DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 tablet	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 2:00	1 tablet	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 0:00		smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

125 lb

My very first LSD trip brought with it some of the greatest revelations of my life. But for some reason, I can’t recall what most of them were. I made sure to take it the drug in the most supportive comfortable environment possible. Both me and A took two tabs each, while M supervised us, and provided us with activities.

I first remember noticing subtle changes in light and color, about an hour after taking the first hit. We lounged on my bed and watched a beautifully animated movie called Spirited Away as waited for the drug to take effect. About two hours after the first tab we decided to take the second.

The light that poured in from the window in my room looked strange to me, almost shiny. We decided to move outside to take look around.

The sun was warm, and a cool breeze blew into the yard. It was perfect weather actually. 75 degrees Fahrenheit with big fluffy clouds rolling through a rich blue sky. I sat by the pool and stuck my hand in. The water was a little chilly, but I moved my hand slowly to watch the ripples. The water seemed alive. I saw details in it I’d never seen before. Patterns almost. It was at this point I noticed more apparent differences in my perception of reality.

I went back inside to have some tea, but the tiles in the kitchen caught my eye. The light from the window poured onto the stone squares divided into the most intricate pattern I’d ever seen. It was like a primitive Escher-like cave painting, composed entirely of simplistic human figures linked together. The figures joined form an spiral in almost every tile on the floor. But looking closer the figures themselves seemed to be made of smaller figures. And they moved, not a great deal, but it almost seemed like they were alive. Dancing maybe. My entire perceptual reality was composed of these tiny fractal figures.

Using this new ability to see patterns, I began wandering around the house looking at various textures. I saw these little people in the different layers of the carpet, and in the golden paint sponged on my wall. The colors in the many paintings around the house seemed to melt or move. We made our way outside again.

Lying back on a lawn chair I gazed up at the sky. The clouds too were composed of these fractal people, and their movement through the air left me awestruck. I could see all of the layers of clouds above me moving slightly independently of each other. I let myself see a patch of wispy white clouds as the rough outlines of a man and a woman locked in an embrace. As I swept my eyes across the sky, they moved together, fluidly, turning their heads in a subtle but beautiful dance.

I began seeing spirals in almost everything I looked at. I began to think that I was a spiral (whatever that means) At this point that we decided to go to the park, with M as the designated driver. We smoked some pot and left. It was about then that I began to peak. Sitting in rush hour traffic was agonizing. The mysteries of the universe were unraveling themselves to me. I understood them, and yet, couldn’t vocalize them. Words were inefficient symbols, that could not possibly convey what I knew. I understood my place in the universe. I knew exactly who I was. How I got there. How everything was connected.

For some reason, I began to feel that my death was eminent. That that day was the grand crescendo to my life… Like the discovery of the secret to the universe was finalizing enough to be the end to my entire existence. I became afraid that in gaining this knowledge, by some freak stroke of luck I would die.

We got to the park safely, and after we walked around a bit, I peaked. The sidewalks were covered in patterns of spiraling fractal men. Spray painted symbols on the cement glowed neon green and crimson. I was overwhelmed. I hadn’t stopped crying since we got in the car to leave in the first place. I wanted to go home. I had discovered the ultimate answer, and it was too risky to be outside, in public. I needed to survive it, so I could return safely, come down from my high, and tell everyone what I learned. I needed to lie down and wait for the high to wear off.

Everything seemed so predetermined. I felt trapped in the spiral of the universe. Everything I was ever going to do was predestined. I was stuck in the paisley fabric existence. Finally A and I were able to convince M that the outside world was “too dangerous” and that we had to head back to home base.

We got back, where I was able to finish the trip in peace. If I tried to analyze what “I” was, it was like… seeing the depths of insanity. It gave me a massive headache. I got a similar headache when I tried to think about time. The high grew less and less intense, and slowly I forgot the “ultimate answer” I was so sure I had discovered earlier that day. By the time 2 a.m. rolled around, I was exhausted and finally passed out.

Since the trip ended I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the similarities in the behavior of all living things, the question as to whether or not time exists as a measurable flowing force, and the extreme importance of this miraculous drug. Seriously. Why does everyone seem to dismiss LSD these days? That may have been the single most important day of my entire short life.

Anyway, days later the details of the trip faded. Even now I can only vaguely remember what it was like to be on the drug almost like recalling a dream. But that trip changed me for the better. I feel like I was able to analyze myself, and better understand the person I am becoming. Regardless of the my little panic attack in the middle, it was an incredibly positive experience, and I would love to try it again sometime.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 72387
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 14, 2020	Views: 1,621
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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Small Group (2-9) (17)