DOSE:

360 mg

oral

DXM

(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

I would describe my overall mindset as normal. I have never suffered from hallucinations, heard voices that weren’t there, or experienced anything else that would be considered out of the ordinary… even under the influence of mind-altering substances. I am 5’8”, weigh 150 lbs. and have no known health problems. I am a young adult, but will not bother stating my sex or exact age only because I do not believe that they had any bearing on this particular experience.

Although I do not condone the use of ANY drug other than those required for health purposes, I will list my previous experiences only to further convey this message. I used alcohol and marijuana recreationally for years. I have experimented with cocaine, psychoactive mushrooms, opiate-based painkillers (including methadone) and even Benadryl® on occasion. I have always had a relatively high tolerance to these chemicals. For instance, I once ate two eighth-ounce bags of ‘shrooms and got a mild case of the giggles, while my friend (of similar weight and age) tripped his face off from ONE bag.

I have also taken the same dosage of DXM several times before, and considered the experience to be interesting, introspective and generally enjoyable other than some brief moments of confusion. Last night however, something went terribly wrong for no apparent reason, which is why I will never touch this substance again!

There was nothing about the setting that would be considered risky in terms of the potential experience. I had not taken anything else this day. I was in a happy, relaxed mood with nothing weighing heavily on my mind. I had the place to myself all evening with no obligations the next day. I ate a light dinner, drank a 4oz. bottle of Robitussin® Cough (containing 360 mg. of DXM) and engaged in basic low-stress activities such as straightening up my room and reading a celebrity gossip magazine while waiting for the onset of effects.

Usually I begin to feel the first signs of intoxication exactly an hour and a half after ingestion, which I would describe as a general euphoria similar to that from drinking several glasses of wine. This time however, I noticed a change after only a little over an hour, and it was NOT a good one. I suddenly began to panic over nothing in particular, which was accompanied by a rapid heartbeat and the uncomfortable feeling of burning heat throughout my body.

I immediately began trying to reassure myself that it was just an adverse effect of the drug, and that therefore I could control it. I was very wrong! The next two hours were without a doubt the most terrifying of my life. Although all of my senses remained intact (for instance, my vision was not blurred or doubled and I could still walk normally), my entire sense of rationality was completely gone. I could not comprehend who, where or what I was… or if “I” even existed at all.

I frantically paced around my room, repeatedly touching objects in an attempt to remind myself that everything was still real, but nothing helped. I could see and feel my floor, I could smell the wood and hear it creaking beneath my feet… but it was no longer a “floor” to me. It had become nothing more than some frightening illusion that I could not put into literal terms no matter how hard I tried. Every perception of the physical realm that I ever had was no longer available. I cannot even stress enough how WRONG everything felt.

It seemed as though I was merely the receptor of some random, misfired data that held no meaning whatsoever… like for some unknown (at least to myself) reason, I had become SOMETHING where there was supposed to be NOTHING. At the same time though, I WAS nothing. This does not even come close to describing the complexity of the situation, but it is the best way that I can convey the experience with my knowledge of the English language. I felt utterly alone, helpless and scared beyond comprehension.

This continued for two long and seemingly endless hours. I kept checking the clock to see how much time had passed, but the concept of “time” no longer existed either. Every so often, I would have one fleeting second where I felt as though maybe there was a chance of this all just being a temporary “trick of the mind”, which was probably the only thing that kept me even remotely grounded to my own sanity. When this occurred, I could quickly calculate how much longer it would probably last based on past experience. However, I could not grasp the concept long enough to bring me any real comfort, and I would instantaneously be right back where I had been (mentally speaking) two seconds earlier.

The first glimpse of normalcy that I had was when my fears began to become rational ones. Without immediately noticing the change in my thought patterns, I started worrying about things such as dying, going insane, or being found in this horribly-altered state by a loved one and trying to explain it without worrying THEM. Although these feelings were just as intense, they actually made SENSE to me. Once I realized that, I began to slowly regain my grip on reality. Even so, it was “touch and go” for the next hour or so. I had to keep silently repeating phrases to myself like, “Everything’s ok now” and “I’m still here”, and wrote them down on paper as soon as I was able to comprehend how to physically do that and why I should.

I still felt slightly anxious and disoriented for several hours afterwards, but it did not really bother me since I knew that the worst was already behind me. I went to bed at my normal time but could not fall asleep for a couple hours later than usual because I just kept on thinking about the whole experience, and how I wanted to write this all down and post it as a warning to others.

I honestly believe that this, NOW, is reality… that these words really exist on my computer screen, that my computer screen really exists, etc. My reasoning is as follows: We are all designed to live on substances such as air, food and water. In most cases, except for those of true mental or physical illness, those are basically the only things that we need to survive and perceive things in a rational manner other than sleep. Nobody that I know requires excess amounts of cough syrup to function normally… even if they DO have a severe cough!

The one positive thing that I have gained from this otherwise horrible experience is a newfound appreciation for being clean and sober. There is no other benefit that I can possibly think of that would be worth enduring an ordeal like this. Even the minor physical discomforts (such as the cramp in my fingers from typing so much!) are a blessing to me now, because they confirm the fact that I am REAL. Please learn from my mistakes and take this caution seriously. Thank you for taking the time to read this long yet hopefully helpful report.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 57493
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 6, 2007	Views: 33,019
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DXM (22) : Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)