DOSE:

oral

Cacti - T. pachanoi

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

215 lb

I have been living in a dorm room for the last few years and have kept most of my drug experiences within the confines of my dorm. Last week, though, I decided to get out of town with an old buddy from highschool. He called me and told me about a new thing he had tried and wanted to experience it with me. He said it was San Pedro and told me it was basically a cactus that would get me really high. I had never gone out of the realm of cocaine, pot, uppers, E, and other relative drugs--- so I thought it'd be a fun ride; at least a new one.

We got to his cabin around midnight and talked about our good o'l times. He brought along his girlfriend and said she was the 'watcher' and that it was just a safegaurd. For some reason this didn't (but should have) set any alarms off in my excited state of mind. He pulled out a baggy and it had some dusty looking material that he said he'd crushed up earlier that day. He put it in some herb soup he brought along and we went at it.

The taste was extremely uncanny. Not pleasant at all. I guess if I were to eat a cactus, that is how it would taste... just ground up and shit. So after about twenty minutes I began to get a head rush, but nothing special. I honestly didn't think anything was going to happen except for the rare head rush occurring. I came to the conclusion that my friend Pete was an idiot who ate cactus for a little rush. It was around this point I started to see crap. His girlfriend got a pipe ready for us and we smoked a quick bowl. That is all I usually smoke on a normal day, anyways. After we smoked the bowl of weed (some excellent stuff) the trip really began.

We put on Season 3 of Seinfeld. It was amazing. Seinfeld finally made complete sense to me. All of his stupid remarks, his seemingly useless jokes... I loved it... I loved Seinfeld. He wasn't distasteful. So many out there laugh and laugh over horrible, horrible things. But the fact that this man had the genius to make people laugh over seemingly useless, yet everyday topics, enthralled me to no end. Seinfeld became Guru. Pete's girlfriend, after about an hour of Seinfeld, told me to drink some water.

As soon as I saw the water I knew it was over. There is no connection between seeing the water and what happened next. As soon as I saw the water I turned into a dolphin and jumped into the glass. No shit, I was now inside of this glass looking outward. I saw myself taking the glass as I swam around. The weirdest part about all of this is that I was convinced I was thinking clearly and that I was literally a dolphin, and that all of it made sense somehow--that I had no need to question anything going on... boy was I about to be wrong. I SAW MY FUCKING SELF DRINK MYSELF OUT OF THIS GLASS OF WATER. This is definitely the top weirdest things I have ever seen or experienced in my entire life. I drank myself. I drank my self as a dolphin. Only because I can think back on it now do I have a rough estimate that about 3 hours have passed since I initially ingested the cacti. But yeah, back to the experience.

The next thing I knew I was being transported to a different galaxy. I have a minor in astronomy, so my imagination (if that is what it was) created a very vivid experience for my altered mind. Andromeda is a galaxy that is very close to the Milky Way, so I knew it wouldn't take long to get there. I was still a dolphin, go figure. I reached the new galaxy and suddenly found myself sitting on the couch again watching Seinfeld. I looked over to my left and Pete was peering into the television as if it were some kind of mind-sucking machine. I knew I had to save Pete. This is where my trip goes awry. As soon as I tried to get up I turned into Jason Alexander from Seinfeld and saw myself and Pete watching the television.

This is the weirdest thing (besides myself drinking myself) I have experienced to date. As I watching myself and Pete, Seinfeld walked up to me and told me he was a Guru and told me to turn into a dolphin if I ever wanted to get out. It is at this point that I woke up in the bathroom with vomit surrounding me.

Pete's girlfriend woke up and cleaned my mess up and told me I could sleep on the couch. I told Pete later about my trip while we all sat around the dining table and had some coffee. He said I should post that shit and write it down ASAP. That is what I'm doing. Yeah... what the hell. I think I'll be refraining from this drug for the rest of my time here on Earth. Pot and uppers will be just fine, thank you very fucking much.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 69898
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 26, 2009	Views: 14,414
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Cacti - T. pachanoi (64) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)