Meditating on Love
Amanitas - A. muscaria, Diazepam, Alcohol & Cannabis
Citation: mahaKala. "Meditating on Love: An Experience with Amanitas - A. muscaria, Diazepam, Alcohol & Cannabis (exp69989)". Erowid.org. Oct 4, 2022. erowid.org/exp/69989
DOSE: T+ 0:00 |
15 - 17 g | oral | Amanitas | (dried) |
T+ 0:00 | 10 mg | oral | Pharms - Diazepam | (pill / tablet) |
T+ 0:00 | 375 ml | oral | Alcohol - Beer/Wine | (liquid) |
T+ 0:30 | 4 bowls | smoked | Cannabis | (flowers) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 155 lb |
Thursday March 20th, 2008
12noon I had a cheese sandwich, otherwise no food to date (Sat. March 22, 2008 3:30 AM).
I got an oz of Amanita Muscaria / fly agaric, obtained online. I want to try and paint the fullest picture I can - I did a 1 1/2hr Hatha yoga class in eve. Followed by an hour sweat in a wet steam room (I do 5 or 6 yoga classes a week). Returning home, I set my space and a Sankalp (written statement of intent of why I was about to psychonaut, and what I hoped to gain and learn from this experience, basically it was to open my Heart more and to establish deeper unconditional Love, how to be an outstanding employee at my new job and how to absorb deep knowledge of the Cosmos more rapidly - I heard of this time wave theory with some Universal ripple effect that was taking place @ 2:23 am CST this same night, & @ this time people meditating on Love would send a powerful wave out throughout the Universe).
Thursday March 20th, 10PM
First timer on Amanita Muscaria. I began eating the beautiful red and white specked caps slowly, and listening to my body and mind, I felt the mushrooms were fine and I ate between 15 & 17 grams- maybe more. I also took a 10mg valium and put back a half bottle of red wine. Around 11PM (still feeling quite normal) I smoked about 4 bowls of strong organic bud. Around 11:30ish, I was awe struck @ how magnificent and different I felt –words fail to describe it. I was conscious only for a short time and realized I was completely hunched over and almost falling out of my desk chair and being pulled into this realm of silvery light. I thought it would be a good idea to get to my bed, but never made it. One of the only things I can remember up until 8AM the following morning, was that I was on this train and the conductor was moving and replacing people to areas that better suited them or their Dharma (Truth), and it was all happy and positive.
One of the only things I can remember up until 8AM the following morning, was that I was on this train and the conductor was moving and replacing people to areas that better suited them or their Dharma (Truth), and it was all happy and positive.
8AM
I slowly came back into my body. Sometime in the night I had moved from my desk chair to a bench across the room. I was completely hunched over in a seated position. My thoughts were, “oh my god how fantastic, awe inspiring and magical”. I felt a tremendous energy coursing through my body. I now wonder exactly what was so intense and great…. A silvery like dome kept pulling me back, but slowly body conscious was coming back. As my sense of smell came back- I thought how could my cat litter box smell so bad, don’t ever buy that kind of litter again (the litter box is about 25ft and two rooms away). The stench was terrible. As my sense of feel came back, I felt a general ache all over from being “lifeless” and hunched over for how long? I Don’t know how long, most likely all night.
I then felt a terrible burning on my right cheek and right knee. I touched my face and felt a golf ball size bump that was painful to touch. I then felt a wet, sticky cold feeling on my left leg, and to my dismay realized I shat and pissed myself, no litter box to blame! A freezing sensation came over me, and I slowly moved to get out of my stinking clothes and get in the shower. Still fighting to remain an exemplary psychonaut, I re- up took my mid stream of urine in a glass. Within moments I was flying high again! I got into the boiling shower and heavily cleaned myself with all available soaps and shampoos and had to fight to stay in my body. The shower curtain became a line of portals to somewhere else and I realized I was I about to fall through the curtain. Fighting to get out of the shower unscathed and clean, I finally managed.
Getting out of the shower I could barely stand! I got dressed and attempted to act as if it was morning, but I felt an overwhelming sleepiness draw around me (I have an intuitive feeling during my hunched over blackout hours I was not asleep or anything close to it, but was far, far out of my body- where I was is the question; an interesting note about the uncontrolled release of the bowels is that this occurs at death!)
Around 9AM
I could not fight my plight for sleep. I awoke again around 5PM, tried to be normal and absorb what was going on – did another midstream urine uptake and was out cold again till 2AM. My dreams were vivid and bizarre. I wish I could say I was gliding through majestic realms or something of that sort, but I was like a carnival person and fighting with truck drivers trying to get to food and shelter and weird shit like that – not the highest dreams. I still have a lingering etheric feeling about me, but I feel I’ve regained my wits.
It’s now 5AM Saturday morning – wide awake with no hunger (I haven’t eaten since noon Thursday). I first thought the lump on my right cheek was from inside, a chemical reaction or growth of some kind, but upon examining it, I either fell flat on my face on the floor, fell out of my chair and hit my face on the table or was cold cocked by some inter dimensional Fly Agaric being! After waking the final time @ 2AM, I realized during the blackout I must have realized my unsavory condition because there was a towel on the floor that I used to attempt to clean up what spilled out of my pant leg, but I did nothing more, or maybe couldn’t ? Where was I???? All I know is it was empowering and cool.
“The more risky or dangerous our sadhana (spiritual practice) the stronger it becomes” –Amarananda Bhairavan
Nature is SCREAMING for us to wake up. Will we?
MahaKala
Exp Year: 2008 | ExpID: 69989 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Oct 4, 2022 | Views: 1,735 |
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Amanitas (5), Pharms - Diazepam (115), Cannabis (1), Alcohol - Beer/Wine (199) : Alone (16), Hangover / Days After (46), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), First Times (2) |
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