BODY WEIGHT:

170 lb

(Please take the time to read this long yet detailed account of what PMA feels like. If others could read it they wouldn't be so blind like I was. I haven't been able to find any personal accounts of what PMA is like, so maybe this will help someone.)

I like to go to raves, I love to do ecstacy. I am not a candy kid, or anything out of the norm for an 18 year old other than my occasional use of ecstacy which I use maybe once or twice a month. In early February 2001 I went to a rave at the Icehouse in Phoenix Arizona. I have been there for many parties before, so I felt comfortable. About the only thing out of the norm that night was that I barely knew the girl I went with. I hadn't brought any E with me that night, and stupidly I bought two pills from a guy I didn't know. Yeah I acknowledge that was stupid. He was a wierd looking guy to me then, although now when I picture him I picture an evil rat, maybe a little overdramatic, but I have reason. He told me they were White Mitsubishi Doublestack pills.

I thought I had heard of Mitsubishi before, so I bought them. As he walked away, the person I came with told me she thought I just got jipped because he was laughing when he walked away. I walked into the bigger room of the warehouse, with the louder music and took one of the pills. Almost immediately I felt sick to my stomach like I was gonna throw up, but I didn't. Instead I walked over to the wall and sat down for a few minutes, thinking I was just nauseaus from being nervous about buying from a stranger. I got up and walked around after my stomach settled to check out all the other rooms, and came back to find my friend when I felt like I was starting to roll about 45 minutes to an hour later.

She took one look at me and made a face like she was mad or something, and said 'Heather you....nuh nuh nuh nuh'. I couldn't understand her, she spoke perfect English before, but I couldn't comprehend her words. She led me to the wall to sit down and I just remember feeling so cold, like frozen cold. I asked her to open my bottle when she informed me that what I had been trying to open to drink as water was a glowstick. I started talking to what I thought was a person next to me, then a few sentences into our conversation realized there was no our, just me, I was talking to thin air.

I was not panicky, like one would be on a bad trip, I was just calm and oblivious to the fact that I couldn't hold my eyes still, I had picture vision. You look at something, then when you move your head to look in another direction, you see the same thing for about 2 seconds instead of what you are presently looking at. I couldn't hear music anymore, just an a trippy sounding wave. My friend told me to get up, we were leaving. I asked why, like a child would, and she said 'because you are freaking out, you are freezing cold but you are soaking wet, and I'm sure there are cops all over'.

We left after she got someone to help me walk because I couldn't figure out how to use my legs. She drove my car home and the whole time she said I was rubbing my emergency brake and complaining that my left leg felt realllly skinny. I kept asking the thin air in the back of my car (I thought was a person) if he was cold and needed me to roll my window up. She just kept telling me there was no one there, I would say 'oh yeah' and turn around and do it 2 minutes later unknowlingly.

When we got back, her and I just thinking I had really strong E she went to bed. I stayed up outside to smoke a cigarette and still kept trying to this mysterious air man that I kept thinking I saw. He never talked back to me, he just kept giving me really mean, scary looks, even though he wasn't really there. I started to realize that he wasn't there and went inside. I couldn't focus on the clock to see what time it was so I decided instead of freaking myself out, because I started to panic, I would take a relaxing bath. I remember turning the water off, and being confused about where all my stuff was, (I was at my friend's apartment, she remininded me 5 times that night) but then just sitting there, thoughtless.

It was like time stopped, and so did I. All I remember is one second of the guy I kept thinking I saw crouching next to me, still shooting evil glares at me as I lay pracitically lifeless in the water, and other than that I have no account of what happened in that one hour, that I was not sleeping. It was like I was not in my body, but somehow I know my eyes were open and my eyes saw something, just not the view they should have had, they saw something else only it was like in slow motion, or pause. What woke me out of this 'trance' was my own screams, I don't know what scared me, because like I say I have no recollection.

I just remember that I had shampoo in my mouth and I was trying to rinse it out. My friend had been woken up by my screams and came in to see what was wrong. She helped me rinse my mouth out and get out and get dry. She calmed me down and had me come to bed. Eventually I fell asleep. The next day I didn't feel too bad, that I can remember just a little shook up that there was no way that was ecstacy. I did some research of my own to find out what tester kits said about the kind of pill I bought and read up on PMA. I am positive that is what I had.

For a few weeks afterward, I seemed to have some memory loss such as not remembering what month it was, and literally having to ask. That seems to have faded. I know I had an angel watching me that night. After hearing about how some people have died from this stuff, I feel very lucky to be alive, and feel very badly for anyone who has bought or will buy pills with PMA. They probably won't know if they live to see the next day, until the next day, that things weren't right. I was content and didn't have the concept of, 'seeing people that aren't there, not being able to hear, see, walk, just because you can't remember how, is not rollin'.

I just hope more people hear about this, and possibly get tester kits to see that there is MDMA in their pill, and if not, don't touch it. Otherwise you are blind to what you are taking, and your brain, and your life, are worth more than the testing kit, or the high itself. At least I know mine was, and so agreed someone watching from above. Thanks.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 7897
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 6, 2001	Views: 27,564
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