DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 tablet	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
T+ 1:00	1 tablet	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
T+ 2:00	1 cig.	smoked	Cannabis	(ground / crushed)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

About a week ago my friend sold me two tablets of ecstasy. They were small white pills with the letter G on one side and an imprint of a naked woman on the other. Otherwise known as, 'G's up Hoe's down.”

This was not my first time using ecstasy, it was my 5th. I had tried other drugs. Marijuana and Cocaine I have used frequently. Heroin is a love of mine but very difficult for me to find lately. I was very excited to use ecstasy again because it had been almost six months since my last trip.

I took one tablet and felt nothing for about an hour. Finally it kicked in. I felt giddy and just wanted to keep talking. But it wasn’t enough, so I chewed the second pill and let the bitter powder enter.

About 45 minutes later I was rolling. I just felt so damn good. It’s probably the only way I can describe it. Me and my friends went down to my basement and blasted techno music. The strobe light was on and I just kept moving. There was a moment where I just stopped and thought about the way I was feeling. I remember feeling that I had never felt so good in my life and I was upset in knowing that I would never feel that good ever again. My friend asked me if it was worth the cash and I replied that it was, undoubtedly. After she asked that question I kept wondering how much that high was worth. What I would do to be in that moment. It was almost frightening what I came up with.

I spent a little while longer just feeling omnipotent. I was happy and loving, which are not some of my common characteristics. I went around repeatedly telling everyone how much I loved them. I did not just say it, I actually meant it with every inch of my body. My love for life and the world was so intense that I wanted to cry tears of joy. I felt warmth in my heart. I felt as though I could do anything or be anything.

My friends left and I was alone for a little bit. Just pacing back and fourth repeatedly not really thinking about anything. I remembered how good it felt to be touched, when I had tried ecstasy before. So I called up one of my friends to come over and for a quick and easy hook up. He agreed but he could not be here until around 8. So I resumed my pacing back and fourth for a couple of minutes when I get a knock on my back door. This is about 10 minutes before he is supposed to arrive. The knocking continues and I feel a rush of panic. I began thinking of the worst possible scenarios. Murderer? Burglarer? It turned out to be two of my friends just playing a trick on me. When I realized it was them I felt almost a huge pull on me. I had been so excited to hook up with that guy and it was all ruined. However, I let them in despite the hatred I felt for them at that moment.

My friends asked me if I wanted to smoke some pot and I was obliged. (I was still very, very high on the ecstacy.) My friend phoned her dealer and he arrived at my house ten minutes later. My friend invited him in, which I was not very comfortable with. The dealer brought in 3 grams and one of my friends rolled a very fat blunt. We stood outside and smoked the blunt. It was huge and took forever to snuff. When it was finally dead, we reentered my home. I was not planning on getting ripped, but I was beyond that. I was stoned out of my mind. Suddenly all of my feelings of love and happiness faced a swift death. I began to feel the exact opposite of how I had been feeling before the marijuana was in my system. Those that I had told I loved an hour before, I began to see them in a new light. I began to feel an immense hatred towards them. I wanted them out of my house more than anything. However, they did not want to leave because they too, were completely stoned. Every word they spoke angered me. Not only did I feel hatred towards them, but I felt as though they hated me back. I began to feel self-conscious and victimized. Spoken phrases kept playing over and over in my mind. I felt as though everyone was angered by me.

Then came the worst part, the paranoia. My friend’s dealer was completely belligerent and almost frightened to drive. But of course, I did not want him to stay in my house so we sent him packing. As soon as he left I kept imagining him getting into an accident and all the blame be on me. I kept thinking of the police finding him and discovering all of the drugs he had in his car. And worse, I kept thinking about him telling the police he came from my home. My mom kept calling my phone wondering how I was doing. I did not pick up because I was afraid I would sound as stoned as I was. Normally talking to my mother is not a problem, however this night was strangely different. Every time the phone vibrated and lighted up I felt as though somebody was screaming at me. Not just my mom and my friends, but everyone on the face of the planet. It’s not the most comfortable feeling.

My mom was about to come home in about an hour so I told my friends to leave. The waves of paranoia kept rushing over me so I decided to fall asleep. Marijuana usually makes me very tired and helps me enjoy a nights rest. However, the ecstasy was still very strong and would not allow me to sleep. I kept thinking about the drug dealer getting in an accident. I imagined the police pulling up to my driveway awaiting my arrest. I did not actually see the police pull up, I more felt their presence. Every five minutes I felt as though I knew they were there and jumped out of bed in a frantic state. I became so paranoid that I went through my purse and hid my stash in various places in my room. I had much difficulty finding it all the next day. I lay in bed the rest of the night, but did not get any sleep. Just laid there, almost unconscious. There was a few times during the night that I “awoke” and realized that I had not been sleeping. And then I just doze off again..

I do not know why I had such a bad reaction to the marijuana. I have never reacted like that before. I will continue to use ecstasy and marijuana frequently. They’re both beautiful alone, just not mixed.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 60743
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 22, 2010	Views: 8,801
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Cannabis (1), MDMA (3) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)