DOSE:

repeated

insufflated

Cocaine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

155 lb

I began using cocaine about 6 months prior to this experience. During this six month period, I was an avid cocaine user and everytime before this one was a great time. But this time was completely different.

That day began with me waking up around noon, showering and then blowing the last couple lines of what I had left over from the night before. This was a good buzz but it didn't last long at all due to my high tolerance to the drug. I knew I had to get more, but I didn't have much cash left, so I only bought a twenty bag at about 2:00 PM. After blowing that pretty much right away, I needed more. Over about the next 10 hours I kept going back to my dealer and buying 20 bags, 30 bags, and eventually everything he had left.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
After this all ended, it was about 3:00 in the morning and I decided to head home and get some much needed sleep. But I had no idea what I was in for. I had done so much that the ride back to my house was very difficult, I could barely even see the road (literally). Everything was very spotty and I found it very hard to keep my eyes open. I made it back to my house after what seemed like an eternity and as soon as I went inside I chugged a few glasses of water because of my extremely high body temperature.

When I went up to my bed, as soon as I layed down and turned the lights off, my heart started racing like it never had before. I started to feel very sick to the point where I wanted to throw up, but I never ended up doing it. My entire body was shaking, I couldn't control any of it. My body was getting really hot and I couldn't stand it. I was burning up, sweating like crazy and I couldn't even get myself to stand up to get any water or a wet cloth. Laying in my bed, heart racing and my entire body shaking I knew I had taken too much, but it was too late. As I looked around my room, I noticed that everything was going black and fuzzy even when I had turned a light on. The edges of my vision was black and began getting closer and closer to the point where I could barely see. I felt as if I had let the blackness take over my field of vision, I would have died.

At this point I did everything I could to get myself to feel better. I had dragged over a fan and placed it literally inches away for my face hoping to cool myself down. If I focused on one thing for too long, my vision started to get black again so until about 7 in the morning I laid in my bed with my eyes darting from thing to thing hoping not to die. I was honestly more scared than I had ever been in my life. I started to think about what was going to happen if I really did overdose and what my family would think. It got to the point where I considered calling 911 on myself so I reached over and grabbed my phone. I was laying there, shaking, staring at my phone trying to collect myself before I made the decision to get the hospital, the police and my family involved. The last time I remember is laying in my bed huddled up in a ball trying to stop myself from shaking and praying to God that I would live. I remember saying 'God, If you let me survive this, I promise you I will never touch cocaine again...' I broke down, I started to cry and beg for my life back, I knew I had completely fucked up and this wasn't how I was supposed to be living.

Shortly after that, I fell asleep (which I don't remember even coming close to falling asleep, so I must have blacked out for a bit). I woke up the next morning in disbelief that I was still alive and not in a hospital. I was so happy to be alive it was unbelievable. Since then I have never touched cocaine again or even thought about it. Even though I was doing it for so long, my will to live drowned out any of the withdrawl symptoms, I didn't even want to do it ever again, No second thoughs about it.

I had many funs times with cocaine, but I wish I had known my limit and stuck to it.

[Author reports insufflating a total of 2.5 grams during the entirety of the experience]

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 50749
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 22, 2019	Views: 4,870
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Cocaine (13) : Difficult Experiences (5), Addiction & Habituation (10), Overdose (29), Alone (16)