DOSE:	1 tablet	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
	2 tablets	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
	2 tablets	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
	2 tablets	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
	4 tablets	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

2000 lb

The following story tells the experiences of a youngish (19 years old) Irishman during an approximately 16 hour-long ecstasy binge that has permanently damaged his ability to function normally in this world.

The setting was a beautiful sunny Sunday on the August bank-holiday weekend of 2002 in a medium-sized town in the southwest of Ireland. Having the following day off work, the instigator of this caper was in fact the girlfriend of the author. Thus an innocent man was led astray, even though he himself was due to report for work as a manual labourer to save money for the following year of university at 8a.m. sharp the next morning. Although both parties were fairly experienced in drug-taking, neither had previously taken the quantities described here.

Two weeks previously a small quantity of 50 E were purchased by the girlfriend from a reputable dealer. These tablets were to be our supply for the rest of the summer, including any of my mates who were interested in dabbling. On finalising the transaction the girlfriend was advised to take two pills max at any one session. The pills in question were an off-white colour, with some brown specks and a stamp of what looked like a shoe on one side. This made some sense as they were nick-named ‘brógs’ in the town we lived in, bróg being the Gaelic for shoe.

Normally the excitement and curiosity would have gotten the better of us and we would each have sampled the batch the next weekend but as I had to leave the town to visit relatives, I ordered the pills to be put aside in a safe place until such time as we could take them together. I explained that I wanted the experience to be special and that taking E with my girlfriend was just that. This of course was utter nonsense, as I had nightmares of the greedy cow digging into my half of the bag. Surprisingly she bought my bulls**t and the bag was left hidden inside the girlfriends mattress, with all pills accounted for, until the fateful day arrived.

Saturday night came and went, and Sunday afternoon arrived, bringing with it glorious sunshine and general happy vibes in the town. Sundays are usually s**t but with no work for most of the population the following day, our town was buzzing with a rare happiness with people drinking, joking and laughing outside pubs. The girlfriend's parents were away for the holiday weekend so her place seemed like a logical setting for the session. I arrived up with a few CD’s and we got down to business.

As we dropped our first pills (4 p.m.) the girlfriend repeated what the dealer had told her about their strength but I dismissed this as the usual drivel all dealers give you when trying to make a sale. I usually take longer than normal to ‘come up’ so I deduced from the ear-to-ear grin slapped all over the girlfriends face at around t+45 minutes that maybe I was wrong on this occasion. Sure enough not 15 minutes later the characteristic tingling started in my gut, followed by two minutes of a combination of confusion, panic, and dread as my brain tried to make sense of the serotonin rush. These feelings gave way as quickly as they came on. The drug had by now left it's mark on both my body (pleasurable sensations) and mind (clarity of thought). This was a good batch and well worth the wait.

I lied when I told my girlfriend that the effects were wearing off, some time later. I was still as high as a kite. She got the bag and put another pill in the palm of my hand. Expecting me to pull my hand away immediately, she began to tie up the bag again. This man wasn’t happy with one. She gave me a stare before doubling my next dose, which kicked in in less than 20 minutes. This was too much. Not in a bad way; more like too much pleasure that the body could not cope with. I spent the next hour or so (time is hazy) writhing around on top of the living-room couch. I was completely unaware of what she was doing during this time as I was far too caught up in my own selfish hedonism. I came around after a while. My mouth was devoid of all moisture by this stage. The girlfriend brought me in a carton of apple juice, half of which a swamped back in one go. I was really enjoying this buzz.

We both calmed down enough later on to conduct a fairly meaningful conversation. We mostly discussed where the evening was headed. By this stage my mind was made up. I remembered work the next morning but I wasn’t going to let that ruin my night. We gave the prospect of sobering up some thought, but deep down we knew the score. We were in this for the long haul. Another two pills each made sure of that.

We decided to go for a walk. A ludicrous plan considering it was still early evening and we looked well-and-truly wired. She brought a few more with her and I grabbed a two-litre bottle of water. We walked down by the river-bank and sat on the grass. The bank of the river was lined with trees and shrubs and I remember saying to myself that I cannot think of a more beautiful place. We were completely f**ked by now. I can’t begin to even imagine what the strangers out walking their dogs thought, when confronted with the sight us. The decent people of the world avoided eye-contact. Some even turned back in disgust. I showed my indifference by downing another two.

