DOSE:

repeated

Pharms - Methylphenidate

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

I always get high alone. I have no one to do it with. I abuse my ritalin prescription all by myself, and I'm quite young as well. Quite young indeed. I find myself behind locked doors attempting to forget. To try to kill all the nothingness. All the pain and loneliness. The fact that I have no future, no friends and absolutely no one that gives a shit.

I just wish there was something out there for me besides this. When my high wears off the pain comes back tenfold. And I can see no point in all in life. I don't barely ever go to school. I've given up trying to be nice to people. I almost never sleep or eat. There is no life for anyone.

In my safe little rich neighborhood they all think I'm fine. There are no drug dealers here. No one non white and few people below the age of 60. Everyone thinks I'm fine, but the truth is I've never done more drugs in my life. I've been lost for so long. And this is all I've found. And its the only way to ever feel better.

I have almost cried on ritalin before because it has made me so happy. Now its hard to hold the tears in whenever I'm high, no matter what is happening. I have found the pain.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 61329
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 10, 2007	Views: 9,821
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Pharms - Methylphenidate (114) : Alone (16), Hangover / Days After (46), Depression (15), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)