Overwhelmed With Optimism
Mushrooms
Citation: Red Sky. "Overwhelmed With Optimism: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp58695)". Erowid.org. Apr 8, 2009. erowid.org/exp/58695
DOSE: |
3.5 g | oral | Mushrooms | (pill / tablet) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 155 lb |
Saturday night we were to meet at Mark's house just to hang out and have some drinks. I came right over after work, feeling unusually good. Upon arriving, Mark, Luke, Stan, and Phil (all very good friends), told me that they had just taken their pills about 15 minutes previous (9:00pm). I felt surprised, having thought that it was to happen the next night. There was no pill for me, as I had told them I wouldn't be dosing.
10:30pm - Kelsey, Caitlin, Renee, and Carly come over. They decide they also would like to participate and ask if I would like to. I said probably not but I would get a pill anyway for another time.
11:45pm - The girls get back with the pills and take their doses. I pocket mine, still debating whether or not to participate. However, overcome with desire, I excitedly swallow mine as well.
Mark's house is very cosy and we had a fire going in the living room with The Doors playing over the stereo and an amazing fiber optic light made up of hundreds of strands with beads of light at the ends (which I highly recommend to anyone planning a session). I had taken mushrooms one time previously, also at Mark's house, except I had eaten only one half eighth, so I figured I was in for a bit more intense of an experience this time, little did I know that it would completely blow away my first trip.
Around this time four more guys came over, and I commented on how there where now quite a few people in the house (13). But I figured that there was no use worrying about it and felt confident that everything would go fine. Now about 30, 40 minutes in, I was starting to feel the beginnings. Listening to Riders On The Storm, I just smiled and became enfatuated with the fiber optic light, coined 'The Universe' and rightly so. Although it was a white light, I was amazed at how green it seemed. Next thing I remember the four guys had left and all of us were huddled over by the fire, an intricate mesh of blankets and bodies. By now I had lost most of my concept of time and understood only when I looked at the clock. I was completely stretched out on the floor, my head on Renee. I was looking around the room, and starting to feel just a little bit scared, everything in the room was moving pretty intensely and I could hardly comprehend the numerous colors pulsing around, then changing into other colors.
I think someone had put on The Sounds, and I was thinking that I really didn't want to listen to The Sounds but for some reason felt glued to the floor. Although I was right next to everyone, I was looking away from them all and felt a little bit isolated so I finally stood up to change positions. It was funny because as I stood there everyone was looking right at me, and I felt about 10 feet tall and all of their faces looked like little bunny-rabbit villager people (which is the only way I can think to explain it) and I was their leader. I made a funny 'whoah!' sound, somehow changed the music to Enigma (it was rather difficult to operate my iPod, it had somehow turned a brilliant blue-green and all the artists were jumping away from me as I scrolled), then went and sat down next to my buddy Luke.
I was now immersed in it. My thoughts were jumping around so fast, and at first I got a little worried, but remembered that the key is to just let go, so I did. And as I did, everything that happened or any thoughts that may have seemed troubling suddenly became quite hilarious. In my head, I would keep coming back to a specific idea (this particular one being that I needed to go pee), and then concluded that it was essential to my well being for me to accomplish this task. I went to the bathroom and saw someone's throw up in the toilet and was surprised that it didn't really disgust me, since it would normally. As I washed my hands I knew that this was a room of complete wonderment. There was water flowing all around me, down the walls and the room was emanating an incredible warmth. I was somehow within the sun.
When I returned to the living room I sat next to Carly, and felt like we should never be separated. She asked if we could please never move and I commented an how I was thinking the exact same thing, we were so warm and cozy. At one point someone spilled a glass of water all over my feet, and I was simply thrilled at how good it felt. However, some time after, I came to another specific idea, I was getting hungrier by the second, and if I didn't somehow get food, I couldn't be happy. I came back from the kitchen with a package of Ritz crackers and began munching them. The entire stack disappeared pretty quickly so I went to get the whole box and continued eating, thinking how funny it was that I could eat so much, so quickly. Throughout the whole time I was in the living room, it was really difficult to form speech, and a lot of the time I was simply uttering strange noises and beeps, having thought that I had been reborn and needed to learn a new form of communication. Stan and Caitlin were laying down looking up into 'The Universe' and I was amazed at how alive and colorful it had become. It was rotating almost like a disco ball.
Around 3:00am - From time to time people would get up to go explore other parts of the house, and when they returned it was like they were re-emerging from a dark world of mist and snow. I cannot remember when I finally left the living room, but eventually Mark and I went upstairs to his bathroom, as I remembered from the last time I tripped that this bathroom was really amazing to explore. It has three movable mirrors so that you can reflect yourself seemingly forever. I remembered reading that mirrors can be really great while tripping but might also be terrifying. I watched my face bubble around and morph and emit colors and at first felt a little frightened, but quickly discarded such feelings. I knew that I was just on a drug and there should be nothing to fear. Mark eventually left the bathroom, and I was all alone just staring into my face and the room behind me.
As I stared into my face I was suddenly overwhelmed with peace and contentment. Compared to my time in the living room where I didn't know too much of what was going on, except that I was tripping, I now came to a realization. I was no longer worried in the least about the possibility of getting caught in a bad trip, and suddenly felt totally liberated. I was free to do whatever I wanted. Everything in my world was something to learn from and to experience, and no matter what happened, I would always be fine. I gained a new level of confidence in myself. Standing there looking into the mirror, I felt nothing but complete trust in myself and in whatever I should choose to do in my life.
I called Luke and told him that I figured out everything and asked if he would like to join me. He quickly came upstairs and we both sat on the floor and stared at an orange towell hanging by the shower. It was moving and melting so vividly, we commented on how bizarre it was that in reality, that towell is not moving at all, but our minds make it do what it's doing. I came to a realization about mind and reality that is really difficult to explain, I simply understood it and knew it to be true. I watched the towell form the face of an ape then change into an eagle, a stormtrooper helmet, and many other forms that I can't really recall.
My stomach was starting to not feel so great so I turned and layed down and stared up at the ceiling. There was a round light that I came to focus on and watched in amazement as inside of it I could see images playing as if it were a mini tv screen. I watched a family seated for dinner, and then my father appeared at which I laughed hysterically because I knew that he knew as he looked down on me. Next the Tom Cruise version of War of the Worlds came on and I could see the little scouts exploring throughout the house. I then closed my eyes and entered into a whole new world. I went flying across the canyons of Lake Powell and even went snowboarding, it was all so vivid. The best part was that I could control it all, whatever I wanted to do or go see, I could, I just had to think it and believe it and there it would be. As I lay there the rest of my friends finally came upstairs. I was looking at them with my head upside down and asked enthusiastically how they had figured out how to walk on the ceiling.
~5:00am - Eventually, I went into Mark's room and lay on the bed with Carly, Kelsey and Luke, and as we were starting to come down we talked for a couple hours about all the night's events. As I came down, I felt better than I've felt in a long time. I was completely optimistic and just in overall great spirits. I think we finally were able to get to sleep around 6:30.
I think in comparison to my first trip (being a 3 out of 10), this was at least a 7. I am really glad I decided to join in that night, and now feel more prepared for higher dose trips in the future. I have spent a lot of time over the past few months researching and reading experience reports on erowid, which I believe to be excellent preparation for entering into a psychedelic experience. I hope that you find this report beneficial in some way (sorry for the length). I know I gained a whole new perspective on my mind and even more confidence in myself.
Exp Year: 2007 | ExpID: 58695 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Apr 8, 2009 | Views: 4,645 |
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Mushrooms (39) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1) |
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