DOSE:

oral

LSD

BODY WEIGHT:

105 lb

I am writing this report after reading one by Dave, who described the same problems that I am having. Continuing long after last having taken acid there is this feeling of weirdness or 'the confusion'. Anyone else who can affirm this happening should submit a report as it is a very interesting side effect.

Firstly, the curious thing about Dave's experience and my own are our ages. He writes that he is 15. I am 14. Maybe this has something to do with the haziness that's been affecting us and maybe not.

Now for some background. Over the course of the past month and a half I have taken a total of 12 hits of acid. This has been an incredibly beneficial experience, bringing out amazing amounts of insight and a very definite motivation to become the most successful person I can be. Acid has played an important role in the course of my life.

Now on to the side effect Dave and I have experienced. Ever since dosing, I have felt like there is a haziness to my perception of the world. Things seem different and confusing. Nothing makes any sense, even if I have found an answer and I know it is correct. When everything is explained perfectly, rationally I know that it makes sense, but I still don't understand. It is really hard to put this into words. Imagine the way that it feels when you are trying to figure out if there is a god (bad example, I know). No matter what you believe, even if you are sure you're right, it seems like there must be a deeper meaning to what you've discovered.

I'll try to give a more rational example. Quite frequently I will think to myself, 'How did I get here? Why am I lucky enough to have realized that I can shape my life at such a young age?', to which the answer is 'You simply are. Whether it's random chance, or if you have a purpose, this is how it's happening.'

Alright, sure. The problem is that this answer only leaves me wondering 'Why?' even more. Ever since I've taken acid (all 12 hits were done in the space of 3 weeks), NOTHING makes any sense. Everything seems to have a deeper meaning that won't show itself. Rational answers leave me absolutely baffled.

I feel disoriented. I have no way to place myself and no perspective. Proportions seem bizarre and I feel simultaneously insignificant and completely empowered (let me remind you this is under the influence of no drugs and I haven't dosed in several weeks). Objects won't just 'be'. When looking at a vending machine earlier, it was completely unbelievable to me that it existed. Why does it exist? How does it exist? Well, someone invented it of course. Why did someone invent it? To make money. How is it possible that someone invented it? And so on and so on. My brain absolutely will not stop having questions and I can never feel settled on an answer.

OK, finally words are coming to me to summarize it. Everything, no matter what it is, seems to have a deeper meaning. No matter how far I analyze it, I still can't figure out why anything is the way it is. I feel infinitely curious. Answers are never satisfying anymore. (if I've been rambling these past few paragraphs maybe you'll understand how my thoughts keep tumbling over each other)

At this point, I'm not certain what recommendation to make about LSD. On the one hand, it has led me to completely reforming the way that I am and my life will be a much happier one because of it. On the other hand, this permanent lack of understanding is driving me absolutely insane. The possibility of it being an underlying schizophrenia brought out by the acid (my family has a history of psychosis) absolutely scares the hell out of me.

What makes me satisfied with my decision to take it is this: If I had not done acid I would still be stuck in another type of haze -- not feeling in control of my life. Like so many other kids my age I was drifting aimlessly down the path of normalcy. Now I have taken first place in one of the largest debate tournaments in my state, have pulled up my grades, and am looking forward to my sophomore year. I will definetely continue to do acid, even if the consequence is this always-unsettled feeling.

Hope this was helpful... It's important to document underage use of LSD, as there is currently very little on the subject. I encourage any other kids my age to submit their storys. Thank you to the Erowid team for making this site possible. Now I know I'm not alone in this problem.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 6252
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 18, 2002	Views: 17,105
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LSD (2) : Not Applicable (38), Post Trip Problems (8), Retrospective / Summary (11)