DOSE:	28 g		Banisteriopsis caapi
	28 g		Psychotria viridis
			Ayahuasca

BODY WEIGHT:

165 lb

'There’s a certain point where I feel like I can do anything on Ayahuasca. It’s like a feeling of being connected with a universal, spiritual consciousness where I'm part of the dream and the dream is the inner workings of reality. After I drank some of the brew yesterday at about three o clock I went outside and raked the leaves, wondering if it would even do anything since I’ve never tried this combination of herbs before. I had tried Ayahuasca only one other time but with mimosa instead of chacruna. About hour later or forty five minutes I noticed things started changing, the colors were a little more vibrant and as I stood against the banister leading to my basement I watched as things continued to change rather quickly, unlike mescaline or acid which is a very slow onset.

At one point I decided I better get in the house quick and that’s when things got hairy. I was hallucinating like crazy, colors, shapes, all moving rapidly and changing, morphing, I laid down on my bed and at that point could no longer get up. I mean it would have been crazy to try. I remember saying out loud over and over, “everything’s fine everything’s fine” for a long time to keep myself calm. I said many things out loud over and over, like “oh my God…” I basically invented a new language of sounds and remember feeling like I understood what people go through when they speak in tongues. The terror was intense but I no longer had any fear of death, it was completely gone, as if death was just the next transition. I had the feeling that whatever was happening was good for me. There’s a lot I can’t remember but I believed I had spent the entire night there and that it was morning. I felt like I had been up all night too but when I finally got up and looked at the clock, it was about nine thirty in the evening so the whole thing had lasted about six hours.

Towards the end of the journey I kept going through dozens of things in my mind, getting them all clear about people I needed to write and things that I needed to say to them. I felt like I was cleaning things up for myself. They all became less important the next day but I realize they’re still important.

When it first came on I also remember feeling like, oh shit, I really wish I hadn’t done this. I also felt like I had returned to the enchanted place I had gone to before several times in the past two or three months. During that time I had had what might be called a crash course in Entheogens of every sort. I felt connected to others who have gone there too.

There’s definitely something sexual about the whole thing but not like in a normal way, more like a feeling of being reborn or maybe before you were born, not in a good way or a bad way but in a very profound and all powerful way, like you’re back there in this cosmic soup but also connected to other people. It felt perhaps like being in a womb, it’s hard to describe. I remember having a waking dream at one point and going through a house and seeing some people and going into a grocery store and getting some food, just regular dream stuff. It felt like it connected dreams to consciousness sometimes.

I want to know if I’m going this “right” I feel like I need to have a guide I want to go back there in spite of the terror.'

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 75401
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 28, 2018	Views: 1,784
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Banisteriopsis caapi (169), Psychotria viridis (170), Ayahuasca (8) : General (1), Alone (16)