DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 tablet	oral	Hydrocodone
T+ 6:00	1 tablet	oral	Hydrocodone

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

Sometime in the summer or spring of 2008 I broke two wisdom teeth clean in half. Apparently I've got a pretty high tolerance to pain because I didn't notice other than occasional mild headaches, earaches, and waking up to grinding my teeth in my sleep sometimes and that I wrote off to smoking tobacco which is a relatively new hobby. In december of 2008 I started a new job working in a battery factory and immediately got very ill, I thought because of the chemical miasma I was exposed to. My mom noticed how swollen my neck was all my lymph nodes were huge and it was slightly painful to turn my head so I went to the doctor and while he thought the chemical exposure played some role in my illness, he found the broken teeth and concluded those were abcessed.

I then went to the dentist and he took one look in my mouth, said, 'Yikes, no wonder, those have got to come out! I'm going to write you a referral to see an oral surgeon and give you something for the pain, there are several surgeons in the next town over see which one you can get into quickest.'

He was sitting behind me writing out the script and I asked him nicely to not give me anything that would make me loopy, he just grinned and said if what I experienced was too profound to cut the pills in half. I've experimented with drugs in the distant past, salvia, pot, meth, alcohol, E, datura, but never pain pills and because I lived through a decade of my father's profound, messy, insane, addiction to pain medications I wasn't looking forward to it. As the dentist had poked around, for the first time my mouth actually hurt and boy did it! The pain wasn't just in my jaw, it radiated clear across my face and the advil I'd taken earlier suddenly wasn't helping. I wanted to go home curl up in a ball and just cry the idea of surgery scared the hell out of me, the whole situation did.

I dropped off the script and while waiting went shopping with my mom. I was uncomfortable and very nervous about taking the pills so I picked up another bottle of advil just in case I decided I didn't need them. While walking around the store I went to look for eggnog, it was the season but walmart was out of it, but I spied some organic goats milk. I'd never had goats milk but my father told me lots of stories and fibs about growing up on a farm and it's something I'd always wanted to try so I bought a carton, figuring I could always give it to our dogs if I didn't like it.

I went home, told my father of the situation and we were in the kitchen joking around. I opened the carton of goats milk and sniffed it, it definitely had a unique smell. My parents encouraged me to take the pain pills, I was asking my father what it would be like, if it would make me dizzy having never taken codeine before I had no idea, a friend once told me it was like being drunk and that didn't sound very good; all he would say was, 'Just take the pill, it won't hurt you.' So I poured myself a glass of goats milk, and without further thought took my first pill and a huge gulp.

The goats milk was very gamey and very strong and had a strange cottony quality though it was liquid. I almost checked my teeth for fur, actually. The pill went down fine, didn't even taste it but I shuddered involuntarily anyways. Without going into detail and off topic, years before an abusive boyfriend and two pills of E wrecked me for months and sent me into a serious depression, I've been wary of bad experiences, not so much the drugs but the bad experiences and memories I now carry... I used to love exploring myself and used drugs to enhance that, but not anymore.

The goatsmilk really has an aftertaste that's unforgettable, my mom went and got burgers and that finally, almost got rid of the taste of goat. About an hour and a half later I started to feel a bit loopy, as though I were lighter than I really was, and things took on a very... endearing quality. I was sitting on my parents bed watching TV with my mom and my dog jumped up on the bed, he's got this beautiful ruff of pure white fur around his shoulders and neck and I couldn't help but be mesmerised by how cool and soft his fur was. I was loving on my dog, really felt like I was connecting with him and of course he was loving it and being a big goof snorting and wiggling around and inviting the other dogs to come chew on him. I was really, really happy - and not in pain any longer and I relaxed, thinking, 'hey, these aren't so bad!' I don't normally show so much open, concentrated affection to anything, any time, especially not this dog because he's got aggression and dominance issues and it can cause a fight, but thankfully then it didn't for some reason and I certainly didn't feel like it would right then.

I probably spent an hour totally focused on being lovey-dovey, warm, and enjoying myself, everything appeared more vivid and less frightening than it normally does. I felt free, emotionally, and though I was still me it was the loving, unashamed, uncautious version of yesteryear. I have no doubt that was helped by the fact I was taking the drug for a 'real' reason, not illegally, and I was at home where I feel safest. Eventually I was a bit tired so I went and took a nap.

I woke up around 8pm and it had been 10 hours since I took the first pill. Aside from being in a good mood and feeling a little disconnected I wasn't really feeling the effects anymore. My parents advised me I need to keep taking the pills because they should be taken before the pain starts or they may not work apparently the first one should have helped more quickly than it did, so I took another pill, grabbed a plate of meatloaf and mashed potatoes (my favorite, mom felt bad so she was babying me) and went back to bed, ate, promptly went to sleep.

I woke up around midnight and really, really wished I hadn't taken the second pill. I felt profoundly drugged, sat up in bed and immediately had to lean forward and spread my hands out braced against the bed to steady myself otherwise I would have fallen over. My head was spinning... what can I say, it was scary, but I was too drugged to really be afraid and that was seriously concerning, in a nano-second I decided I wouldn't take the pills anymore, a very dispassionate decision because I was very disconnected and viewing myself from a point lightyears away , and then I flopped back into bed and slept it off - I could not have walked had I wanted or needed to. I've seen animals coming out of sedation and I felt like that, and no doubt looked like it as well and it's not a pretty sight. I at least didn't feel like I needed to throw up, the worst part about alcohol, but I've never experienced being drunk and having it be that complete and intense.

I have a lot of respect for drugs, sometimes if used carefully and wisely they can show a person a new perspective of their life and that can be a healthy thing, but I was very happy with my life and didn't need the drugs to show me anything at that time and certainly not on a daily basis, it felt wrong. The wonderful moments with my dog were a gift but it was obvious the first pill was one thing, but I had still been under and unaware of the effects of that first pill when I took the second and it had kicked my ass. When I got up I still felt weird and I promptly dumped the rest of the bottle down the drain in the kitchen. My parents got mad at me but I suffered for a month and a half - suffered a lot - taking only advil until my surgery and I don't regret it.

I'm sure this is a really helpful drug, but I didn't need it.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 77373
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 9, 2016	Views: 8,182
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Hydrocodone (111) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Medical Use (47)