DOSE:

100 mg

oral

Methamphetamine

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

46 kg

did the recriational thing lots of times and would do a heap at once... but now it's different. just 1 month after kicking a heroin habit, i was looking for something to enhance my body's feelings but remain alert. i was studying for an exam and not enjoying it so i tried the leftover spped i had from a party binge night a while ago.

this was the first time i did speed on a normal day with no intention for dancing, socialising etc. i'd never been that attracted b/c the come down from a speed binge was so horrible and achey. i always had heroin for normal days and spped just made me feel plain unhealthy.

nevertheless, i took it at the library, in the toilets. wondering how much to inject so i'd be just a little off my face. put around 30mg in the spoon, it dissolved just fine and wasn't cut with sugar for snorting or anything. for some reason it felt as though i had a cold tingling sensation left over in my vein where i shot up.

anyhow, came out of the toilets and felt fantastic, though my mind was a little worried as to when it would calm down. it wasn't the usual orgasmic speed feeling of a huge hit but i was able to study for a good 8 hours. on big binges the mind is able to think ahead of conversations, have a side idea to follow up with when the other person stops talking and actually take in what they're saying at the same time,- as well as analysing the previous conversation and events. but in moderation it just felt nice and kept me content to sit and study nucleic acids and DNA replication for a long time.

did that for a few days then it ran out. i had to face either doing something hard like studying on my own or paying 50 to 250 on more speed. i chose the letter. problem was i didn't have 200 so had to settle for only buying a point for double the price i would have paid if i had invested in a whole gram and split it.

the next week my pay came through so i did invest. the plan was to get a gram, take half for me and sell the other half, making back the 200 i spent. but i hooked up with a junky and he decided that it actually cost 220 so he'd have to take out some from my gram to make it a 200 dollar bag. he took more than enough and i came to a decision that it was too hard to get cheap so i'd just take all the speed for me and not bother selling.

this was good for a week and i was able to sleep every second night. main physical things seem to be subjective to injecting is feeling nauseous, feeling very bony, having plenty of headaches and heres a wierd one, needing to burp but not being able to. it would just sit there in my throat and not move, i'd try wacking my chest, lying down, jumping etc. nothing... then it would pop out only to be replaced by another in a minute or so.

didn't eat and started picking at my tiny pimples that were forming. these got bigger and i started squeezing at my skin just to see if there could be a pimple though visibly there wasn't. tried to keep my veins neat but bruises are inevitable. at least it's winter here.

now it's three in the morning and i've just scraped out the last soft little rocks and powdery granules from the gram bag into my plastic spoon. my syringe is slightly blunt b/c i didn't bother getting fresh ones and i've run out of alcohol swabs to sterilise with. it is the end of a period where i have not even bothered to lay a thought on emotional upheaval or contemplate what i'll be like when the drugs run out, just a mind-robot dedicated to studying biochemistry and getting the most out of the time awake.

i recommend drugs only for the social setting, do not habituate them outside of that category. you just can't keep up the payments.
i may be still doing this for a while, i can't even be bothered worrying right now. heroin was bad enough, b/c not only was it a way of (cliche) escaping, but it felt fucking good. speed desn't give that same relief, i think it's more a case where i'm just so happy to inject something that i know is supposed to make me feel different like i used to. i don't feel like taking the whole lot of speed like i did with heroin, mainly b/c i don' like the heart pulpitations. i have no idea what the lethal does is in terms of grams and points and i've never seen some one like that.

it's not such a reward to push the limits with speed other than the constant questioning and immense understanding. even that is too much to bear sometimes and you want to go back to ingorance, before all these life changing revelations ran through your mind.

i've got to sleep now. wish me luck in dealing with this tomorrow. no 'wake up and realise everythings cool b/c i've got half a gram in my pockets, i don't have to go and score.' no, tomorrow i'll be unable to sit down to a bit of work b/c there is a possibility of getting some cash and scoring another gram.

cheers lucy melbourne australia

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 7240
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 17, 2003	Views: 14,554
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Methamphetamine (37) : Various (28), Addiction & Habituation (10), General (1)