Gentle Warning
GBL
Citation: KB. "Gentle Warning: An Experience with GBL (exp65729)". Erowid.org. Oct 29, 2007. erowid.org/exp/65729
DOSE: |
repeated | oral | GBL | (capsule) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 210 lb |
2:36 am, my eyes are blood shot red. My body is experiencing small withdrawal tremors. It feels like a minor electrical shock is being constantly pulsed through out my whole body with special attention being payed to my forearms, chest, and lower stomach. I had been in bed for just over two hours. Now I awaken unable to sleep with withdrawal symptoms similar to what it feels like to come down off of cocaine, with a few subtle differences, after long and extended usage. If you have ever done cocaine you might agree that even if you have built up a (un)healthy tolerance you might still continue using the substance until it is gone. This feels painfully similar.
I am writing this little blurb, after tossing and turning with overwhelming anxiety and a constant low level state of unease for the last 35 minutes, on my current mental state to distract myself from the overwhelming desire to re-dose. The comedown and withdrawal from this little beauty is very intense and with the solution being to simply pop another cap or three it has been exceedingly difficult to stop. I am almost positive I will fail and have to re-dose to sleep.
I ordered pure GBL a little over 3 weeks ago and I was immediately hooked from the moment that I purchased the item until now. I have been constantly dosing. The dosage has basically been in 1 ML increments measured into gel caps acquired from the local health food store. The frequency rapidly jumped from 1 ml cap three to four times a day to two 1 ML caps every hour to hour and a half, until I fell asleep then I would awaken every two hours to re-dose so I could go back to sleep. All and all, at this point, I am doing a total of 15-20 1ML capsules in a 24 hour period.
The feeling of being powerless to a substance is very humbling. There are easier, less painful, ways to attain humility if that is what one seeks.
The first time I took two caps at once I was in the bathroom throwing up into my toilet. All that was going through my mind was that, Wow, I feel really good! Too bad I am vomiting. Now I take two caps and feel no ill effects. Sometimes, three caps to make sure I feel something. My tolerance and dependence both increased at a rapid pace.
The problem with GBL is that it made me feel SO good when I first started taking it. I thought it was the perfect wonder drug. I don’t want to be overly graphic, but the first time I took it I felt myself rising to an extreme level of sexual arousal and desire. I had to call my current girlfriend that night and give her the what for. It was amazing.
Just a reminder the only reason I am writing this is so I don’t re-dose. That is ALL I have been thinking about while I have been writing. Can I re-dose yet?
I originally started taking GBL to see if it could curb my drinking and reverse my constant feeling of general anxiety and low level depression. I didn’t drink that much, maybe a few beers a night to take the edge off after work with heavier drinking at clubs and bars on the week-end. I am 34 years old. I am tired of feeling like I need to have a few beers every night to unwind. My thinking was that after all the positive, glowing reviews I have read about GBL and GHB that this could be a safer alternative then drinking. So I kept taking it and my desire to drink was taken away. I thought, this is great, alcohol is a poison and is bad for every cell in the body. GBL (GHB) is natural and safe. Could it get any better than this?
Boy, talk about going from the frying pan into the fire. The need to take GBL has completely replaced my need or desire to do anything else. I wake up and dose. I get to work and dose, then have a cup of coffee which slightly counteracts the effect. I dose at about 11:00 am. Then at lunch, then 3:00, then 5:00, then I get home, and for the last two weeks I have stopped going to the gym, and I dose a few more times in the evening until I go to bed and start the whole process over again. The ironic kicker to this little monkey on my back is that I went to a bar tonight with some friends to play darts, and while dosing decided to knock back a few pitchers with the boys. There goes my grand plan to stop drinking. Powerful combination GBL and alcohol. I do not recommend it.
I think I will take an empty gel cap and just roll it around in my hand. I don’t need to fill it with GBL, do I?
During my withdrawal periods I get very tense and irritable. The girl I am dating is always asking me what's wrong and I have to lie to her and say it’s just stress and work. Don’t worry about it. Great, now I am a liar and am hiding my shameful little habit. Even the friends I do it with when we go out have no idea how much I am doing. They do it 2-3 nights a week with me. That seems like a very manageable pace to me. It’s too bad I have the bottle.
The good news is that besides the trembling muscles, anxiety, feeling of shame and powerlessness, tension, short temper, falling asleep in the middle of the day, involuntary twitching, constant mental distraction, and small random muscle aches and pains there is nothing wrong with continued usage of this substance.
To be fair. If you have a powerful sense of self control and don’t keep the bottle at your house where you can take it whenever you want, it is actually very fun. But, if you are like me and do things to the limit and have an addictive personality this is something I would tread lightly with. And, my alcohol intake over the last three weeks has decreased 75%.
After taking mental stock of the situation I am sure I will gradually wean myself off. Until today and yesterday I wasn’t aware or even being honest with myself to the amount I was doing. This stuff really blind-sided me with the need to constantly take it after only three weeks.
I have filled up a gel cap. I am going to take it. It’s easier than tossing and turning for the rest of the night. If you decide to take GHB or GBL be aware that this bad boy can sneak up on you and take a hold fast.
Bon voyage and good luck. FYI - I have filled up one more cap and am going to take that one also, just to be on the safe side.
Exp Year: 2007 | ExpID: 65729 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Oct 29, 2007 | Views: 18,207 |
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GBL (89) : Various (28), Addiction & Habituation (10) |
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