DOSE: T+ 0:00	3.0 mg	oral	DOC	(liquid)
T+ 4:30	7.0 g	oral	Kratom	(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

The other night I decided that I would continue my exploration of the long-lasting psychedelic amphetamine, DOC. I've noticed that with this drug, each experience has started exactly where the previous one left off, and it has gone from being a rather light and superficial trip to being extremely psychedelic, mentally intense and serious, not to mention shockingly visual. Allow me to relate to you my account of the night, during which I will attempt to communicate my thoughts on the experience.

At about 11:30pm on Friday night in late spring 2006, I ingested exactly 3mg of DOC in a liquid solution of 50% distilled water and 50% ethanol. I held it under my tongue for a few minutes, and then swallowed. I had just eaten a sizable dinner at about 8pm, but I wasn't really concerned with that because I've found food in the stomach to have very little, in any, effect on the onset of DOC, perhaps because I always attempt to absorb it sublingually first. As always, my body underwent a slight energy shift almost immediately. I went upstairs to lay down in bed with my girlfriend to come up, and began to watch David Letterman.

Man, Letterman has really gone downhill. He's a mess these days! He's not even remotely funny anymore; he just looks extremely uncomfortable and depressed. He constantly makes disparaging remarks about himself, and anything there's a segment or joke that isn't very funny (which is often), he announces with an embarrassed tone how lame it was. News flash, Dave: that only makes it worse. I wonder what's going on in his life, to make him fall out of grace so badly?

Well, after Letterman, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson came on, which is a much more hilarious show, with a much more talented host, who constantly alludes to being on drugs. He seems to understand that a lot of people watching his show at 12:45am are going to be fucked up, and he seems to allude to psychedelic drug consumption quite often. I really enjoyed this show, but didn't get to watch much, because like last time I took DOC, I was hit with my first intense wave at about T+1:00, or 12:30, right before Craig Ferguson came on. Already by this point, my visual field was considerably altered, with objects all around the room and even the room's dimensions themselves constantly morphing and crawling and changing proportions. I began to get uncomfortable with watching TV around 1:00am, so I got up and went out to my car to get my CDs and begin listening to some good, meditative music, namely a mixed CD of Shpongle, Mystical Sun, Entheogen, and Infected Mushrooms, along with Herbie Hancock's 'Chameleon' and Phish's 'You Enjoy Myself', the live version from their album 'A Live One'. Good stuff. The outdoors seemed like a strange and alien world to me. The sky, which should have been dark purple/blue to black, was striped with shifting bands of color, like a dark version of the full spectrum of light. The stars were being randomly connected by electric flashing lines which crawled all around the sky, constantly arranging the stars in bizarre constellations. The trees appeared to be alternating between blowing hard in the wind - which was in fact a very light breeze - and then seeming to decay. I started to feel a little paranoid because I live in an apartment complex with over 300 people living nearby, so I hurried back inside.

But wait! What's this? After I got back inside with my music collection, I went to where I had left my CD player, and I found out that it wasn't there. I looked all around the house, but I was unable to find it. Well, that sucks... but there's a very psychedelic song which is the first on the CD I wanted to find, called 'Something Very Pure' by Mystical Sun, that is playing on repeat in my head so clearly that I might as well be listening to it. At no point in this trip did I actually experience the total silence that was actually surrounding me; indeed, my head was filled with noise the entire time.

At this point, at about 1:30am, or T+2:00, I sat down at my computer to begin reading salvia divinorum trip reports, as I really enjoy reading a report or two about very intense psychedelics, especially ketamine and salvia, when I'm on DOC, as it gets my mind stimulated to start thinking about heavily altered states, both ones I haven't experienced and ones I have. DOC really allows me to get drawn into experience reports, I've found, and experience the viewpoint of the author in a very unbiased way, which gives me a great understanding of their own experience without actually having experienced it myself. This time was no exception. I started reading a highly-rated and relatively new salvia report. As is typical for me on DOC, it really took a very long time to read through it, or seemed to. Time becomes immensely dilated for me on this drug, and the peak seems to last both a very long time, while I'm in the experience, and seems to pass by in a flash when I look back on it later, afterwards. DOC's shift in time perception is quite unique, in my experience, and can be a little disconcerting. A few minutes before this, I had turned on my vaporizer, and at this point, in the middle of the salvia report, I took two hits.

