DOSE:	1.5 tablets	insufflated	MDMA	(ground / crushed)
	3 tablets	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

235 lb

It is true: SSRI Antidepressants seriously diminish the effects of E. I am a 19 year old male, currently taking Fluvoxamine (Luvox) for depression. I was a steady cannabis smoker for two years (quit due to high tolerance and loss of insightful experiences), and am heavily addicted to snorting ritalin and cocaine. I had never tried MDMA until a week ago. I am an emetophobic (fear of vomiting), and suffer from a panic disorder centralized around this fear. Thus, any new drug I try requires excessive consideration before I will ingest it. I had never tried a hallucinogen (other than cannabis) due to the probability of an induced panic attack. One night, having run out of ritalin (to which, as I said before, I am SERIOUSLY addicted), and in a usual state of inter-prescription purgatory, I decided to try E.

I had been doing coke to substitute the ritalin, and the cost was weighing heavily on me. Thus, MDMA at five dollars a pill seemed like a good deal. I had done extensive research on MDMA and had decided that the potential benefits outweighed the risks. Thus, I bought a pill and took it. Now, being very cautious with any new drug, I broke the pill into quarters, originally intending to take just one and see if I would feel anything. An hour passed and nothing, so I took another quarter. Felt a little something, but I was watching my physical and mental state very closely, and it seems harder to get high when you're expecting to get high. So, I took the other half...

Not much happened. Disappointing, but I attributed it to my pussyfooting around with the dosage. Two days later I bought another pill. This one I divided in halves, taking each half about an hour apart. This time I felt something. I couldn't call it euphoria but there was a much more pronounced sense of concentration and purpose (a feeling that is entirely lacking for me without a stimulant). Now, since I was using MDMA mainly for its stimulant properties, this suited me fine, but it was rather weak. I did, however, have a good emotional experience watching American Beauty, and decided that I would take MDMA again. Two days later, I bought two tablets. I swallowed one whole right away. About an hour later I started to notice a happy feeling, and (it must have been working, because my normal cautious state of mind would never have allowed this), I decided to break the other pill up and snort it. I am use to snorting ritalin, coke and meth, and have come to have a psychological association with the burning feeling in the nose, the nasal drip, and the very nature of the high. I crushed up one quarter and snorted it. It burned a little, not too bad. Then, having had a cigarette, I crushed up the other quarter and snorted it. I went upstairs to have another cigarette, carrying a copy of Edgar Allan Poe's stories with me..

I didn't notice anything whilst I was reading and smoking, but when I stood up I felt a crazy rushing feeling and was in a noticeably different state of consciousness, feeling lightheaded and lightfooted. The euphoria had kicked in now, and I was feeling good, which offset any anxiety that the mild hallucinogenic effects would have had otherwise. I came downstairs feeling dizzy, and I noticed that if I focused my eyes up close and read, the feeling went away, so I did. For the next hour I was in a purely euphoric state of mind, but, I must say, it was by no means the state of extreme euphoria described by so many Ecstasy users. I didn't feel like hugging everyone, or that everything was perfect. At best, it was a very good speed buzz with a strange psychedelic tinge. In fact, I remember a few times when I did coke and cannabis together, and the effects of the E seemed remarkably similar. Thus, it did not strike me as a unique experience.

Soon that high wore off, a high which I now realized was underscored by the effects of the tablet I had taken orally. I snorted the other half, with the exact same effect. About an hour later, the insufflated doses were wearing off, leaving me in a good mood, but still feeling unfulfilled. I asked myself, did I not do enough? should I have done the snorted pills right after taking the oral one? where is the love I've heard so much about? So, I called up my dealer and purchased another two pills. This time, I snorted one full pill directly and felt a great speedy effect, underscored by the same minor psychedelia, but lasting only some 30 minutes. I realized that the oral dose had worn off and was no longer underscoring the insufflation. So I took the next pill orally. This dose lasted for some three hours, during which I was mildly stimulated with absolutely no mind-altering effects. It just felt like I'd taken a nice dose of speed. Soon the effects wore off, I called again and got two more pills. Took one orally, snorted half of one, and still had a half left. Effects were the same as I've described. Now, I'm sitting here at 2:00 in the morning, my last dose having been taken two hours ago, and wondering, 'What the fuck?'

For me, E has just been a more interesting form of speed (not that I mind that, I love speed), but I have felt none of the characteristic empathogenic/entactogenic qualities. What do I attribute this to? My antidepressant, Luvox. Luvox is an SSRi, which acts upon serotonin receptors in the brain in a pattern very similar to MDMA. There are plenty of warnings that taking MDMA with an SSRi may diminish the effect, and, unless I just have an incredibly high tolerance to the drug, after 5.5 pills in twelve hours and little to show for it, I'd have agree. Assuming I don't wake up with a hangover tomorrow, I'm sure I'll do E again, if only for the reason that it's cheaper than coke. I don't doubt the possibilities of MDMA or the fantastic tales told by other users; rather, I think my medication renders me a poor candidate for the rave scene and blocks many of the more exciting aspects of E from me.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 51822
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Oct 1, 2009	Views: 19,659
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Pharms - Fluvoxamine (297), MDMA (3) : Alone (16), Multi-Day Experience (13), First Times (2), General (1)