DOSE:

smoked

Cannabis

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

181 lb

I discovered pot when I was a freshman in college. I would say that I smoked pot at least every other day for five years after my amazing discovery and then several times each day for the next five. I decided to quit after about 10 or 11 years into my experience. When I did quit, the first couple of weeks was pretty stressful. I felt like I was emotionally out of control. I alternated from a state of feeling okay/happy to a state of intense crying. (I have never been diagnosed with any type of mental illness.) It took me a couple of weeks to adjust and my feeling of emotional recklessness dissipated. I thought that being “straight” would be boring, but I think I adjusted well. At the time, though, I felt a little crazy. I think some of it was due to not being able to talk about it with many people, because of the illegal status of this plant and because of the negative social stigma associated with smoking marijuana/being an “addict”. Prior to my quitting, I always thought that anyone who said marijuana was addictive and had withdrawal symptoms were insane. After this ordeal, I accepted that marijuana might have some psychologically addictive qualities and that there might be slight withdrawal symptoms; however, quitting marijuana is NOTHING like quitting the nicotine cigarettes!

I did not smoke for a couple of years, I would say, until the past six months or so. I had missed smoking and since I was secure in my job (no drug testing), I decided to relive the enjoyment of yesteryear and light up again. This time was not quite as euphoric as I remembered smoking marijuana to be. After just a few months, it seemed to become a chore. Something that I was compelled to do, but didn’t really have a very good time doing. This past new year, I had only a couple of joints left and decided that I would lay off the herbage once again. It has been about a week now and I have noticed that many of the same feelings are being duplicated. The feeling of being “crazy,” not having any emotional control, anger directed at others, insomnia, etc. are the same as before. I am not saying that all of these symptoms are the direct result of withdrawal, but I would say that the withdrawal plays a part in the funk in which I find myself.

I do feel clearer in my thinking and do not have the added anxiety of “being discovered.” I also feel like I am not numb to my feelings, and whether good or bad, I can experience them out of the pot fog.

I have decided after the second time of quitting, that I will probably not buy any more and not have any quantity of marijuana in my home – if it is there I have to smoke it. I might share a joint with someone later on, but for now, I am okay without it.

[Years: 1999 - 2008]

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 68369
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 29, 2016	Views: 7,141
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Cannabis (1) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)