Shortly after those hits, it was about T+2:15, and I was definitely beginning to peak. The visuals were absolutely astounding. Every single thing or surface I looked at was shifting wildly. Objects seemed to attain a very psychedelic appearance if I looked at them for more than a quick glance. If you've ever seen those pictures of a person who slowly descended into schizophrenia of a cat, you'll know what I mean. The first picture is a very lifelike drawing of a cat, by a person who is obviously a skilled artist. Then a few more pictures are created at intervals of time as the person gets more and more insane. By the end, it looks like an extremely alien, angular, and psychedelic cat. This was what every object that I looked at turned into. Since the apartment was mostly dark, I experienced a 'psychedelic soup' effect when looking into dark places, where they appeared to just be dark expanses with pink, blue, purple, and yellow flashing, electric visuals crawling all over them. This made it impossible to actually see anything except in the light, such as the room I was in. I went to the bathroom at one point to empty my bowels, another effect that DOC always has on me, and I noticed that my face in the mirror was rapidly shifting from young to old looking, and my pupils were rhythmically alternating from very huge to normal sized, about one cycle every 5 seconds. They were changing at the same rate on each side. In the bright bathroom light, I noticed there were hanging motes of sparkly light seemingly in midair between every white or light surface I looked at, which added to the visual soup effect. it seemed as if I could reach out and touch them. Also, DOC seems to cause a weird visual effect with me that reminds me of one of 2C-E's common visuals, which is that living creatures, on TV or in person, seem to move jerkily, like in stop-motion animation. They'll be moving normally for a second and suddenly speed up and move very quickly, then slow down again, and then suddenly skip forward a few 'frames'. This is a very cool but slightly creepy effect. When I stopped to actively listen, the noise in my head quieted and I could hear the background noises of the world, but quite altered. It sounded like strange organic machines were outside my apartment, and every noise had a sort of reverberation and auditory repeat loop attached to it. Words on the computer screen became very altered, which is half of the reason it took me so long to read anything; the other half of that is because the mindfuck started in earnest.

Let me try to explain this mindfuck that I get on DOC, because it's the core of the trip (as is usually the case with psychedelic drugs!), and is different from any other psychedelic I've used before. It's as if I become less conscious, but in a weird way. Especially the last few times I've done it, it feels as if my mind is spread out, somehow, and that I'm sharing my consciousness with something else. This 'something else' feels like either a collective consciousness or some form of group consciousness, which is vastly powerful and pretty dark, and seems very alien and reptilian, and occasionally insectoid. As I'm tripping, my awareness fades to the point where this doesn't seem strange to me, but later on, when I look back, it really is kind of creepy. This consciousness sharing my head makes me kind of space out into my head, which is where the mindfuck comes in. It's like I can't possibly keep on track with anything for more than a few seconds, because there are so many other thoughts going through my head that do not seem like my own. After having had time to think about this, it seems as if it may just be my subconscious mind. Several prominent scholars, including Freud, have suggested that the most basic parts of our minds are more closely related to reptiles than any other kind of animal, so this could make sense. However, this is speculation. What I do know is that on my next DOC trip (whenever that is), I will attempt to explore this, by letting go and trying to let that part of my mind take over. What creeps me out about it is that many people throughout the world have reported contacting an alien/reptilian/insectoid consciousness on tryptamines like mushrooms and DMT, and it is reported as seeming vastly powerful and cruel, and many have claimed that it has told them that the human race is an experiment. It's creepy because this consciousness that shares my mind on DOC does seem quite uncaring and powerful and dark. In this way, and in the mental confusion that becomes present during the peak, I've found DOC to be much more like a typical strong tryptamine than like any phenethylamine I've tried, even though it belongs to the chemical family of the latter.

At this point, by around T+3:00 or 2:30am, the body high was getting extremely intense, and it alternated between feeling very good and feeling very uncomfortably stimulating. The body buzz from DOC is kind of like that, I've found; it has this 'vast' feeling to it, and you can definitely tell that it's going to last a very long time. I began to feel alternatingly great and overwhelmed. When I was feeling overwhelmed, I began to think about how this was a little bit too intense, and the extreme mindfuck did not help. I noticed at this point that I had been attempting to read the salvia report for about an hour, now, and hadn't even gotten halfway through it. Reading about salvia filled me with a strange, intense, foreboding feeling. I had gotten stuck on the most intense part of the trip report, where it described a void, a rent in the fabric of reality, which is a pretty common salvia effect. It felt like my mind was touching upon this same void, and it was filling me with a sort of awesome fear. I can't fully explain this part, because my mind was too altered to really remember the specifics of it. But I felt something very profound that my mind was touching in its expansion. I started thinking about my recent theory that sort of came together as a result of my reading, my 2C-E +4 experience 'Beautiful and Terrible +4', and my ketamine experiences. I realized that this void was probably the same one I experienced on 2C-E, except from a different angle. It is the void that the universal consciousness which we are all a manifestation of would experience if it didn't have the infinite subjective experience of all the creatures and energies of the universe that it is inhabiting simultaneously. In other words, the void is what is experienced when one truly 'wakes up' into the thing we all truly are, which is the singular consciousness that exists, the only force of consciousness in existence, because this consciousness is pure energy and is unable to perceive without experiencing itself in a limited, physical form.

Anyway, this continued for a while, until 4:00am, or T+4:30, when the intensity became too much and I decided to ingest 7 grams of kratom. Normally, I save kratom for the comedown of a psychedelic experience, but with DOC, I find that it really doesn't affect the intensity of clarity of the trip much at all like it does with many others, but it does serve to lighten the body load and relieve my anxiety. After I took the kratom, it was almost T+5 hours as I started to feel it, and I decided to go lay down in bed, because laying down and closing my eyes on DOC is quite an adventure. I laid there foe an indeterminable amount of time, practically forced into a deep, semi-conscious meditation by DOC's intense mental effects. The closed-eye visuals consisted of rapidly flashing and crawling, colorful patterns, which ones which never really took on a distinct form. Still, they seemed to be telling some sort of story or bringing me on a journey, which made sense at the time but which I now cannot recall any of other than vague impressions. Actually, it was much like the streams of free-association that happen as you're starting to fall asleep, that if you wake back up and think about, seem like total nonsense, but which at the time seemed to make total sense.

