DOSE:	repeated		Oxycodone
	repeated		Hydrocodone
	repeated		Pharms - Promethazine

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

I'm going to begin this report with a lead-in that I've seen quite a few times in experience reports: It all began last December when I had my impacted wisdom teeth removed (sound familiar?). I've been in something of a time warp since then and am, at this moment contemplating taking yet another Vicodin, though I long ago recovered from the pain that urged me to the dentist's office - I took one a few hours ago and am trying to hold off...

Putting my current predicament aside for the time being, I’ll provide a little more context, which I think is important. The Fall semester at college had just ended and two days later my ex-boyfriend and I were to go on a seven-day Caribbean cruise. This seemed a bit bourgeoisie to me but the trip was fairly cheap and I needed to recover from a particularly-stressful experience with finals and term papers. I was excited.

The night before we departed, however, the left wisdom tooth in my lower jaw began aching. I had a feeling that I would be in for an interesting time on the ship. So, the next morning I went to Walgreen’s and stocked up on Orajel and Advil. On the first day of the cruise I experienced horrendous sea sickness, which compelled me to take Dramamine and lay in bed all day, drifting in and out of a sleep haunted by strange dreams as my tooth began to throb ever more. I felt as though I were dissolving, being scattered piecemeal in the waters of the gulf and carried to God knows what strange shores.

The rest of the trip was more pleasant because I did not become seasick again, but I was eating Advils like M&Ms and rubbing Orajel on my increasingly-swollen gums almost hourly. When the cruise ended, my mouth was a (ship) wreck—*two* teeth were now in pain and the cheeks around them were swollen grotesquely, until I could get an appointment with an orthodontist, I took Vicodin which I had left over from a previous prescription.

The point of saying all that is to indicate that by the time I actually went to the orthodontist, I had already been medicated for a week and a half. The day I arrived at her office I was nervous but excited at the prospect of being dosed with nitrous oxide. To my amazement, I was left alone in the surgery room for twenty minutes, inhaling the heavenly gas and meditating. I was disappearing into the chair, sinking further and further down. I cleared my thoughts and became one with the environment. There was no difference between me and the chair, between me and the radio that was playing (appropriately enough), psychedelic rock of some sort…I am the Universe, the undying Self…Kether is Malkuth…Nirvana is Samsara.

“Are you relaxing?” the pretty assistant asked, appearing from out of nowhere. I could only nod in assent. She left and perhaps ten minutes later returned with the orthodontist. They gave me an IV and the next thing I remember is waking up in my parents’ car, vomiting blood and going in and out of consciousness. As soon as I got home I began taking Endocet (oxycodone) and Promethazine—Endocet every six hours and Promethazine every four. I was still too out of it to notice the effects of the drugs. I just wanted to sleep.

Now, the Endocet was prescribed for pain and the Promethazine (a sedative/hypnotic) was prescribed to curb the nausea that often accompanies opiates and opioids. Promethazine also has the interesting effect of potentiating the effect of opioids and opiates, lowering the required dosage. When I woke up the next morning and took my meds, I realized this quite quickly, even though I had not yet read the literature which explained the nature of this match made in downer heaven.

I would like to describe that day because it was truly beautiful and I will treasure the memory of it, regardless of anything that followed. After a night which I don’t remember, the sun rose and, feeling the ache that was returning to my jaws obscured by chipmunk cheeks, I popped the two pills as recommended by the medical professionals. As I got dressed, something began to happen. I felt lighter, and resolved to go outside to enjoy more fully what was coming on. It was one of those cold winter mornings that’s accompanied by a warm sun that makes the frosty air bearable. I was stumbling. I made my way over to the old wooden swing set and sat down, propelling myself gently back and forth. When I opened my eyes, disorienting vertigo. The vertigo was not dizzying. In fact, the apparent motion of the world washed over me like soothing waves of pleasure, like impulses from beyond the unfathomable gulfs of interstellar space.

This was IT, I knew. This was why opiates suck people up. I was in a state of total peace. All of my thoughts and cares melted away as my vertigo grew and grew, taking me further and further away from myself and my puny ego. I decided to try walking again, it was decidedly difficult. I stumbled around the back yard, looking at the field and woods populated by hibernating trees. The ancient spirit of rural Louisiana was coursing through my veins and the world was beyond beautiful. In the opposite direction cars rushed down the road. Where were they all going? It couldn’t possibly matter. I was at peace with everything. Finally I went back inside and read an article about drugs and the religious experience by Alan Watts, whilst listening to the music of the divine Josephine Foster. I wanted this feeling to go on and on. I wanted to surrender to the beauty of dissolution.

I haven’t felt that way again on opioids, even though I have been using them quite regularly for the past couple of months. I take Vicodin and Lortab. I buy them illegally. I suppose I’m not yet a full fledged addict, as I’ve been able to stop for up to five days at a stretch, but I feel increasingly drawn in. I don’t really *want* to quit, even though I know I should. It’s the memory of that wonderful day that haunts and tempts me. How far will I allow myself to be drawn in? I don’t know. But the time to leave this phase of my life behind is fast approaching, and it won’t be easy. I’m entranced.

Exp Year: 2006-2007	ExpID: 61268
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 10, 2009	Views: 32,756
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Pharms - Promethazine (336), Opiates (207), Oxycodone (176), Hydrocodone (111) : Not Applicable (38), Glowing Experiences (4), Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3)