DOSE:

15 lines

insufflated

Anadenanthera colubrina

(seeds)

BODY WEIGHT:

78 kg

Modern science, scientists. Law-makers. Well-educated psychiatrs. Gate-keepers of blind governments. It is your duty to keep this madness going, and it is our duty to keep this 'self' centered, pure and innocence. I still feel mentally dirty, yes, but I know it's your mud I will eventually get rid of.

Before Vilca...

One evening we (five people) decided to heal ourselves with Yage made of Mimosa and Rue. Results were interesting, but something seemed to be missing. It was probably the dosage, as the setting was secure and nice, very friendly (We're good friends in search of our Selves). We had used about 65 grams of Mimosa and 15 grams of Rue. Music was only icaros. One of us puked immediately after having his cup. He had a very mild journey. Other three including me puked in about 45 minutes but one never puked. Of course he was the one who had the most intense journey.

So here we are, almost 'sober' now, just chatting and laughing. After a few hours, maybe 4 or 5, we decided to try Vilca for the first time. It was midnight. The one who hadn't puked went to sleep as he was tired. The other one didn't want to try as he felt hungry. So now we were three only (the guy who puked first is with us: this is an important detail to make a comparement as you'll realize).

My mood: A little bit sleepy and tired, but certainly not happy. With constant low seratonine and dopamine levels, that's quite normal for me -in this stage of human life.

E.'s mood: Calm, not much tired, and certainly not happy (the reason is not much different).

M.'s mood: Not bad, almost happy. This guy is the one who had puked first.

I roasted 15 Colubrina seeds, than made a powder (that was not well-powdered actually) of it and mixed it with some lime and a few drops of water. We didn't want to wait (yes, a terrible mistake..) so in 15 minutes our huge lines were ready. I snorted first, all of it in 3-5 seconds. And the others followed. Then we all sat down. And of course, it burnt very, very badly. Tears were flowing down on our faces which turned purple now. I remember M. saying: I can't breathe. Right after that we began to feel it coming. So fast, so powerfull. So much energy, and the evil feeling.. Pure chaos.. We, being not able to move or talk or think, held our buckets tightly and stayed in this position for a few minutes. I said 'evil feeling', and that's definately how Vilca works. First you have to face Evil to be allowed to know Good; a system that works not much different the way Life works.

M.'s situation got worse. Now he was vomiting violently every few minutes, and also coughing, saying that he was hot and could not breathe. To help him, I and E. had to choose a Self first as we had almost lost ourselves (the self that is used to buy a beer, for example; or to study -fine arts- and become an artist to feed one's confused ego, you know..) and through blurry, dark-colored and threatening visuals, we tired to talk to him to calm him down and in fact, to keep him 'awake' as we'd thought he was facing something fatal.

I guess we all felt the real terror of death for the first time in our lives. Even the idea of death was something kept constantly away from us till that night (using different methods of so-called education as a mask that lack any spirutal contents) as a primary taboo along with sex.

And for the first time in our lives we felt so human and alive. That should be what so-called primitive people doing all the time using these sacred plants in the beautiful forests, or great mountains: Experiencing Death, Experiencing Life. To feel like a human -naked in every meaning.

M. almost lost conscienceness a few times, and was still vomiting. Then something happened: He could hear us at last, he responded. We told him that we were real friends, and real warriors and he understood what we meant. He was now fighting; fighting through his tortured past, his ego that was shaped without his own will (like many of ours) and possibly fatal body-overload. And eventually his well-protected Self, Center -you name it-, began to take control of his body and his mind. He said for the first time: Yes I will, I will fight. And he did so. It took almost 2 hours for him to get back to this reality we call 'normal'. But he was changed, we were changed, we were happy to be alive, happy to be friends, happy to have been doing what we really wanted to do in life: A spiritual journey to 'know'; nothing but to know the truth, to feel the truth that lies beneath the mud of Human/Earth/Cosmos conscienceness.

Now a feeling not much different than what MDMA gives one had covering us. Pure bliss, profound undertanding, empathy and 'hope'. But unlike MDMA, this was much more natural, much more child-like: it felt so innocent. Then Y. joined us. He was downstairs during the Vilca healing, and he didn't have an idea of what had just happened. But when he saw our faces he quickly understood that something extraordinary had happened. A positive reflection. He gave me a cigarette. That was a gift. I felt so great. We talked a lot that evening. We talked about our selves, our pasts, feeling pure empathy for each other that let us understand and know each other so deeply for the first time. Yes, NOW we were friends. Life is life. Tragedy is crystal-clear, that's right. And the Future is misty. But we decided to fight. A fight for Self-Awareness, and Freedom: A notion, that has been raped by the SHADOWS.

After a few hours of joy andd bliss, we all fell asleep. Not in our beds, but on the ground, like happy puppies, and woke up early.

Something was different for three of us who survived the night before. So we woke up, still feeling sort of weird, but in a good way. E. said it was one of those mornings found only in a thousand which he really welcomed the brand new day. I felt the same, and M. felt the same (his face now looked bright, happy and content). What had happened to us? Now we can talk about many bio-chemical stories about Rue, or DMT or Bufotenine; what they do in the brain, how they work and in which combination etc.. No. Instead, I would like to continue:

We went outside, all together. We walked under the sunshine and ate a pizza at somewhere. It was delicious. We went to book-store and bought a copy of Eliade Marcea's 'Shamanism'. Though he doesn't support the idea of using plants that he calls narcotics (that's understandable when you have look at his past, especially his education period), the book is still a great source about the importance of Shamanism, explaining all the details and rituals that one should know if he/she is into this subject.

We spent some happy hours outside, realizing that our visual perception which was clouded by chemicals (the list is long) had turned back to those days of childhood. If you have used LSD or similiar synthetic substances more than a few times, then you'll understand what I mean. Tree was tree, sky was sky. Colours were brilliant.

Now it was time to go back our homes. I took a bus. On the bus I saw a young boy, maybe thirteen years-old. He was talking to his friends, laughing, joking: happy and innocent. That had never happened to me before: Seeing him smiling, full of life, so alive almost moved me to tears. The feeling I had in that afternoon was something inexpressible -yet so real. More real than the word 'real'.

When I was home, I was still feeling content and happy. Almost shocked, too. Remember: I hadn't feel that good for more than 15 years. And guess what happened? I tried to drink a beer, just one can. I felt nauseas. Why? I asked myself. No, not even one beer. So I stayed away from this substance that is promoted to our present culture to keep everyone stupid and 'working'. I guess I didn't want to ruin the magic, which worked much more effective than anything 'modern' science can offer when the subject comes to stress/depression. And M. gave up acid. He doesn't like it any more I guess. E. and I. kept feeling like little children for about a month: Emotionally content.. Then one day we felt it coming: The SHADOWS..

That's OK. We are warriors like our wise ancestors. We believe in good/bright days. We'll never give up. When we see the shadows gets crowded, we'll heal ourselves. Again and again. And Yes, the shadows will never have any idea of what is going on. And this is the way it has to be. So, welcome Evil..

Thank you for reading. I hope I could tell something usefull.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 73615
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 30, 2009	Views: 23,701
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Anadenanthera colubrina (139) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Relationships (44), Nature / Outdoors (23), Mystical Experiences (9), Difficult Experiences (5), Preparation / Recipes (30)