Before I knew it, it was 8:30 in the morning, and my girlfriend was starting to wake up. I'm unclear whether I slept at all or not. On DOC I seem to fall into a semi-conscious meditation state when I lay down for extended periods, where I feel somewhat rested but I feel that I never fully fell asleep because some form of abstract consciousness stream persists through the night. It basically felt as if I floated away from my ego entirely and experienced a totally abstract existence for an indeterminable amount of time. I looked outside from my perch in the bed, and it was very bright. My visual hallucinations were still very much in effect, but had a different character from the previous night. I find that, in daylight, DOC's visuals are much more subtle in color shifting properties, but are also much crisper and distinct. As I looked outside, the lush trees seemed to morph all around and sparkle with crisp fractal patterns. All of nature seemed to be alive and moving, and the world looked amazingly cheerful. I still had a body buzz that was almost as intense as the night before, but the mental effects were much reduced. I felt almost totally myself again, with only a hint of the creepy alternate consciousness I had been in hours before.

This following day, a Saturday, was a fun-filled day in which I slowly emerged from my fog of intensity and entered into the plateau of DOC that I really love, which is filled with bright mood, clarity, and sociability. My girlfriend and I went out to find garage sales, and of course she drove because I was still hallucinating when we left at about 10am. We made it to several, and I felt rather awkward facing the unsuspecting country folks who were holding them. The last sale we went to, we almost immediately noticed that the people holding it were tweaking hard. Their pupils were gigantic and they were endlessly rattling on about absolutely nothing. Everything we looked at, they made some useless comment about, such as 'Oh yeah, you aint never rocked befoe until you rocked in this rockin' chair, lord have mercy.' (sic) It was pretty funny, until I noticed that they were standing really close to us and looking very nervous. It looked like these people had just taken everything out of their shabby house to try to make any money they possibly could. He offered his light bulbs and lamps and every conceivable thing you could think of to sell me. He was obviously very desperate. We decided to buy a really nice mirror that happened to be there, full length, for only $5. He tried to come to my car to 'help' us, but I firmly declined because I didn't want him coming into my car. All of the neighbors were staring at us suspiciously. It was very weird, but in my tripping state I didn't realize this was going on for a while. Once I did, we quickly left.

I spent the rest of the day watching TV with my girlfriend, the E! channel mostly. Ordinarily I hate TV, especially that channel, with a passion. However, that day, my psychedelically-enhanced mind was finding it a really fitting analogy to humans in general, and I derived great joy from watching the ridiculous shows. I've not laughed so hard in a long time, really. It was great fun. The crawling visuals persisted until about 8pm, which was at T+21 hours. By this point they consisted of just very minor morphing of surfaces, but nevertheless, I was surprised at their duration, because I'd never had the visuals from DOC persist longer than about 12 hours before. It's just further evidence that, for me at least, DOC just gets stronger and more psychedelic every time I do it. I stayed up until about 2am, which meant I had been up without any real sleep for 44 hours, since I woke up Friday morning at 7am. I wasn't really tired, but I just felt the need to try to sleep, and fortunately, I was able to quickly. I drank a decent amount of alcohol, which I rarely ever do, to help me sleep. I drank an amount that usually would have had me sick and passed/blacked out, but under the tail end of DOC's influence, all it did was affect my motor coordination pretty significantly and make me more tired. My mind remained totally lucid, though, and the DOC was still the overriding effect.

Sunday morning I woke up after sleeping for about 8 hours, and I felt great, although slightly hung over from the alcohol. However, it was nothing a small dose of kratom couldn't fix. In conclusion, I keep getting more and more respect for DOC as a tremendously powerful psychedelic. It's quite an enjoyable time, but can get overwhelming at times. I love its long duration and extremely low dose, especially for me, and I love how it gets stronger each and every consecutive time I take it. It is an astoundingly visual chemical with extremely enjoyable visual effects, and it has a very pleasant body high for the most part. It doesn't seem to ever cause any nausea whatsoever for me, and the body load consists of an intense buzz, rather than actual body discomfort or nastiness like many psychedelics cause. It's one downside, if you can call it that, is that its mental intensity makes it hard to remember some of the specifics the next day, but I have a feeling I'm just not channeling the energy properly. I'm not sure when the next time I ingest it will be, but I do know that I am going to focus very hard on letting myself go, to see if I can fall into the extremely profound state of mind that I keep approaching but never quite reaching. I imagine it might be somewhat frightening, or perhaps extremely frightening, but I long to uncover DOC's secrets. Until then, I wish you, dear reader, happy travels.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 52954
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 29, 2006	Views: 28,699
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Kratom (203), DOC (357) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)