to help you out with it.

* - please note that I have never seen MacGyver, never seen an advertisement for MacGyver, never spoken to anyone about MacGyver, and generally never known, through whatever mode of communication, any part of any MacGyver plot, or a similar plot.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 4848
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 8, 2002	Views: 7,461
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), General (1)