DOSE: T+ 0:00	3 g		Syrian Rue
T+ 0:45	15 g		Diplopterys cabrerana

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

At the beginning of the year, I attempted to concoct my first Ayahuasca brew and erred somewhere in the process. Today, I gave it another shot with corrected errors and a stronger brew. In preparation, I cleaned up my room a little bit, fasted almost 24 hours before ingestion, took a hot shower right before ingestion thinking of what I wanted to know before undergoing the experience; I decided that I simply wanted more 'meaning' thrown my way. I put on some comfortable clothes then began the spiritual journey at 9:45 AM.

9:45: Consumed the half-cup of the MAOI inhibitor Syrian Rue (3 grams). Retched taste. For the next forty minutes, I went online and ordered my MDF plane and venue tickets, then meditated on my chair.

10:25: Forty minutes later, I drank the near cup-size of Chaliponga (15 grams).

10:35: The weightless feeling/vertigo started coming with tracers, many of them. I had no nausea as of yet.

10:45: Already, I was having a great many closed-eye visuals, automatic self-dialog, questions, questions, and more questions. Nausea was starting to set in, sometimes it would come hard and then dissipate.

11:00: Around this time, the 'purge' suddenly reached out to me, and I scurried to the bathroom to 'purge'. A lot came out. Immediately after, there was a rush of tameness and letting go, a rebirth. Time really got distorted and the DMT was kicking into high gear.

I spent most of my time 'passed out' either on the floor or on the bed. The state was like a lucid dream or an out of body experience. I had no control over anything. I hummed uncontrollably, the hum resembled something a Shaman would hum in ceremonies. I'd like to emphasize that I had zero control over the compulsions of my body. My hands were constantly twirling my hair, my hair got into my mouth, and my fingers got into my mouth. I teared up a lot of the time, most of the time without even knowing I was releasing any tears, tears of the awe I was experiencing. It was as if some spiritual guide was taking over my body.

This programmed world didn't interest me much, but the times that I would tune back shortly to this world, I was barely able to walk. My body waved in a very fluid motion. My mind was very much disassociated from my body. I felt like I was another being looking down at the body of another human. Again, I had zero control. Even when back in this world of ours, I felt like I had completely been taken over. I was made to dance like a Sufi Muslim or any other free-expression, careless dancing. I collapsed at one point right beside the bed and sat up for a while without knowing. Pain was not felt on my body, but it was felt in the mental state, of which it was essential, like the highs and lows of a wave function or the tremble of a musical cord, the pain and pleasure contrasted against each other as the two 'musts' in life, the Yin & Yang. I was taught, as also in Kabbalah, that all is the way it should be, all fits into place perfectly and always will, but we just don't see it. We are veiled. Off and on, I'd also see fractals (a nice glimpse of infinity). This was sense over-stimulation, over and over, with split second internal dialog on every fraction of fractal piece, each piece complex in and of itself. Sometimes it would halt and turn into a void, only to return full-fledged.

All throughout this, I was still humming off and on (mostly on) with no control over it. The hum came as natural as breathing. Everything came as natural as breathing.

Also, as what is stated in Kabbalah, the essence of all is in pure desire alone. Nothing here is real. All is Maya! (Jodorowsky's ending to the The Holy Mountain, you are Awesome! What's up Plato!) As said by the Upanishads, dreams are like a lesser reality of this world we live in, and this world we live in is a lesser reality of the enlightened state. All is one anyway, we just don't agree to it. Essence alone is the most real, but even 'thinking' about it gives it a material touch so it ceases to be essence. Catch 22.

1:00: Coming down. My hair was a tangled mess; so tangled, it looked like dreads. I felt spiritually full and at peace.

I never in my life experienced anything so profound, touching on spirituality, the bare bones of what is real. Life-changing.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 77838
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 21, 2013	Views: 10,802
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Syrian Rue (45), Diplopterys cabrerana (157), Huasca Combo (269) : Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3), Alone (16)