DOSE: T+ 0:00	2 lines	insufflated	Cocaine	(powder / crystals)
T+ 1:00	2 lines	insufflated	Cocaine	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:00	repeated	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes	(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

Let me begin by giving anyone who reads this a little background info. I grew up with a regular dad who was a workaholic and sometimes a little, let's say angry. I'm positive just like every other dad has been. I was mormon till I was 18 by my parents' decision, but because of my strong mormon/christian upbringing I didn't drink till the end of my junior year and then maybe 3 times after that till I turned 18 after graduating.

Through middle school and high school and even in college, I was haunted by a few incidents that happened when I was 11 and 12 years old. My uncle, whom I had grown up loving and respecting till I was 11, sexually molested me. I have always been a very sensitive guy as far as emotional pain goes and these incidents impacted my life with the force of a wrecking ball falling on an ant. I never pressed charges or even brought it up to him until just a few months ago.

I felt like a bitch then until I found the girl of my dream girl and dated her for almost a year. When she broke up with me was when I first started smoking pot. I went from all out mormon (as far as morale goes) to a stoner hating on 'uppers'. I also developed a slight anxiety disorder and became an insomniac. I was basically living a really bad comedown, and for a few months, I ended up cutting myself on my arms and stomach and chest to 'have control over something in your life', said Doc. I'm not trying to pull a pity stunt because I know people have much worse lives than me My dad never severely beat me or anything and my uncle didn't rape me. I'm just letting you know where I'm coming from.

I sold pot for a tiny bit and was arrested last Sunday October like 17th, I believe at almost exactly 12:30 am. And while spending 4 days in jail, I got over any kind of stimulus, even beer. I even prayed in there for once in my life, a sincere prayer to a God I didn't believe in to help me change. I felt enlightened and thought even till a few days after getting out of jail that I had found god.

Well I gave up everything but cigarettes and went back to just chillin with my friends while they got high. Every now and then I would smoke salvia because it's legal. About 5 weeks later, I was with my friend and his girlfriend at the time (he actually went to jail with me), and we were really bored and I asked my buddy what we should do for fun. He said in one of those joking tones that have that serious undertone, 'We could get some coke...haha.' I was surprised by the fact that this drug was even available to me, since I had not yet even considered doing anything other than smoking pot. I got excited for some reason and was very curious about it since because the only time I had ever seen cocaine was in the movies and I can still remember the scene in Forest Gump when Jenny is doing coke and she looks tore up.

Anyway I had also heard a lot of good things about it like how good you feel, pure euphoria. 'Really?' I asked him, and he said yeah if I was down. Keep in mind also that his girlfriend had never done it either. I was down. No high for a month!? I was ready for action, so my friend called his hook, and before you know it, I was watching my friend rack up lines for the three of us in this city on the beach in San Diego where we hooked the sack. At first just me and my friend, let's give him a name, John, so me an John threw 20 dollars each and got a gram of white. I had never seen it before, and it was the most beautiful drug I'd ever seen in real life. The chemical smell made my heart race just knowing I was going to rail this beautiful powder and it would make me happy. Finally, I would be happy...

8:00pm We each railed our 2 lines and I will never forget the way it felt, partially due to me doing it wrong. I thought from day one that you were supposed to breathe it in through your nose, not just sniff it up to the top, so when I hit up my lines, a good portion went straight to the back of my throat. It felt like hitting a bowl of leftover marijuana shake out of a pipe. It was so harsh on me but I loved it. I knew it would get me high. John already felt it. He knew what it was and what it did and how it felt, so he knew instantly when he was lit. Me and his girlfriend, let's name her too, Becky, were a little confused as to how we were supposed to feel and in what areas of the body this drug would hit us. We took off from the spot we were parked in on the side of the road. I was driving, which scared me a little bit. Still can't determine whether it was the coke that was making me scared as fuck or the fact that I was driving with a broken tail light with narcotics in my car and body in a pig-infested city.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

10 minutes later I must admit I was very disappointed. I felt like I had wasted 20 bucks. I had railed 2 lines and felt nothing. I thought coke was a scam. I was a little irritated and I felt like I wanted to fight someone, anyone. I wasn't even angry about anything. That's when I realized it was hitting me. I had done my share of fighting in high school, in self defense mostly, and was completely over it. This was a year later almost and I had become more relaxed and kickback 'Let's go smoke some pot and trip out to good music and be peacefuk' of a person and my agression had become depression. I started to talk to John because for some reason I just had to share everything that was going on in my head. I had to you use my mouth in some way or it would clench a teeny bit too, but mainly I just started thinking of all these things to say. I believe I've had a slight attenion deficit problem all my life. When I try to write down a note in class, halfway through a sentence I just start doodling and tapping both my feet, annoying the shit out of the people around me and causing my grades to slip. That really showed when I would try to speak and interrupt myself 10 times in about 3 sentences.

