DOSE:

Oxycodone

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

I always wanted to do drugs. The allure. The glamor. The recklessness and of course the feeling of perfection.

The summer before my sophomore year I smoked pot for the first time. Everything else followed soon after. A friend introduced me to cocaine and red lipstick. I started taking my brother's Ritalin up my nose and soon, crystal meth tore into my head. I felt beautiful, productive, thin, happy..everything.

Soon, of course, my body gave it. I woke up after doing 8 lines of meth and couldn't put a sentence together. I stopped seeing my friends, stopped taking drugs, and became 'clean.'

The 'buzz' of natural endorphins and self-satisfaction led on for about a year and then I discovered opioids.

Oxy and Hydro packaged everything I wanted to feel. There was no crash, it made me feel strangely productive, and it made me feel eager to be with people. I felt no sense of longing. Just pure satisfaction roaring through me like a train wrapped in silk and seafoam. There is no pain, no anger, and nothing is ugly. I can feel my spine vibrating and my brain firing at the synapse: 'happy-happy-happy'.

I feel like making love to everyone while writing a book and learning to play the clarinet. It is treacherous how healthy this feels.

Wrapping my hair around my fingers is perhaps the best feeling at the moment and I wish someone else were here to wrap myself in as well. I feel it is my human right to push my brain to this point of pleasure.

Maybe I will take a swim.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 65022
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 28, 2018	Views: 1,099
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Oxycodone (176) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Glowing Experiences (4), Unknown Context (20)