It was shortly after that that the visions began to appear. I was seeing the shapes of random objects in the trees around us. A bicycle hung from one branch and a wheel-barrow from another. They were a source of great confusion to me, but never did I feel threatened. I thought it best to get back to the house as quickly as possible. I dragged myself off the ground and we plodded slowly back up to the main road. My mind was completely melted by this stage and quite frankly there was no need to eat another four pills like I did on the way back.

We spent some time sitting in her back garden. Quiet time mostly. She had stuff going on in her mind and I was trying to make sense of her face. It was constantly morphing in the faces of other people I knew. The changes took place every 3 or 4 seconds. So real. This worried me slightly. I think me staring at her was starting to freak out the girlfriend so we got up to head back inside the house. It was around 11 p.m. by now. When we turned around the realisation that we weren’t alone hit us hard. It turns out her younger brother and a mate had been staring out the kitchen window at us for quite some time, no doubt trying to figure out what the hell was going on with the two of us. To this day I still feel guilty about what that young-fella (15 years old) had to see. We were a sloppy mess. Mumbling to ourselves, stumbling in the back door. There was a genuine look of terror on his face. We headed upstairs to her room. The poor kid probably got less sleep then we did that night, if that’s possible.

By this stage I had consumed at least ten E’s. I don’t know for certain how many she had taken, not far behind me judging by what happened next. Apparently there emerged a third person to join our party. The girlfriend was fully engaged in what appeared to be a full conversation with someone. When I asked her who she was talking to, she looked at me confused and told me to get it together. Apparently she had introduced me to this person (a mate of hers from college) but I was being a pr**k by ignoring them both. There was clearly no-one in the room only us two, even I could work that out. This girl was cusp of a mental breakdown. It didn’t mean I hadn’t doubted myself though. How could I trust these eyes after what they’d put me through.

I can only assume that the rest of the morning was spent eating pills and lying on her bed, all three of us! I cannot recall much of this part of the session. I seemed to fade in and out. I’m not exactly sure when our ‘guest’ left us, but by 6 a.m. my girlfriend was back only talking to me.

Even though I was keeping the ecstasy levels high in my bloodstream, the drug was having zero effect by this stage. The early signs of hangover depression were kicking in. I honestly don’t know how many more I took during the morning. I couldn’t even guess.

As only a drugged up idiot would, I prepared myself for my day of work. This involved taking a shower and a piss. The shower part went as well as could be expected. The pissing however did not. All my muscles were completely rigid, including whatever group of muscles let you drain urine from your bladder. I had to sit down like a girl and force it out, at substantial pain as you can well imagine. I went to kiss my girlfriend good-bye and noticed the bag that contained the pills was on the floor. I couldn’t help but notice that there was no more than 15 left of the original 50. I grabbed a few and made my way to the bus station for the 7:10 bus to work. Needless to say my productivity levels were low that morning. Turning up at work was a bad idea, but luckily there were only few of us due to the holidays. I spent the day in the canteen drinking cup after cup of ice-cold water.

Although I had taken E before this, I had never before been bombarded with the hallucinations I experienced that time. I have never taken even remotely close to that quantity since. I conservatively reckon I ate 15-20 pills in that 16 hours of insanity. Ever since I have suffered depression which doesn’t respond well to medication. I am now a very anxious person, where before I was strong and sure of myself. I am paranoid of a lot of people in my life. I now despise my sister for no other reason than that my incapacitated mind is convinced that she’s out to destroy my life. I went through a period of not being able to leave my house, as I was afraid of the life outside. Abusing the drug has left me unable to enjoy things that would otherwise be a source of fascination to me. I’m a shadow of the man I was before, but I’m slowly trying to put that right.

I suppose my story is funny in places, but the damage ecstasy had done to my brain is very very real. Hopefully some day I’ll look back on the experience and laugh, but I don’t feel much like laughing now.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 72449
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jul 27, 2013	Views: 1,254
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