After about 30 minutes I wanted more. I wanted to reach that euphoria I'd always heard people talking about. We called John's hook again and this time Becky bought 20 dollars worth (.5g) and headed back to where we were earlier. We pulled over in North County SD after driving back from downtown and railed 2 more each. I should probably note that these lines were small seeing as John weighs 135 and it was mine and Becky's first time doing it. John was also doing it for his first time in about 3 months. Each line was between .1g and .2g. My ADD was nuts this time. I felt the best I'd ever felt in my entire life. I was superman. No more pain in my head or heart, just joy. I actually wanted to call my now ex-girlfriend and just tell her how I loved her still even after over a year. I started talking to Becky while John went into a nearby gas station for cigarettes and water. He knew how to keep his cool, so he was the only one going in. After talking with her for 5 minutes I felt like we were best friends. I loved her as a friend and John too. All my friends were my best friend. After leaving the gas station we just drove around and listened to techno and parked by the beach to walk and smoke cigarettes.

10:00pm My OCD was nuts too by now. Every 10 seconds I would have to ask my friends if I had locked my car. 'Are you sure? No one opened a door from the inside after I locked it right? Ok, well lemmie just go n check real quick.' I would check and after unlocking it, checking inside for anything missing, and shutting and locking the door, I would test the handle and make sure again...and again...and again and again and again. Now the passenger door. Check it. Check it again. I ran back down to my friends, which wasn't a good idea. It felt like my heart was going to beat its way out of my chest when I reached them. The whole time running down there I was thinking of what their reactions would be when I told them what had just happened with me at my car, and by the time I reached them about 20 seconds later, I had completely forgotten.

Not too much happened after that that I can remember because I got so blown off the rest of the yay I was retarded. I couldn't organize my thoughts at all, but I didn't give a fuck. I was in my own little atheist heaven. No cares or worries.

2:30am next morning I didn't come down that first time (or the next 2 times), but I'll always remember what happened that night when I was driving back home about a half hour from where we were. I was coming up a hill and I was getting pretty annoyed with the guy in front of me (who the hell is driving at this time of night anyway? It crossed my mind that he could have been coked out too) who was going 35 goddamn mph up this hill and the speed limit was 50mph. I tailgated him for about 10 seconds to let him know I was behind him and he brake-checked me. He looked that type when he turned completely around to glare at me out his window with his wife talking shit through the back window as if I could hear her. I was trippin balls by then. I was still a little yacked out, and I didn't want any trouble, so I gave them plenty of space the rest of the way up the hill.

We got to a stoplight with 2 left turn lanes. While I was coming up to these turn lanes I pulled my nostrils up like a pig nose and snorted really hard, and instantly felt lit as fuck again, so I was back in that not really fighting mode, but I was down for anything. Both of us were turning left, so I got into the lane he wasn't in so I could pass him. The bastard tried to race me in my focus with a beater truck and I got ahead of him barely when the lanes merged (I never said my focus was fast) and he tailgated me and flipped his brights on. I kept my pace even at 65 mph in a 55 and he stayed right on my ass. I slowed down to 50mph so he could pass me and the fucker stayed right on my ass.

By this time I'm freakin out and I called my house to get my dad outside, not even thinking about the fact that I was yacked the fuck out. No one answered, so I called my sisters cellphone and she got to wake up to me yelling at the top of my lungs, 'GET DAD RIGHT NOW! THERE'S A GUY ON MY ASS AND HE'S FOLLOWING ME! TELL DAD TO GET HIS FUCKING 357 OUT NOW AND STAND IN THE DRIVEWAY WHEN I COME HOME! NOW! I'M ALMOST THERE!' Well as soon as I pulled into my street the guy passed me super fast and super close and drove away, leaving a coked out 'Ronas' on his front porch with his dad outside with a fatty handgun. I didn't know till I got inside my room and looked in the mirror that the whole time I was telling my dad this crazy story, my pupils were fucking ginormous!

After the first few times of doing yay, like every other week, it became like pot, where you start to do it more and more. Before I knew it, I had spent most of a 10,000 dollar settlement on cocaine, and later pot too. I became addicted. And for only a couple months, I was doing coke almost everyday. A lot of time I would do it for a week straight from the second I woke up to my last line before bed. I know it's not that intense but when I did 7 grams in 24 hours was when I said 'No way how did it come to this? I'm done' and stopped for about 2 and a half months. Now I do it occasionally but I know to be careful with it.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 54923
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Apr 10, 2008	Views: 38,821
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Cocaine (13) : First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)